


Maelstrom

by wolfpawn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caring, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Kindness, Male Victim, Partner Abuse, Physical Abuse, Tumblr: imagine-loki, female abuser, listening, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:03:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 46,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15350700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfpawn/pseuds/wolfpawn
Summary: Imagine helping Loki leave his physically and emotionally abusive girlfriend. You treat him with kindness and respect, and with time, as he falls for you, you teach him that love isn’t supposed to hurt.Maelstrom - a situation or state of confused movement or violent turmoil.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, you have all the warnings. This story is going to go into a dark place with the abuse of a partner by those they love and they think loves them. I have gone for a male abuse victim and a female abuser this time, but abuse is abuse, male or female, it is never okay and no one is beyond being a victim, your gender does not save you from abuse.

Cara walked through the hallway wondering why she had ever agreed to assist her sister that day.

When people were asked about the daughters of Tyr, Everyone would automatically think of Sif, the warrior ally of Prince Thor, formidable and able to best most any man in the arena, they would have to think for a moment to recall his other daughter; Cara’s name was never the first to pass anybody's lips.

Cara was younger than Sif and was very much in her older sister shadow from much of their childhood, though she was not bothered by such things. In fact, she had been accepted, not only as a healer's apprentice but as Eir’s, the most coveted of such positions, so Sif's choice in pursuits were of little concern to Cara. The sisters never saw themselves and being in competition, as both lived such different lives and had different aspirations. When Sif became a warrior, Cara was elated for her, and when Cara was chosen by Eir personally, the Warrior Maiden was the first one to let everyone know that Cara was her sister.

Cara sighed as she set out the different chores she would be required to do for the day. It was one of the reasons Eir had told her to be the best candidate for her apprentice, she was always thinking ahead ready for something new and unexpected. When the door of the healing rooms opened, she had thought it would be just as simple scalding from a hot pot or even a small cut from a knife preparing the food for dinner, she was not expecting a member of the royal family. ‘Oh…’ She looked at the prince standing across from her looking somewhat sheepish. ‘Can I assist you, your highness?’

‘I…’ Loki looked around. ‘Is anybody else here?’

‘No, your Highness.’ She smiled politely, wondering if there was a reason he asked such a thing. ‘ I can call on Eir if you would prefer?’

‘Your Sif’s sister, correct, Cara?’ the question seemed half a demand more than anything.

‘Yes, your….’ She watched as he turned on his heels and bolted from the room. Assuming it was because of her link to his brother's friend, Cara thought nothing more of it and continued with her chores. she had all but forgotten of her earlier encounter with the prince by the time she returned from lunch to hear Eir speaking with someone behind a curtain.

‘Of course, Your Highness, I just need to wait for Cara to return.’

‘Cara?’

‘My apprentice.’

‘No!’

‘No?’

‘No, not her.’

‘Has Cara done something to warrant such reactions, your Highness? If she has, it is my duty to know of such.’

‘Her sister….’

The Lady Sif?’

‘Yes, she…’

‘Has Cara revealed personal information of a sensitive manner to her sister concerning a patient?' Eir demanded.

On the other side of the curtain, Cara felt our blood run cold at the allegation, having never done such a thing and knowing to do so would have her immediately expelled from her apprenticeship. She was all but finished and Eir had spoken to her regarding becoming a permanent member of the palace's healers. Anger and fear coursed through her as she waited to see if her career and all of her hard work was about to be obliterated because of a lie.

‘No.’ Relief flooded her. ‘But were she to….’

‘Your Highness, were she to do so, Cara would lose her licence and she would be forced from her apprenticeship as well as face a disciplinary.’

‘How so?’

‘All healers, even apprentices, are sworn to secrecy regarding our charge's care. I cannot reveal to you anything Thor discusses with me on one of his visits unless it is a matter of life and death, Cara is forced to adhere to the same oath and if I am honest, of all the healers and apprenticeships on my staff, Cara is the one I would wager would not break her oath upon pain of death. she and The lady Sif are not very similar beings for siblings, but they are identical to the Lord Tyr in that manner. loyal and honourable.’

‘So she is not likely to reveal anything?’

‘No, my prince. She very much wishes to become a permanent healer here, I do not think it she would jeopardize her chances of her dream career to mess with you over something so minor.’

‘Very well.’

‘I’ll just see if….oh!’ Eir opened the curtains to see Cara standing against the far wall looking a mixture of emotions that told her the younger woman have been privy to the conversation. ‘Cara, I need disinfectant swabs and also a wound stitch kit, please.’ The healer tested the waters with her clearly upset apprentice.

‘How long?’ Her voice cracked slightly.

‘Three inches.’ Cara nodded and immediately set about the task at hand. on her return, Eir appeared to have gone to check something else, but knowing what was expected of her, Cara set about what was required.

She bowed as she approached the prince, noting the way he was cradling one of his arms, and the level of damage it seemed to have received somehow as he seemed to have the decency to seem somewhat remorseful for his accusations.

She looked at his arm and assessed the damage for a moment before readying what was required. ‘I am going to put this on the wounds now, it may sting.’ She informed him.

“May?”

‘It varies from being to being.’ She gave a polite smile before taking his hand to extend his arm, then pressed a swab to his skin, causing him to hiss.

‘Does it ever not sting?’ he asked through gritted teeth.

‘Not from what I had seen.’

‘Even Thor?’

Considering the conversation he had just had with Eir, Cara suspected the prince to be testing her. ‘Everyone I have treated or seen being treated with it has had some form of reaction, some more than others.’ She stated politically. Loki said nothing more, watching as she dabbed each wound on his forearm before gently trying them. ‘Now, I am going to give you a small bit of this ointment, it does not sting, it is actually quite soothing.’ She explained.

‘Why do you do that?’ Loki's curiosity got the better of him. ‘Why do you explain everything?’

‘I like to allow people to know what I am doing to them, I find it makes them more comfortable with the process. Would you rather I didn't?’

‘No, please continue, is actually pleasant to be aware of the procedure.’

Cara nodded slightly and she turned his arm to reveal a far larger and deeper cut than she had tended to on the other side. ‘The problem with daggers.’ she smiled, continuing her work. Loki said nothing in response.

She has all but finished stitching his large cross on the door of the healing rooms burst open, startling them both as a woman walked in. ‘There you are.’ She declared. ‘I was getting worried. What…what is this?’

‘Some small wounds that needed tending, nothing more.’ Loki explained.

‘Oh, those things, why are you wasting this busy healer’s time with a few scratches, she has far more important things to do.’ The woman dismissed.

Cara said nothing as she finished stitching the wound which Lucia could surely see was quite deep.

Lucia, was the daughter of the Lord Tywin, the ambassador of Vanaheim, and Loki’s significant other. Cara had seen them together at events and personally thought them ill-matched. Loki seemed more at ease speaking with delegates, his mother, and even on occasion even his brother and his brother's friends. Lucia, on the other hand, was more inclined to be found in the centre of things, laughing loudly and in need of an audience. Cara suspected that their match was more one of opportunity on behalf of Lady Lucia, but she felt no right to comment. Lucia was beautiful, but her manner never appealed to Cara, and now, with Loki clearly in need of medical attention and her dismissing it, Cara felt even less inclined to like the other woman.

‘I will bandage it now, just come back in the morning and it should be as good as healed but they seem a little red so I would be worried in case of infection so we best check it again then.’

‘Of course.’ Lucia smiled, putting her arm around Loki’s. ‘Come, Dear, your brother said that he and the others are going to demand entertainment for dinner this evening.’ She pulled on his wounded arm causing him to wince.

‘Thank you.’ Loki commented as he rose to his feet. Cara nodded slightly. ‘And with regards earlier…..’

Cara put up her hand to silence him. ‘Completely understandable.’ She smiled, turning to clean away the used material.

‘Come on, Loki.’ Lucia insisted, her tone alike to that of a petulant and impatient child.

When Loki hissed once more, Cara turned to face them again, noting that Lucia was again gripping his already injured arm tightly and that her nails, new false ones, left indentations on his skin, identical to the ones she had just treated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara walks through the gardens to get some herbs and is made privy to a less than pleasant conversation before attending an event where her sister gives her a little more information on Lucia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, more emotional abuse here.

Cara had learnt a lot in her time under Eir’s tutelage. One such thing was never to it assume anything. Loki's wounds were nothing too severe and could be the result of any manner of action. Their likeness to Lady Lucia's false nails could be utterly coincidental or perhaps, going by his lack of wanting her in particular to know, could be the result of overly amorous displays of lust. It was not her place to judge, though part of her did. To Cara, who had been taught to question everything, and to try and see things from every angle, she suspected, from the alteration in Loki’s behaviour and by what Eir had taught her to look for, she suspected that Loki had received those marks in a manner he did not consent to. The only issue was, she had no inkling as to if or how she should broach the matter with the head healer. 

For a few weeks, she saw little of Loki or Lucia, she only really saw them at official even, sitting by one another, but that only made her wonder more as both seemed almost uncomfortable around one another, their personalities were clearly completely at odds. She knew of situations where contrasting personalities seemed to work well together. Her father and his wife were curiously different also, but they had been a political match and seemed content in themselves and seem to have something of a rhythm to their lives that it worked. Her stepmother preferred drawing and sewing, while her father preferred reading and meeting with other warriors to speak, but at home, they would be very content to sit together for hours, with only a few words said between them as they enjoyed their quiet pursuits together, in the one room, which she noticed from even a young age, had a calm and pleasant atmosphere, even at their most silent. Looking at Loki and Lucia once more, she would wager everything she ever owned, they were not similar to her father and stepmother.

*

One afternoon, as she made her way from the gardens, where she had procured some herbs required to make more salve, she heard hushed and angry whispers. 

‘I cannot see why that is an issue, you are supposed to be a prince.’

‘I can’t.’

Immediately, Cara was able to tell who it was she was overhearing. 

‘You are supposed to be a man.’

‘Doing such things does not indicate whether you are a man or not.’ Loki argued. 

‘Thor does it.’

‘That is his business, I don’t want to.’

‘Is it because you don’t find me attractive, is that it? Do I not make you want to? Or is it that women do not excite you in that manner? Is that all I am, a cover for your true nature?’

Cara bit her lips together at what she was hearing. 

‘No, I just….’

‘Why do you hurt me like this, Loki? I love you so much and you do these things to me. I thought you cared about me.’

‘I do...’

‘This is not how you care for someone, this is hurting them. You’re hurting me, Loki. This is telling me I’m not enough, that you do not think me worth it. To share something so special and you won’t do it. How do you think that makes me feel?’

‘I…’

‘Why are you so cruel?’ The sobbing that followed was nothing short of theatre dramatics in Cara’s opinion, and bad theatre dramatics at that before seeing Lucia rush off. She watched as Lucia ran off feigning tears before looking to her side to where Loki was now standing, having clearly begun to chase after Lucia, but coming to a stop on seeing they were not as alone as he thought. 

‘I….Sorry.’

‘It is not something that you need to apologise for, Your Highness.’ Cara dismissed. She looked at the conflict and uncertainty in his face, telling her of his internal turmoil. ‘If I may give some advice, as both a woman and one who works in a health field.’ The look on his face told her he was listening. ‘If one partner does not consent to intimacy, it is the duty of the other to respect that, not guilt the unready one into doing what they want, that is not consent.’

‘But, isn’t that only regarding women?’ Loki replied sheepishly. ‘Men for them and that is rape, it….’

‘It works both ways, you know?’ Cara informed him. ‘Both partners need to consent in any relationship, male and female.’

Loki’s expression became more conflicted by her words. ‘But women cannot force men…’

‘Really?’ Cara challenged. ‘From what I have just witnessed, I would think Lucia is doing a pretty good job at trying to force you, and from what I can see, it seems to be working.’

‘Men…’

‘Are just as worthy of respect as women.’ Cara finished for him. ‘Men have as much right to say no, to not have to feel pressurised and to be able to choose what they wish to do without being accused of using a partner as a way of hiding who they are.’

Loki swallowed as he realised just how much Cara had heard. ‘I….’

‘Also, contrary to what you were just told, declining your partner is not an attack on them or your thoughts of them.’

Loki scoffed at her. ‘And you would know this how? It is not like you have ever had a line of men rushing to court you.’

‘Yet I am the one that knows that both men and women can be coerced into intimacy against their will by their partner.’ She smiled. ‘I rather not have a line of men to court me, if that.’ She pointed to where Lucia had gone. ‘Is what fills this. I am waiting for someone worth my time.’ She bowed slightly and took her leave, not letting Loki say any more on the matter.

*

Cara sat beside her sister as they listened to the father blabber on at their brother's wedding.

‘So, what is new in the world of healing?’ Sif asked, making conversation with her younger sibling.

‘Not much, it tends to be the same few things most days. Though, I see you got a new weapon.’

Sif frowned. ‘How could you possibly know that?’

‘A double-ended sword, right?’ Cara smiled knowingly.

‘No really, how could you possibly know that?’

‘You have sent fifteen men to the healing rooms in a fortnight with injuries that can only be from that and the glare I get when they are asked what happened sort of gives it away.’ She laughed.

‘Sorry.’ Sif did not seem any bit remorseful saying the word. 

‘Don't be, they seem the sort that needed some humbling.’

‘Doesn't that go against your “code” saying something like that?’

‘My code says I have to treat them and I have to respect their privacy, not that I cannot think that some of them actually deserve…’ She cocked her head slightly to the side as she studied what was in front of her.

Realising Cara had gotten sidetracked, Sif turned to see what she was looking at. ‘Is there a reason you are looking at Loki and Lucia like that?’

‘What do you know about her?’

Sif looked at her sister and laughed. ‘Do you not know of her? How absorbed in your studies do you have to be if you do not know who Lady Lucia is?’

‘I am aware of who she is, I just do not know anything about her. You're closer to the princes, so I assume you have at least some knowledge of her.’

‘She's friendly, outgoing and loves a party. She's far too much fun for that mopey prat.’ Sif dismissed. ‘Honestly, you’d think when a girl of her standing and demeanour shows an interest, he would become more outgoing, instead, he seems even more sullen. I cannot fathom why she bothers with him.’

‘The title of Princess of Asgard seems something of a motive. I mean you always talk about the airheads that try their luck with Thor.’

‘No Cara, you don't see how lovely she is to him, it's startling. I heard her the other day speaking with her friend, she is thinking of giving into his want to go away, just the two of them for a week, and you know well what you want that for. She is too giving.’

To Cara, Sif’s words made her mind scream warnings, knowing that Loki, on her last speaking to him a mere few days before, was anything but eager to be intimate with Lucia. And going by the manner by which the prince was sitting, his body leaning towards his brother and not towards his lover, made it seem as though that has not changed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is at Lucas' wedding with Lucia and thinks over a few things in their relationship. When he takes his leave, he gets speaking to Cara for the first time in years in a non-patient/doctor manner and realises she is someone who shares similar interests to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of abusers have a public happy persona and a more sinister private one. Many choose to portray themselves as a person incapable of certain acts, there's a saying for them. "Street Angel, Home Devil". Abusers are often smart, they choose how and when they act in different manners.

Loki bit his tongue. At this stage, he was not sure how he had not bitten through it. Lucia was talking again of them going to Vanaheim for a week to her family home. The one that, at present, was not housing a single other member of her family. It was clear what she wanted but the more adamant she wasn't doing it, the more averse he was to it.

He was not the most romantic but he knew that he wanted to want the first time. He wanted to know the woman he did it with would love him regardless of his fumbling attempts to put what he had read to use. Lucia was not that woman. At first, he thought she would be. She seemed to show genuine interest in him, listening to him, laughing with and not at him. She seemed to enjoy his company, but after they began to become closer, she changed.

It started with slight comments, half under her breath which became more vocal as time passed, then one day, he was delayed meeting her at a meeting with a foreign Lord his father had asked him to entertain. When he finally got to Lucia, whom he had sent a message to, she slapped him across the face for “embarrassing” her. It did not hurt him physically, he was a strong warrior but it did hurt in other ways, it made him feel terrible, as though he did something to deserve it. The next time was when she had lost a friendly competition, it was somehow his fault even though he had nothing to do with it. She called him every manner of name after that and struck him again, and again it did not physically hurt so he just accepted it. Not once during such events did he retort the words or retaliate against her. His mother, father, and tutors always reiterated time and again that a man never raised a hand to a woman. It escalated until she dug her nails into his arms so tightly that they broke the skin. Then she took one of his daggers across his arm when he said no to getting her something. That was the first time that he was worried, and since then it has only gotten worse. He had been worried about Sif’s sister finding out as he knew his brother and his friends would make all manners of insults if the healer mentioned it to her sister. Eir eased his concerned some bit, and insisted that Tyr’s other daughter, he now recalled being named Cara, would say nothing. In the time since then, he suspected that she had not spoken a word of what she had seen to anyone.

He always knew that Sif had a sister, they had been a presence around the palace since he could remember but he knew little else of her. She was not as known as her older sister, though, it was clear that in her own way, she was respected. Eir clearly thought a lot of her and in both instances, he had dealings with her, she had shown she was trustworthy. 

He looked over to the wedding table and was able to find both sisters easily. He watched as Cara spoke with Sif with her hand moving as they aided her to tell the story. When she came to the climax, the pair laughed before Sif rose to her feet, saying her goodbyes and going over to Thor. With Lucia occupied elsewhere, he took a moment to watch Cara and think about what she had said on the previous meeting. Men did seem to find interest in her, some asking her to dance but she declined them all. It was clear that she was far happier in her own company. At one stage, she seemed to realise he was looking at her and gave a faint nod in salute before turning away again and watching the dancing.

Lucia came over after a time and insisted Loki bring her dancing. Reluctantly he did so, and after a few songs, he felt as though his concerns were all in his head as Lucia laughed and smiled at him in a manner that made him think that she did love him as she said she did.

When they ceased, Loki smiled at her happily. ‘ We had better call it a night, I have training to do with the word tomorrow.’

Lucia’s face fell. ‘What?’

‘I explained earlier, about Thor and I having to train tomorrow.’

‘Yes I'm not stupid, I know you told me, what has that got to do with me?’

‘Well, we came together, the protocol is that usually….’

‘I'm not stopping you from going, why are you trying to be so controlling?’

Loki's stomach sank.. ‘No, it's nothing like that….. I would never do such a thing, I just…. of course if you wish to stay, you should.’

Immediately, Lucia’s demeanour altered completely again. ‘Great, bye.’ She kissed him on the cheek and walked off, grabbing something to drink as she passed a waiter before sitting with some of the ladies of the court.

Loki went and bid farewell to the bride and groom before excusing himself, not entirely certain of how he should react to what he was just involved in.

‘Going so soon? Norns you're more dedicated than most, Prince Loki.’

He turned to see Tyr behind him. ‘Yes, I fear what Bjorn has in store for us, I wish to be prepared.’ he chuckled

Tyr laughed in return. ‘He's a right sticker alright but a good warrior. He’ll keep you all in the straight and narrow.’

‘I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not.’ Loki joked. 

‘No, it does not seem that way when you are going through it.’ Tyr acknowledged. ‘Ah, Cara.’ Loki turned to see Cara standing a respectful distance back. ‘Are you off to bed, as well?’

‘Yes, I told Eir that I would assist her with the sparring in the morning since Sif is more than likely the main person that will maim everyone, it seems only fair to help deal with her carnage.’

Tyr erupted and laughter. ‘You're incredibly witty. Prince Loki, I'm not sure if you remember my youngest, Cara.’

‘We've met a few times.’ Loki confirmed.

‘I did not think you want to require her expertise too often.’

‘Not at all, I rarely ever see his Highness at all, much less in the healing rooms.’ Cara smiled. ‘Though according to Sif, his swiftness and abilities are the reason for such.’

‘You have no idea, he is terrifying to behold.’

‘Are you more of an assassin than a warrior, Prince Loki?’

‘An excellent analogy of him.’ Tyr declared.

‘Perhaps.’ Loki gave a polite smile.

‘It is good to know we are on the same side, then.’ She gave a polite smile in return before looking at her father. ‘Did Mother give you that book?’ she checked

‘Yes.’ Tyr pulled out a small book from his robe. ‘Machiavelli, an odd name.’

‘It's brilliant, I promise.’ His daughter guaranteed.

‘I will let you know what I think. I best be off.’ Tyr gave a loving smile as his daughter went into her toes and kiss his cheek. ‘ I bid goodnight to you both.’ He turned to give Loki a slight bow before leaving. 

‘Have you actually read Machiavelli?’ Loki asked somewhat startled when they were alone.

‘I have, it is an excellent piece of his work. Midgard has some wonderful literature, don't you think?’ Her smile was more animated than any he had seen her give before.

‘I agree, are you familiar with the Odyssey?’

‘I am. I am a fan of more modern works though, I mean, it's not Shakespeare.’

‘You….you have read Shakespeare?’ Loki's eyes widened.

‘I cannot go to sleep without a sonnet.’ She confessed.

Loki looked her up and down in awe. ‘Which….?’

‘Oh, don't you dare asked me to select a favourite, I could not possibly choose.’ she laughed.

Loki's eyes why didn't even more. ‘Amazing.’

‘How so?’

‘I…’ Loki's animated and excited face dropped, he did not want to speak ill of Lucia and her lack of love for literature of the same calibre of his own preferences. ‘Nevermind.’

‘Perhaps, when we have more time and free schedules in the future we could discuss this further?’ She offered. ‘I rarely get a fellow Midgardian literary enthusiast to speak with.’

‘Perhaps.’ Loki smiled once more, genuinely excited at such a thought. ‘Can I ask you somethingodd, does your father genuinely…’

‘Yes?’

‘Does he mind that you are doing a profession?’

‘Why would my father have an issue with my having a profession?’ she laughed.

‘Well, you are a Duke's daughter.’

‘Such things do not particularly matter in the healing rooms. Eir is, after all, very distantly related to the Allmother.’

‘What about you having a family, your brother is now wed and with Sif and...well.’

‘I will find someone sooner or later.’ Her confidence startled him. ‘Sif keeps joking that if I receive a patient she has stabbed in the leg with a dagger left in, then she has found someone she thinks worthy of my time.’ She laughed.

‘Any so far?’

‘Not yet, perhaps tomorrow.’ She shrugged. ‘Goodnight, my prince. I hope you have a wonderful evening and please do not feel the need to add to my sister's casualty toll too greatly tomorrow.’ 

Loki chuckled. ‘I will endeavour to keep it in the single figures.’

‘The most I could ever ask for. Have a wonderful evening.’ She smiled as she bowed before turning to leave.

‘Goodnight.’ He watched her leave, startled by her being interested in the same things as himself and also intrigued that throughout their entire conversation, she had the same cheerful and pleasant demeanour, her attitude and tone did not alter once as Lucia was prone to doing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time goes by and Cara is forced to bear witness to more of Loki's torment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with before, more angst, abuse and even attempted drugging to assist in a rape. Yes, this is such a lovely fic, isn't it?
> 
> Also a lot of abusive phrases and terms here also.

Cara hummed to herself as she organised her workstation. With her exams passed, she was officially a healer, much to her and indeed her family’s delight.

When she heard the door to the healing rooms open, she walked out of her office, only to find that the healing rooms were empty. ‘Hello?’But nobody was there to respond. She was going to continue her work, but a feeling in her gut told her something was amiss, so she walked out of the healing rooms and looked both directions in the hallway. There was nothing and indeed no one in either direction bar two guards on patrol on the far end of the corridor, their backs to her, talking as they patrolled. She continued to listen to the feeling in her gut and went to a door halfway back down the hall, knocking on it once before she opened it. She was half worried as to what she would find on doing so, and of all the sights she was expecting, Loki looking at her, both afraid and in pain was not something she had expected to see. ‘My Prince?’

‘I…’ Shame engulfed his features. ‘I did not wish to bother you.’

‘Not at all, that is what we are here for, how can I assist you?’

‘It does not matter.’

‘Your pained features say otherwise. Please, My Prince, let me help you. If you are concerned, I can give you my word, nothing you say here will be spoken of with others.’

Cara expected him to say or do something to reveal what was ailing him. What she had not expected was for his eyes to well with tears. With immense shame in his face, he rolled up his sleeve, wincing in pain as he did so. Cara had to force herself not to gasp as she bore witness to what was shown to her. 

His arm was severely blistered. The skin as raw and oddly shaped. It took Cara a few moments to think of where she had seen such markings before. 

‘I had something of an accident.’ He stated. 

Cara walked forward towards him slowly and took his hand gently before inspecting the wound, ensuring she did not touch it. She said nothing as she noted the depth and severity of the burns. 

Loki tried to pull his arm away from her again as he noted how much attention she was paying to them. ‘I should not have come.’

‘You very much should have. This needs to be cleaned and tended to.’

‘Forget about it.’

‘It will get scarred or worse, infected if it is left.’ She argued. 

‘It’s fine.’

‘I disagree.’

‘Is that in your *professional* opinion?’

‘Yes. as a fully trained and qualified healer, I do believe this wound can and will get worse without proper treatment. If you do not allow me to treat it, I will be forced to inform Eir as the senior Healer.’

‘But you’re not allowed to tell anyone.’ Loki stated almost frantically. 

‘No, I cannot run to my sister, or talk about this is the food hall, but I am allowed inform Eir for two reasons, one being she is the one that oversees my work to ensure I am doing alright even now that I am qualified, but also, secondly, because should this come to get infected, I could be up for neglect of my duties if I was found to not report it. I have to cover my own ass here too. If I record it with her, I have done everything I can and will not be reprimanded.’ She explained. ‘She is bound to say nothing of what I reveal to her either. Although, should it be of a severity that you or another are at risk of death, I am permitted to tell only the relevant beings.’ 

‘How so?’

‘Well, if a maid came in and was discussing a plot to harm a cook while I was dealing with another issue, I can inform the Einherjar as to her plot, though not to her issue which caused her to be in the healing rooms. Also if I think a person is at risk of attempting to kill themselves, I have to inform Eir and then, their immediate family. These are oaths by which I am bound.’

‘What about assaults?’

‘For those, I am obliged to give an accurate account of my patient’s care and their general health, mental and physical. But that is all official and only after they press charges or if charges are pressed for them. Anyone that is sexually assaulted, all I can do is encourage them to speak to an Einherjar, I cannot tell on them.’

‘Really?’ 

‘No.’she shook her head.

‘Has there ever been…?’

‘Once, in my second year.’

‘Can you even tell me that?’

‘Yes, I and tell you numbers and treatments but I cannot tell you anything that will allow you to ascertain as to who it is.’

‘I see.’ Loki looked down at his arm and found she had been working on getting the fibres of his sleeve out of the wounds as they had been speaking. ‘Have you…?’

‘I like to call that my distraction technique.’ She smiled. ‘It’s bad. I need to bring you to the healing rooms and….’

‘No.’ He pulled his arm back.

‘I needed to treat it.’

‘I can't….’

Cara thought for a moment. ‘Inform the guards in the Royal wing that you have a healer coming. With having seen the wounds, I know what is required. I will meet you there.’ She offered. ‘No healing rooms, just your own quarters.’

‘Thank you.’

‘It's what I'm here for.’ She smiled kindly. When he left, she sighed as the smile fell from her face before she rubbed her hands over it, not knowing how to deal with the situation fully. She knew those burns, she saw them a lot with maids and such but never that severe. She had only seen them from momentary contact before, that was prolonged. She did not know what to do. Part of her felt it would be best to check with Eir.

She rushed back into the healing rooms and grab what you needed before putting them in a healer’s kit.

‘A call out?’ She turned to see Eir looking at her. ‘I am not sure you should do those quite yet, Cara.’

‘It's just hair iron burn.’ She smiled holding up the particular burn salve that only worked on that sort of burn that she was about to put in the bag.

Eir’s concerned face became calmer. ‘That's fine I thought you were getting ahead of yourself.’

‘No, not yet.’ Cara laughed. 

Eir smiled proudly. ‘You are an incredible healer, Cara. You will go so far because you know your limits, you work within them and learn how to expand them.’

‘Thank you. I better go deal with my patient.’

‘I need you to assist me when you return. I think there is a discrepancy in some of the medicines.’

‘Oh?’ That piqued Cara’s interest. Only qualified healers could access certain medicines, they were often locked by seidr, something not easily tricked.

‘There seems to be some “Dragons Breath” potion missing.’

‘I see.’ At first, Cara was curious as to why Eir would discuss such a sensitive issue so openly if there were potions missing, but considering the potion, she knew the issue was not one of the healers that took it. ‘Do you think….?’

‘I'd imagine some poor man is too embarrassed to admit his performance issues and is just not willing to have it known.’ Eir dismissed. 

‘Well, someone is in for a pleasant weekend.’ Cara joked and she wants to the door. ‘We could have our suspect if we see someone walking as though saddle sore after it.’ Eir erupted and laughter as her former apprentice left the room.

When she got to the Royal Hallway, the guards knew to expect her. It was easy to establish which room was the one she required. The guards opened the door for her as she came to it. inside, Loki’s hand servant looked at her. ‘Good afternoon, Alfred.’

‘Healer Cara,’ he nodded. ‘The prince will be out momentarily.’

‘Excellent.’ she looked around. ‘ Where can I put my supplies. He will need to be sitting.’

‘Over here I suppose.’ Alfred indicated to a table. ‘If I am honest, I am somewhat surprised to see you here.’

‘How so?’ Cara asked as she began to take out what she would need.

‘I have not seen a woman outside of the Allmother or Lady Lucia enter these rooms in almost a year, even female staff are no longer permitted.’

Cara bit her tongue, not trusting herself to say much. ‘I see.’

‘Thank you, Alfred, can I ask for you to leave us?’ The healer and the hand servant looked around to see Loki in comfortable attire behind them.

‘Of course, your Highness.’ Alfred bowed dutifully and left.

‘Hello.’ Cara responded by giving a kind smile and nod. ‘Thank you for this.’

‘Of course, my Prince, I am only too happy to assist.’

‘You are dedicated to your vocation.’

‘It is more than simply that. I enjoy speaking with people.’ She explained before indicating for him to sit across from her. ‘I will need you to take off your tunic for this. Your sleeve will be in the way otherwise.’

With one wave of his hand, he was shirtless in front of her. if he thought that would get a reaction, he was mistaken. Cara only focused on his arm, and that alone. The entire way through the process, she listed the ingredients of the salve and their purpose and how to change the bandage. By the end of it, Loki had spoken very little and had not been made feel the least bit uncomfortable. 

‘Any questions?’

‘None, you were very thorough.’ 

‘You are a good patient, you remain still, some can be worse than eels trying to wriggle away.’ Cara complimented him, getting another length of bandage to wrap his arm. 

She had barely begun unwrapping it around his arm when the door to the rooms opened. Immediately, Loki stiffened. 

‘And what is this?’

Cara said nothing, instead of focusing on the job she had still to do, though she did gently rub his hand in it comforting manner.

‘I'm just getting that wound cleaned.’ Loki explained.

‘Oh, that little thing. Honestly, you make the biggest fusses out of nothing. I have suffered far worse than that. Why is your servant not here?’

‘He needed to get his lunch.’

‘He should not leave you when you are not alone. Here you are, alone with a healer, it is utterly scandalous and you only half dressed. If anyone was to hear such things.’

‘Healers tend to require quiet surroundings when dealing with patients. To not do so may impact on the privacy of their work.’

‘Why is this not being done in the healing rooms?’ Lucia demanded.

‘There is a case of the utmost privacy at present within them. All non-emergencies are being delayed until it is dealt with. Because of the severity of his Highness's wounds, it was deemed an emergency so I was asked to come here to deal with it.’ Cara gave the other woman her a polite smile.

‘I see.’ Lucia was unimpressed by it all. ‘Well, it is not proper for a man in a loving relationship to hide women in his rooms. I should have been called.’ Lucia looked at Loki accusingly. ‘Why don’t you want me to be in your life fully, Loki. you say you love me...but…?’ Lucia began to cry. 

‘If your Ladyship does not mind, I need to explain to my patient how to treat this wound, so if you would be so good as to bring your banshee wails elsewhere.’

Lucia looked at Cara in disbelief. ‘I am being abused by my supposed partner and that is all you have to say?’

‘I am trying to deal with a significant physical injury. One that, should it be not treated correctly, result in a dangerous infection such are the severity of the wounds, that is my priority, not perceived wrongs by someone who should not be concerned with themselves at this moment in time but about their injured partner, I do not have time for those who cannot see past themselves.’ Cara growled, not even looking at Lucia who stood with her mouth agape. ‘Your Highness, I will have more salve delivered to you tomorrow, or you can have Alfred come to the healing rooms to retrieve it.’

‘Yes, thank you.’

‘Do not move it around too much this evening. Do nothing strenuous.’ She instructed. 

‘Of course, thank you again.’

‘It is my duty to serve the House of Odin.’ Cara bowed. 

‘Yes, well….’ Lucia gave her a look that seemed to accurately display her dislike for the healer. ‘Loki, have a drink.’ She rushed over to a crystal goblet she had brought with her that had been abandoned on a table by the door when she realised that Loki was not alone in his rooms. 

Cara frowned as she realised there was something just not right about the contents of the goblet. When she realised why she felt uneasy, she swallowed and forced herself to think quick. ‘Hydration, for the next day or so, is integral to your recovery. Water is best, is that water?’ She pointed to the goblet. 

‘Yes, and some flavouring herbs.’ Lucia smiled politely. 

‘Do you know which ones? Certain ones can react terribly with what has been given to His Highness for his pain management.’

I…’

‘If you are not entirely certain, then I cannot, as his Highness’ caregiver, recommend that he takes it.’ She looked at Loki as she spoke, pleading with him via her eyes for him to understand what she was trying to say. 

‘No, that is understandable, I will take just normal water. I don’t want to negate the healing herbs.’ He bolted to his own jug that was kept in his room. ‘Citrus rind is alright, I hope?’

‘Yes, it is.’ Cara nodded. 

‘Fine.’ Lucia snapped. ‘I tried to be nice, I think of you and this is how you thank me.’ She began to weep again. ‘I just can't take this anymore, Loki. I can't.’ She rushed from the room weeping into his bedchamber.

Loki looked at the table in front of him in shame. His gaze going to his hand when he realised there was something on it. He looked at the hand on his before looking up at Cara. ‘I'm sorry.’

‘Don’t, this is not your doing.’ She dismissed for what seemed like the millionth time.

‘What is wrong with the water?’ He whispered, pointing to the goblet.

‘Has Lucia been able to break your resolve regarding laying with her yet?’ Cara kept her voice as low as Loki had his. Loki swallowed, he did not answer but his uninjured arm unconsciously went to his injured one, telling her why he received his most recent wounding. ‘There is a vial missing from the healing rooms. The potion within is called “dragons breath” because it makes the drinker feel hot as though they are like a dragon about to breathe fire, and the main ingredient of it is small fragments of the dragon flower stem which is dried, and when it dries, it hardens and tends to look like….’ She pointed to the Goblet, the small of brown stick shapes in it still floating around the goblet.

‘Oh, and what does…?’

‘It's a…. shall we call it a “motivational’ potion. It is for erectile dysfunction and is known to make the drinker very amorous.’ Loki's eyes widened. ‘Please, just say the word, let me help you.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘If anyone knew.’

‘A macho bravado is not a valid reason to allow anyone treat you like this.’ 

‘You don't understand.’

‘Do you really think being a man is allowing yourself to be a pushover?’

‘No.’

‘You will not fight back, you're too much of a gentleman.’

‘Men do not strike women.’

‘No, good men do not do such things, but neither should a woman ever strike a man.’

‘She has not….’

Cara indicated to his arm. ‘It never starts like this, it starts smaller. A small slap across the face maybe, even a clip across the back of the hand, never sore at first, that is how they test if they can get away with it, if you said anything, they can make it seem like you are completely overreacting. It never starts by forcibly pressing a hot hair iron to your partner's arm.’ Loki swallowed as he realised she had known well what caused his wounds ‘I know a hair iron burn when I see one.’ He lowered his head in shame. ‘You don’t deserve this, my Prince.’

‘I….’

‘Just say the word.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘Her father is an ambassador.’

‘And your father is the King and Allfather, not that this is relevant to the situation, who gives a damn who her father is? And forgetting who is whose father for a moment, think about you. You deserve happiness. You do not deserve to be attacked for saying no. You do not deserve a potion being forced upon you without your knowledge that prevents you from being able to consent,’ Cara inhaled deeply to calm herself before she came to a decision. ‘I am here if you need me.’ She gave a slightly forced smile. She then packed her kit away. ‘Have a pleasant day, my Prince.’ Bowing slightly, she left. 

As soon as the room’s door closed again, Loki’s bedchambers door opened. Loki had to inhale deeply before turning around. Lucia’s makeup was smudged from her tears but it was clear, it was not sadness that did not fill her features, but anger. ‘A woman, here alone with you? How could you, I thought you loved me?’ She snapped. 

‘I…’

‘I only asked you not to have women in your rooms because of how it hurts me and you cannot even do that.’

‘She is just a healer.’

‘I bet you did not tell her what happened?’

‘No’

‘Of course not, if you had, she would know how horribly cruel you are, how you ensure you make me feel ugly and unlovable by never showing me affection. She would not be so nice to you then. Or is it you are more interested in her, is that it? Norns, look what you're doing to me, you are making me seem mad. Making me question everything, making me suspicious, I don't want to be like this. You are making me like thing. Look at what you are doing to me. Look what you made me do.’

‘It is as she said, there was an issue in the healing rooms, nothing more.’

‘It better be, because if you dare think I will be some fool for you….. I could have anyone I want. I get told that all the time. Yet here I am, I choose to love you.’ Loki swallowed. ‘Just drink that drink I made. I only did it to be nice.’

‘Yes….I...Where is it?’ Loki looked around for the goblet, noticing it was no longer anywhere to be seen.

Eir heard a knock on her office door. ‘Enter.’ Cara walked in looking uncertain. ‘Yes, Dear?’

‘Eir, I need to speak to you about something.’

‘Of course, sit down.’

Cara did as instructed. ‘I need to tell you something, I need your guidance and expertise.’ Her hesitation was blatant. 

‘Is it regarding a patient?’ Cara nodded. ‘You can tell me, Cara. A problem shared is a problem halved. We are bound by the same oath, anything that is said here instead between two professionals attempting to care for a patient as best we can.’ 

Cara inhales deeply and placed the Goblet on the table. ‘There is something most foul afoot Eir, and I need to help him.’

Eir recognised the “Dragons Breath” immediately. ‘I'm listening.’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara waits for Alfred to come for Loki's fresh bandages, but he does not arrive, causing her to go to his rooms and hear more of Lucia's less than delightful words. The next day, she gets someone to her rooms, someone in need of help. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS *More abuse and mentions of past raped and abuse causing miscarriage and suicide in this chapter*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More warnings for this chapter, verbal and physical abuse and mentions of past rape and abuse of a female partner causing miscarriage and suicide, because sadly, there is a lot of horrific things in the world and I chose this as a story to write. 
> 
> * - Shakespeare's sonnet is added underneath.

Though she knew it was the right thing to do, Cara felt guilty. It was required if she wanted to look after him. Loki was a good being, he did not deserve it. Eir gave her advice and support with assisting her further if Cara felt she needed her ear and advice again. She also told her to take note of everything to do with it in case it was required later.

The next day, Alfred did not come to the healers' rooms for fresh bandages and salve. By evening, Cara was getting worried. When she finished her usual jobs, she got what she required and informed Eir that she had to do a call before setting off with a promise to return soon.

The guards let her through without issue into the Royal hallway. It was when she arrived at Loki's chambers that she was supposed to wait for consent to enter. Alfred opened the door looking anything but pleased. ‘I should warn you…’ He began as he made room for her to enter the room.

‘It's fine.’ Cara walked over to the table which she had sat at the day before assisting Loki. She had barely gotten to the table when the noise began to become clearly audible. She bit her lips together as the tirade became more and more vicious. After a couple minutes, it did not seem to be ceasing or settling down any bit and having become irate by what she was hearing. She decided to step in. Inhaling deeply, she walked to the door that separated the two rooms and knocked on it confidently.

It was Lucia who opened the door, wearing only some lingerie and Loki's overcoat. ‘Yes?’ Her eyes widened when she realised who was there. ‘What do you want?’

‘The prince is due a bandage change and there is a woman in labour that I have been asked to return to assist on, so may he come out, it will not take long.’

Lucia gave her a momentary angered look before moving slightly. Loki walked past and sat at the table wearing only a pair of pants. He extended his arm dutifully without being asked. He said nothing as she worked on it, Lucia standing over them, watching intently.

Cara said nothing as she worked. More than once she felt him looking at her but she did not return his glance, partly in guilt but also partly because she was angry ask him for not sticking to his own wishes. ‘There.’ She stated. ‘I assume you forgot to send Alfred to the healing rooms, so in case you forget again, I will simply leave some extra bandages and salve here. I need to be available for others, especially when babies are insisting on being born at all sorts of hours, not that they can help it of course.’ she joked. ‘I will let you get back to your evening.’ She rose to leave and finally looked at Loki, feeling her heartbreak at his blatant unhappiness. He begged her with his eyes to stay but without him saying anything, there was nothing she could do. ‘Is there anything else?’

‘No.’ Lucia snapped. ‘Now if you don't mind, we were in the middle of something.’

‘I gathered.’ Cara looked them up and down. ‘My Prince, can I assist you any further?’ SHe asked, giving him the opportunity to say something.

‘No, thank you.’ He mumbled.

‘Very well, good evening.’ Cara walked out of the room without another word or glance back.

*

‘Well?’ She turned to see Eir cleaning her hands having delivered Lady Ramona’s daughter.

‘Fine.’ Cara dismissed, tidying herself up after assisting. 

‘Cara?’ Eir prodded, seeing the anger in the younger woman’s eyes.

‘Please, I just need to finish my notes.’

‘I think you need to talk.’

‘I think I don’t.’

‘Cara?’

‘Why...What madness comes into play when an intelligent and educated man defies the logic of leaving someone so truly horrid?’

‘We cannot say for sure.’ Eir confessed. ‘What happened?’

‘He gave in to her request and allowed her to force him to bed….but if you only saw his face…’

‘Do you think it to be rape?’

‘Honestly, I believe so, yes. He does not want it.’

‘Are you going to reveal his name to me?’

I can't, not until he asks me to help. You and I both know this.’

‘I know it is frustrating.’

‘I became a healer to help people, yet here I stand, watching this shipwreck as though it is in slow motion and I cannot do anything. I'm only permitted to watch while I bear witness to utter carnage.’

‘I know.’ Eir sighed. ‘It goes against our very beings. I remember a girl, I was less than a century in this profession, she got pregnant from a foolish fumble with an older man who used her naivety to trap her, that we suspect, at least. She was so innocent, I remember the shock on her face as being told that she was to be a mother, she had no idea how it even happened. She was married within in the week. Well, the baby came, a little girl, big enough for a first child. The mother was not particularly dainty but good sized child regardless.’ Eir inhaled before she spoke again and when she exhaled, it was almost shaky. ‘He had her back in the healing rooms two weeks later suffering from damage. He did not even wait for her to heal properly after the birth. She was pregnant again within the year. I told the head healer, we did everything we could within our constraints. She had twelve pregnancies, seven daughters and five miscarriages.’

‘What happened in the end?’

‘She started coming to check up with bruises in the shape of hand marks. Every time we told her it was a girl, she shook and she cried. Three of the miscarriages occurred within the first two days of the revealing of the gender. She had such a difficult life. And her parents all but ignored her because of the “shame” she had brought them. She loves her children but it became too much.’

‘How old was she?’

‘She was barely scraping nine hundred when I diagnosed her first pregnancy. She was not even twelve hundred when I pronounced her death from jumping from the highest balcony she could access.’

‘Norns.’

‘I begged her, I begged her so often let me help her. But she refused.’

‘I…’ Cara could not bare Loki doing something similar.

‘Try and get him to ask for help, Cara. Whoever this boy is, try and get him to see sense.’

‘’And if I can't?’

‘One of the hardest realisations you will ever come to in this life is that we cannot save everyone.’

‘I just feel so conflicted.’

‘How so?’

‘I am not particularly sure. How am I supposed to respect boundaries when such foul crimes are being committed? It is so wrong to be in such a position.’

‘Help him see that.’

‘He thinks men cannot be the victim.’ 

Eir shook her head. ‘Men are more often the perpetrator but they are as able to be the victim too. Try and help him see that.’

‘I will try.’

*

It was while she was writing more patient notes late the next day when Cara heard the door of the healing room open. She paid little heed to it as there were other healers still in the ward. 

‘Excuse me, where would I find Healer Cara?’

‘Her office is the third on the right.’ Amelia, a new apprentice directed. 

‘Thank you.’

Cara put away the notes she had readied for whoever was about to arrive. Oddly, the same feeling she experienced in her gut before came to her again. She rose from her chair and walked over to the door before the man on the other side could even knock. ‘Oh’.

‘Alfred, is everything alright?’ She asked worriedly as she let him in. ‘Is the Prince having an issue with the bandage?’ Her voice was low until she closed the door to ensure Loki’s privacy. As soon as it clicked shut, she raised her voice to a more normal level. ‘You can speak freely now, these rooms are protected to ensure confidentiality.’ 

‘When you arrived yesterday…’

Cara inhaled. ‘Yes?’

‘I…’ She cocked her head slightly. With a shaking breath, Alfred glowed green and turned to Loki. 

‘Oh, wow.’ Cara had not expected that 

‘I’m sorry.’

‘What for?

‘What you witnessed.’

‘I came back here, and within ten minutes of my returning, Lady Ramona accidentally had her birthing sac rupture on me as I aided Eir during the labour, I can assure you, I am very much aware of intimacy and indeed, its repercussions.’ She dismissed. 

‘Are you allowed tell me that? I thought you were bound to secrecy?’ Loki questioned. 

Cara looked at him, confused. ‘Lord Henry declared it to a full dining room last evening after dinner and again at breakfast and lunch today that after two boys, he finally gave his beloved Ramona the daughter she yearned for so greatly. It is more public knowledge now than knowing that your father is the Allfather. I suspect he has even gone and told that stray cat that dallies outside the kitchens at this stage.’ She laughed as she sat behind her desk again

‘Oh...I thought…’

‘I respect all of my patient’s privacy.’ Her tone revealed her disapproval of such a thought. 

‘I just...how?’

‘How what?’

‘How do I do it?’

‘Do what?’ Cara walked around her desk, begging to herself that what she suspected he was trying to say was, in fact, the words he was trying to get out. 

‘Get her to stop?’

‘You can’t, only she can stop her. She has to choose to stop.’

‘I need…’

‘You need to end it. She is not good for you, My Prince.’ She took his hand in hers. 

‘But I will never find someone to love me again.’

‘This is not love.’ Cara explained in a sympathetic voice. ‘We do not hurt those we love. We do not make them feel that they are a burden or not worthy of our time and love. She does not love you.’ She declared. ‘You deserve love, someone who, when she sees you, her whole face brightens up, who respects you, who…’ she paused and looked at Loki, who was fighting back tears. ‘My Prince?’ She did it to comfort him. She reached up and went to put her hand to his cheek but he winced and drew back before she even touched him. She felt herself fighting back her own tears as she noticed how scared he was. ‘You do not deserve to fear the touch of another.’

As his resolve broke, Cara noticed his right eye become severely bloodshot. Seeing her concern, Loki lifted the spell that he placed on himself. Cara’s eyes widened as his face changed from pale perfect skin to a mottled swollen mess. ‘I….I couldn’t...perform.’

Cara’s heart broke. ‘Loki…’

‘I always…..I wanted it to be on my terms, with someone I...who made me want to, but I couldn’t and she…’

‘That is how you don’t know about Lord Henry and Lady Ramona’s daughter, you were hiding.’

‘I am a coward.’

‘No, no my Prince, you are no such thing, cease that thought right now. You do not deserve this, you did nothing to deserve any of it.’ She gently brought her hand to the side of his face that was not injured. Startled at first, Loki did not know how to react but a moment later, he leant into her touch. ‘We all just want to be loved. There is no shame in that.’

‘You don’t have anyone.’

‘I don’t entertain thoughts of those I do not think will make me happy.’ She explained. ‘I will find my Prince, when the time's right, I will settle for nothing else. I rather be alone than be someone who I don’t feel I could love fully, it’s not right.’ 

‘Help me.’ She looked at him. ‘Please.’ 

‘Do you want to just get away from her or do you want to press charges?’

‘I just want to be free.’

‘We’ll think of something.’ She promised, putting her hand on his, gently squeezing it. ‘When was the last time you felt good about you?’ 

‘I can hardly remember.’

‘Do what makes you happy Loki, be happy.’

‘She will not accept it.’ 

‘And you should not accept her not accepting it. We can only be responsible for us.’

Loki could not help but feel sceptical of her words. ‘Can I talk to you?’

‘Of course, we are talking now.’ She smiled. 

‘No, just normal talking, please.’

Cara thought of the work she still had to complete, as well as her tiredness from a long tedious day before smiling again. ‘Sonnet Twenty-seven.’ Loki’s brows furrowed. ‘Today, that would be my sonnet of choice.’ 

Loki flicked through the words in his head and smiled back. ‘That’s a good one.’ Then his smile fell. ‘I am not stopping you leaving, am I?’ He began to turn for the door. 

‘Not at all.’ Cara fibbed ‘What about you?’

‘No, I had sent word that I was a little ill so no one has bothered me...oh, you mean the sonnets, I guess….I can’t remember.’

Cara gave a small laugh. ‘Well, we can talk more on it when you do.’ She offered. 

‘I would like that.’ 

Cara was about to speak again when there was a knock on the door. She walked over and opened it slightly. ‘Yes?’ Her voice was polite.

‘Healer Eir gave this to me and said that it was for your eyes only.’

‘Thank you, Amelia.’ She smiled, taking the file, ensuring the apprentice could not see who the other occupant of the room was. She noted the awkward manner in which Amelia was looking at her. ‘Can I do anything else for you?’ 

‘At the back of the file is my consent for that requires signing to allow me…’

‘I was under the impression that you are to follow Healer Amie?’

‘Yes, but she is away this week and I checked, any qualified healer can sign it and it…’

‘Is due tomorrow.’ Cara noted the date that is was supposed to be returned by the following day. ‘I see. I promise I will have it logged tonight.’

‘Thank you, Healer Cara.’

‘No problem, now, I have a patient that needs me here, I will be out to you soon.’

‘Of course, I'm sorry to have disturbed you.’ Amelia rushed off.

Cara walked back in and placed the form and her document file and the file in a drawer within her desk. ‘My apologies.’

‘Why did you become a healer?’ Loki asked curiously. ‘Tyr is incredibly wealthy, you don't need to work.’

‘No one becomes a healer for financial gain, trust me.’ Cara laughed. ‘I have wanted to be one since I was a child. Father came home for the battle on Nidavellir having received several bad wounds. I watched as Healer May, she was the old head healer before Eir, tended to him. She asked me if I wanted to help, I think she just wanted to calm my anxiousness at him being wounded but I loved every moment of it. I decided then I would become one. It became my goal just as my sister's one was to become a warrior. well, she wanted to be a Valkyrie but they're all gone so she settled for looking for trouble with Thor and his other friends under the guise of being a warrior instead.’

Loki chuckled at what he would describe as an accurate description of Thor and his friends galavanting. ‘And what about Lucas?’

‘Lucas always loved inter-realm relations. When father stepped down from the army and took a more political and diplomatic role, Lucas decided when watching him but that is what he wished for too.’

‘You are all very happy.’

‘What would you like to do?’

‘Travel, and study in Vanaheim and Alfheim for a century or two, broaden my seidr.’

‘Why don’t you?’

‘Lucia….’

‘She is not relevant in this.’

‘She said it was stupid, that I should just be more like Thor.’ There was a clear bitterness in his tone. 

‘Does she often compare you to your brother?’

‘Yes, she does. Apparently, he would not be so….’

Cara took his hand as she had done many times before. ‘It’s alright.’

‘I am not as good as him.’

‘You are not Thor, you are Loki, and you are as good as Thor. Maybe not at the same things but you are as valid as he is, never forget that.’

‘You always say these things, these words to lift a being.’

‘You need to hear them but I believe them also.’

‘Of all the beings, why are you so nice to me?’

‘I am nice to all my patients. My role is to tend to your wellbeing in every way. I remember when we were growing up, you were always your own being. I have always liked our interactions, as infrequent as they were while we were younger.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, I always found you to very interesting to speak with or when you were speaking to Lucas, as the case was. We have a similar taste in literature, I find myself enjoying and looking forward to my time speaking with you on certain matters.’ Loki’s eyes brightened significantly at her words. 

It was past midnight when Cara crashed onto her bed. Loki had stayed in her office for a few hours, then with her notes and ensuring Amelia’s forms were sent, she was very much tempted to sleep in her office, but instead, she forced herself to her bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shakespeare sonnet #27
> 
> Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,  
> The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;  
> But then begins a journey in my head,   
> To work my mind, when body's work's expired:  
> For then my thoughts (from far where I abide)   
> Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,   
> And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,   
> Looking on darkness which the blind do see:   
> Save that my soul's imaginary sight   
> Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,  
> Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,   
> Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.  
>  Lo, thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,  
>  For thee, and for myself, no quiet find.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara goes to the Healing Rooms for work the next day, by lunch, she is forced to deal with a fallout she was not expecting.

Cara groaned as she forced herself into the healing rooms the next morning. She ignored the gossips that were tittering around the hallways as they so often did when something in some way “scandalous” occurred at the palace. Cara had of yet, not heard them ever discuss an actual interesting piece of news. When she sat at her desk, she recall the file from the night before that she had received from Eir, so she took it out and read it. Sure enough, the contents of the goblet were confirmed to be “Dragon’s Breath” and the goblet was being held in case it was required for further testing. Sitting back, she sighed and processed everything before focusing on what was required to get through the day.

By lunch, Cara still felt tired and had still not spoken to anyone, hiding in her office for a large portion of the day doing paperwork. She forced herself to get some food but quickly retreated back to the healing rooms. When she returned to them, she noticed an odd din. There in the middle of it, as she always seemed to be in any given situation, was Lucia, crying and wailing. Cara looked at her curiously before walking towards Amelia and asking her what has happened.

‘Apparently, Prince Loki has been abusing the poor girl.’ The apprentice told her. ‘Calling her terrible things and using his seidr to hurt her but not need any marks.’

Cara’s eyes widened, she looked at Lucia for a moment, seeing the same false tears as she had seen the girl do before. She turned and rushed towards the offices to speak with Eir. just as she came to Eir’s door, it opened. ‘The ambassador wants to press charges, we have to assess everything, we need to check her over fully.’

Eir stood listening to the Einherjar. ‘Of course, something this….Cara? Can I help you?’

‘Eir, I needed to speak with you, immediately.’

‘I am afraid it will have to wait. There is a matter most foul to deal with at this moment. I know you understand.’

‘Yes, I know. Eir, the situation I alerted you to, it’s this one.’ 

‘What do you mean?’

‘The issues and accusations being made right now in your Healing Rooms are the ones of the situation I told you about, only it is the wrong partner making them.’ Cara repeated, her words slow and clear. 

Eir frowned for a moment as she tried to compute everything Cara was saying before her eyes widened in realisation ‘Oh.’

‘Can someone please tell me what is going on?’ The Einherjar asked. 

‘Cara, have you all your notes logged?’ Eir checked. 

‘Dated and everything.’ she confirmed.

‘Why with this all come out in this manner now?’

‘He came to my office last night, finally, he asked for help. I told him that we would think of something but he must have gone ahead with it. He seemed very determined on his leaving.’ 

‘Alright, you get your files, I will get mine; and Johann, could you please get everyone involved in one room.’

‘Am I permitted to ask why?’

Eir looked at Cara who bit her lips together before nodding. ‘I will explain fully on the way.’

‘Very well.’

Cara paid no more heed to the Einherjar as she rushed into her office and retrieved the files that were necessary. When she left to leave the healing rooms again, Lucia was nowhere to be seen and most of the staff were talking about the matter at hand. She ignored them and walked into the hallway as fast as she could.

‘Healer Cara, correct?’ She turned to look at the guard that was talking to her. ‘I am Beowulf, head of the Kingsguard.’

‘Yes?’

‘I take it that's the file of evidence?’ He indicated to the file in her hand. 

‘It is, yes.’ She confirmed, slightly worried as to why he was asking.

‘I will have my guard carried to the throne room to ensure did not tampered with. This is nothing against you, it is merely procedure.’ He explained. 

‘Alright.’ She handed it over but ensured keep it in her sight at all times.

‘Thank you.’ He passed it to a heavily armoured guard that she knew to be one of Odin's bodyguards and she had heard several times that the King trusted with his very life. The guard in question remained mere centimetres from Beowulf’s side. ‘I will ask that you follow me.’

‘Why?’

‘From what I've been told, this entire situation rests with you, you are very much the key witness and the professional opinion.’

Cara could only nod her head and do as requested. There was nothing said between those in the party as they travelled to the throne room. There, Thor stood looking somewhat unsure next to a very confused and hurt looking Frigga. Odin sat on his throne looking angered. The Vanir ambassador and his wife were to the other side looking irate, Lucia continued to weep dramatically close to them. Eir stood stoically in the centre of them all and finally, Cara’s eyes came to Loki, who looked terrified and ashamed. 

‘Beowulf?’ Odin queried. ‘Care to explain what is afoot?’

‘Allfather, an accusation of acts most foul I've come to be made against his Highness, Prince Loki by his significant other, the Lady Lucia, daughter of Ambassador Tywin of Vanaheim.’

‘These are more than mere accusations.’ Tywin growled.

‘All charges are accusations until proof is obtained and shown to be factual and without question prove the accusations to be true. One beings word against another is not proof, it holds very little standing in official and legal matters.’ Odin countered.

‘Allfather, I know he is your son but any man who raised his hand to a woman needs to be punished accordingly.’ Tywin argued.

‘I agree.’ Odin sighed. ‘But that does not mean that proof is not required. If we were to begin punishment for crimes that we cannot prove have been committed, then we stand at the precipice of a system of authoritarianism were proof is no longer required and merely irritating a person of significant power is worthy of imprisonment or worse. I will not allow Asgard to fall into such a trap. We shall look at all of the evidence and deal with the situation accordingly.’ He looked at his younger son. ‘Loki, do you care to explain all of this?’

Loki bit his lips together, looking at the floor, unsure of even what to say. 

‘If I may, Allfather?’ Eir stood forward. 

‘Of course, Eir.’ Odin beckoned for her to step forward more. 

‘Of late, one of my healers, my own apprentice, now qualified, has brought forward the information of a patient she has been treating that has come to her regarding multiple wounds received by the patient that would constitute abuse by significant other. She has categorised the injuries upon their being presented to her and has informed me of each incident after she concluded by both professional knowledge and personal witnessing of said abuse.’ She urged Cara to step forward. 

Cara did as requested and bowed to the Allfather who nodded in acknowledgement. 

‘What has this to do with anything?’ Tywin demanded. ‘My daughter has stated that he inflicted the wounds in a way that would not be seen so what does another issue like my daughter's have to do with this situation?’

Cara looked at Loki whose gaze was no longer to the floor but instead was looking at her with something akin to betrayal in his eyes. She gave him a sad apologetic smile before looking to the King. ‘Your Majesty, I have, for the past few weeks, dealt with Prince Loki's wounds, which, added to the manner in which he and Lady Lucia have interacted in my presence in private, I feel are a result of Lady Lucia’s actions against him.’

‘Poppycock.’ Tywin bellowed.

‘What?’ Frigga looked at her son in shock. ‘Loki?’

‘A man being struck by a woman?’ Isabella, Tywin’s wife scoffed. ‘Is no man.’

‘A woman who strikes a man she knows has been raised with too much integrity to harm her in return and who she speaks like a drunken sailor is no lady.’ Cara retorted. 

‘How dare you.’ Isabella snarled.

‘I would think her to be all but paraphrasing your own husband's words.’ Frigga retorted viciously. ‘Please continue, Healer Cara.’

Cara gave the Allmother a grateful smile and a bow. ‘As I was saying, in the past few weeks, his Highness’s injuries have increased in both frequency and severity to an extent I was forced to alert Eir, as head Healer to a potentially dangerous and abusive situation which escalated further forty-eight hours ago when I went to change bandages for the prince only to overhear the “Lady” Lucia berating him for no less than three minutes for his not wanting to lie with her in language must unbecoming and abusive. While there, I was directed to other signs of an abusive situation including the forbidding of the prince to having any female except for Her Majesty and his partner within his rooms, including female cleaning staff. She further attempted to manipulate the situation in my presence by implying that his Highness’s refusal to lay with her was an abusive attack on her emotional health and her self-esteem while also implying that he was merely using her as a cover for his being homosexual with the same crocodile tears I have borne witness to today both here and in the healing rooms and only last evening, his highness requested I assist him in ridding himself of this toxic partner.’

‘And you informed Head Healer Eir all of this?’ Odin asked, shocked at what he was after hearing.

‘All but last night's edition as I had yet to see her today before this all occurred. She had appointments outside of the healing rooms to attend this morning while my work was within them but all of my notes are fully to date.’ She indicated to the Einherjar holding her file. 

‘And it was my son specifically that you mentioned to Eir?’

‘No, your Majesty. I could not disclose his name without consent specifically from him. He had not yet declared the want to press charges, so I was bound by my oath to protect his privacy until such time as he permitted me to disclose such information.’

‘Yet you willingly give all this so-called evidence now? A likely story.’ Tywin dismissed. 

‘My patient stands accused of assaults that are set against him by his assailant and for his innocence I am bound to give evidence. In a legal setting, I am obliged to give evidence that would, outside of such situations, be deemed against my patient’s right to confidentiality.’ She declared. ‘Any woman that raises a hand to a man is culpable as any man who does so.’

‘And of these verbal assaults, what proof of these do you have?’ Isabella challenged.

‘I am not the only one to witness these. Alfred, his Highness’s hand servant was the one to permit me entrance into the prince's rooms on the day in question to deal with his wounds. He too bore witness to her horrific tirades.’ Cara dared to look at Lucia and was in no way startled to see the other woman giving her a glare that if looks could kill, Cara was certain she would be dead on the spot. Cara then looked to Eir. ‘We need to also include….’

‘Of course, in The madness of all of this, I almost forgot.’

As the two healers spoke, Odin decided on further action. ‘Beowulf, have a guard that is outside of this room fetch Alfred and ensure that neither the guard nor Alfred knows what this is regarding.’ He instructed. ‘That way, we can see if he can verify or rubbish Healer Cara’s claim of such events.’

‘Of course he will side with his employer.’ Lucia snapped. ‘I cannot believe I have to endure all of this after all the torment I've been put through. I need some air.’ She went to leave.

‘Surely you would wish to say and see yourself exonerated if what you speak is the truth? Or is it that you do not want to be here to accept the consequences for your lies?’ Odin challenged. ‘No one is leaving this room without my permission until the truth is revealed whatever it may be. Any that do so will be held in a cell for a week for disobeying a direct order from the King and Allfather. Now, may I have Healer Cara’s notes?’ The Einherjar who had brought her files to the room step forward and gave them to the King. ‘And also Healer Eir’s?’ He glanced through them with his brows raising more than once and his gaze starting between his son and his partner. ‘Norns.’

Thor left his mother's side and went to his father's. He too scanned the notes and his eyes widened. ‘They are all but identical.’

‘Yes, that tends to happen when the truth is being told.’ Odin then glared at Lucia. ‘And both are very condemning of you.’

‘She did not even stop up in the Healing Rooms when she came in early, she rushed to the offices, she could have made them then.’ Lucia snapped.

'If one is distraught, they tend not to notice such things.' Eir commented. 'As regards where the Healer Cara went, she came to my office, where she explained to myself and Johann, that all was not as was being portrayed, from there, she was told to get her files, which, going by the time delay of her coming here behind us, gives her all of four seconds to alter several accounts of notes which are unalterable, I somewhat doubt that to be possible, don't you?' Silence and confusion answered her question. 

‘Healers notes are handwritten before they are logged in the archives. Once that occurs they cannot, by any form of magic, be altered for protection reasons. This occurs at midnight every night. If they are dated when locked, then come Ragnarok, Healer Cara cannot alter her previous notes.’ Odin explained. ‘Beowulf, stand by Lady Lucia. I want her here for our next witness.’ He ordered, the Kingsguard doing as requested immediately. ‘My dear, I feel you may have underestimated your opposition. You would be dangerous but for the fact that you are as thick as the trunk of Yggdrasil.’

Upon his arrival, it took only a moment for Alfred to recite the exact comments Cara had made regarding the conversations that occurred when the healer arrived to change the bandages. In fact, he added more that she seemed to have forgotten in her shock at what she was hearing. When he was asked if they had been further occasions such as that that he had been made witness to, he nodded in confirmation.

‘It appears, Lady Lucia, that my son finally saw fit to rid himself of you and you thought yourself intelligent enough to outsmart everyone. How wrong you were. Lord Tywin, I must declare that you and your wife have raised quite the sadistic little bitch. You should get down on bended knees that it was a man raised never to abuse women that she saw fit to dig her harpies talons into, both figuratively and literally according to this report.’ He held up Cara’s notes. ‘A more aggressive man would have defended himself physically before now, not that anyone could ever blame him.’ Odin looked at Lucia. ‘Have you anything to say for yourself?’ The room looked at her almost expectantly.

‘Why are you all ganging up on me?’ she wept. 

‘You truly are a disgusting being if you see no issue with what you have done. Why did you hurt my son and then accuse him of doing such things to you?’ Frigga walked forward. ‘You know what you did was wrong because you accused my son of doing those exact things to you, knowing that he would get in trouble. and did I hear you assaulted and abused him for not wanting to go to bed with you? You hurt him for not rushing into bed with you?’ Lucia simply scowled and did not answer the Allmother’s questions.

‘Actually…’ Everyone turned to look at Cara again. ‘We have a legitimate reason to believe that Lady Lucia spiked a drink with “Dragon’s Breath” to coerce his Highness into sexual acts against his will.’

The already shocked room turned glacial in atmosphere with such a revelation.

‘Can I ask what is “Dragon’s breath”?’ Thor asked.

‘A potion for impotence, not something a young healthy man requires.’ Cara explained. ‘On the day that I assisted the prince with burns he received from Lady Lucia’s hair iron, Eir informed me that there was an issue with a missing vial of the potion in the healing rooms. Not one hour later, as I gave instruction to the prince as to how he should tend to his arm, Lady Lucia entered his rooms with a goblet with an odd mixture within it. Taking what I knew to be the issue regarding him not laying with her and her insistence that he consume the contents of the goblet, as well as knowing what “Dragons Breath” looks like, I suspected that the contents of the goblet contained the potion. I took it with me in my healing bag on my leaving and had it tested. As you can see Allfather, I reported this immediately to Eir also.’

‘And the results of these tests?’ The King scanned for notes for the answer to his question.

Cara frowned, the letter was still in her desk. ‘The results…’ She turned to Eir.

Eir gave her a knowing smile. ‘My copy of the results are in the back of my file, Allfather.’

Odin took out the piece of paper in question and read it. ‘And where is this goblet now?’

‘With Johann.’ Eir indicated to the Head Einherjar. 

‘Yes, Allfather.’ Johann confirmed. The Allfather urged him to step forward which he did obediently. ‘The goblet, due to its contents and the nature of the crime, was kept for evidence. I was not made aware that the potential victim was Prince Loki and as such did not mention anything to Beowulf. Had I've been aware of such, I would have alerted him immediately.’

‘Why were are you alerted to this at all?’ Odin questioned. 

‘Eir informed me that one of her healer’s had a patient who was in a suspected to be an abusive situation and thus far, the victim of these assaults had not given the consent for the healer to intervene so the identity could not be revealed.’ He explained. 

‘How do we know that the prince did not hey the healer to plant it there frame my daughter?’ Tywin demanded. 

‘Why would a healer involve herself in such a conspiracy?’ Eir argued, insulted at the mere thought of such a thing.

‘Why has she any interest in this at all?’ Tywin counted before walking over to Cara. ‘What has my daughter ever done to you?’

‘To me personally, absolutely nothing. There is no vendetta in this for me, if this had been the other way around, were she the victim, I would be just as defensive on her behalf but she has put a man on my patient list several times, that is why I care. I am a healer, it is my duty to care.’ Cara stated assertively.

‘You take care how you speak to my husband, he is the Vanir ambassador.’ Isabella snapped. 

‘I am fully aware who your husband is.’ Cara responded in a bored tone.

‘Have you any idea of the insolence you are even showing?’ Isabella continued indignity. ‘My husband is defending his daughter from terrible lies of you to speak like this, You low born….’

‘If you are going to speak to Healer Cara in such a manner, perhaps we could bring in her father to defend her?’ Thor suggested, licking his teeth as he smirked.

‘My father is not required, Your Highness. He knows well that my sister and I are well capable of defending ourselves.’ Cara smiled. 

‘And who is your father to say you speak so confidently that he would have any standing against me?’ Tywin demanded.

‘Well, the sister I reference is Sif, take from that what you will.’

‘Sif, the Lady Sif? Duke Tyr’s daughter?’ Tywin asked, his tone not so loud and brave as before.

‘He prefers the title of “General” actually. He believes his battle accolades far outrank his birth one, or so he has always implied to my sister, brother and I.’ Cara informed them. Both the Ambassador and his wife were silenced by such revelations. 

‘So you see, Isabella.’ Frigga walked over to the other woman, slowly, every step calculated. ‘Healer Cara’s title far surpasses yours and indeed your husband’s. She is a trained and qualified healer, a noble profession, one she owns because of a lot of hard work on her own behalf, not a title earned by marriage and she is also the daughter of a Duke by birth and niece to Queen Ophelia of Vanaheim through her father, who we all know is the Queen's older brother, which of course makes her niece to King Joffrey through marriage, then, of course, there is her father's military record, both here and on Vanaheim, earning him more titles on both realms... you catch my drift. But of course, I do not think Thor made such a suggestion simply to reveal who she is but because of the personal entertainment he would get from watching General Tyr decimate your husband where he stands forever suggesting his Cara, his youngest child, would do such a thing to not only hers but also her family's name and her profession solely to slight your daughter for absolutely no personal gain. Though I must admit, I too would take immense pleasure in watching such an act. I dare say it would be somewhat interesting to witness.’ Frigga all but snarled. ‘Though I cannot imagine him leaving much of your husband left to even drag back to Vanaheim but I dare say, Queen Ophelia would have something to say also when I personally inform her of what has occurred between her brother and your husband, not to mention the slight against her goddaughter.’ Isabella was unable to meet the Allmother’s eyes. ‘Considering the crimes, what would be the sentencing should this be brought forward legally?’ She turned to Beowulf and Johann, having said everything required thing to Lady Isabella.

‘Generally, when a conviction is achieved, with this particular grouping of crimes combined, you are looking at circa a century, if I'm not mistaken.’ Beowulf looked to Johan to see if you could add to or correct this statement.

‘At the bare minimum. You are talking a quarter century per assault but the “Dragon's Breath” that is far more severe. That is an attempted rape, drugging, perhaps even poisoning should have gone wrong. And of course, taking into account that is a member of the royal family.’

‘Men cannot possibly be raped.’ Isabella scoffed dismissively.

‘I assure you, as a healer with over two millennia of experience, I can say with great authority that indeed, they can.’ Eir retorted. ‘Perhaps it would be best if you were to speak only of matters you are knowledgeable of, Lady Isabella, though, I dare say, with what you have spouted thus far, that would oblige you to be mute.’

‘So everything tallied.’ Odin took control of proceedings again before they bore witness to Eir tear Isabella apart verbally. ‘Loki.’ The younger prince turned to face his father. ‘Not once have you spoken throughout all of this. Have you anything you wish to say?’ 

Loki, whose shame only intensified every moment others had spoken as all he had endured came to light, just shook his head. ‘No.’ 

‘Do you wish to go ahead with this, to charge her for what she has done?’ Frigga asked. 

‘I want this all to end. I want to just leave it all behind me. I never want to see that lying conniving hag again.’

‘You said you loved me.’ Lucia snarled angrily. 

‘This is not love.’ Loki pulled up his sleeve revealing his still red and scarred arm and took the seidr glamour hiding his facial wounds down. ‘Cara was right all along. From the very beginning, she told me I don’t deserve it and she was right.’ He swallowed, having finally found his voice again. ‘I do not wish to prosecute, Father. I don’t want this all to be known, but I want her gone.’

‘I cannot do so without good reason, my son.’ Odin shook his head, processing the words on the paper was one thing, seeing his son with the wounds inflicted was another matter entirely. ‘Without a charge against her, I cannot do so. And if she remains free, she can do the same again.’ 

Loki gave a shaky breath and looked to Cara. ‘What do you think I should do?’

‘I cannot answer for you, My Prince. I told you before, we can only choose for ourselves.’

‘Would you?’

‘Yes, without a doubt.’ She answered affirmatively. 

Loki considered her words and the manner in which she spoke them. ‘I don’t want her doing this again. Once was once too many times.’

‘Brother.’ Loki braved looking towards Thor for the first time since this all occurred, but not directly at him. ‘People will know.’ Loki’s head fell. ‘But know that I will stand beside you. I am sorry you never felt you could come to me.’

‘Well then, Lady Lucia, you are hereby charged with multiple assaults of Prince Loki of Asgard, as well as attempted poisoning and rape. Have I got everything?’ Odin checked. 

‘Perhaps defamation also.’ Cara suggested. ‘She did, after all, accuse Loki of the terrible abusive acts that she committed.’ 

The King thought for a moment of what was suggested. ‘You really overplayed your hand, girl.’ Odin growled. ‘Guards!’ 

‘No, No, this is not fair.’ Lucia shrieked. ‘Father!’

‘Your father cannot help you now unless he would like to see himself charged with obstruction of justice.’ Odin warned, eyeing Lord Tywin as though daring him to say something. ‘Every action we choose has a consequence. Accept the consequences of your actions like a woman.’ 

‘Father!’ Lucia shrieked viciously as she was being pulled away, fighting against the guards as she did so. ‘Do something, you useless fool.’

‘Entitled wagon, isn’t she?’ Eir commented to Cara. ‘You and I need to begin filing our legal reports and you are very much a key witness in this, so you need to prepare everything and get organised.’ Eir instructed. ‘Also, until this is done, you cannot treat his highness as a patient, understood?’ 

‘Yes, Ma’am.’ She nodded. She looked to Loki, who was looking at her also. ‘My Prince, I am sorry if you feel I have betrayed your trust, I did it out of genuine concern for you and your wellbeing. I could not see her drag you down for her actions, not after you asked me for assistance. If you never see me fit to be your healer again, I understand and accept that completely. I just had to do what was right and I will stand by that until my death. I value your well being too much to remain silent. I rather you never wish to lay eyes on me again and despise me for this than for you to suffer her one solitary minute more.’ She gave him the same kind smile as she always did before bowing slightly and leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone that does not know, BTW, Cara is an Irish name that literally is the Irish for "friend".


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial comes and Cara thinks over the consequences of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not going to go through the trial itself in detail here.

The news spread quickly around the palace of what had occurred. So many scoffed at the idea of a man being the victim, more scoffed that he must not be much of a man if a woman could do such things to him and for him to do nothing in retaliation. Some questioned what he had done to warrant it. But other acknowledged the severity of the issue, many solely as a result of how others dismissed it, shocked to see something so serious was dismissed so quickly when, if it had been a woman, they would have listened. 

Cara ensured every note in her possession regarding everything was perfect. She even did diagrams that showed every wound she saw and treated. In all her interviews, she ensured her answers were concise and accurate. There were a few situations she could not assist with as she had never known of them. Alfred had revealed a lot of other incidences that she had not been aware of, she always was honest regarding her knowledge or lack of knowledge of such events. 

A few days before everything was due to come in front of the court, Cara was filling documents on a patient that was planning to move to Alfheim who needed their records to bring with them. She had not seen Loki since the day that everything was brought into the open but she accepted and respected his choice. She did what she did because she cared about him and she would stand by it.

When there was a knock on her door, she gave consent of the person to come in, rising from her chair when she saw who it was that was entering.

‘I hope I'm not disturbing you.’

‘Allmother.’ she curtsied. ‘Not at all, I am merely doing some paperwork. How can I assist you?’

‘I just came to thank you. I have become more aware of everything regarding my son and the more I learn, the more I am grateful to you.’

‘It was nothing more than anyone else would have done, Allmother.’

‘Your comments before you left that day, how you said you did it for him and were willing to accept his anger, that implies more than a mere patient/healer situation, but of true friendship.’ 

‘I know the prince the majority of my life, I have spoken to him on occasion throughout the years but during his treatments, I spoke with him more than I ever had before. I truly think he merely wanted someone to just talk to. Who knew what was going on, yet decided to still speak to him regarding matters of benign importance, giving him some semblance of normality throughout his experience.’

‘So, you were merely lending an ear?’

‘It was more than that, I genuinely enjoyed his company and the topics we discussed.’

‘So you will consider yourself his friend?’

‘In many ways, were it not for the reasons I was speaking to him in the first place, was he not my patient at those times, yes, very much so. After the feast at Lucas’ wedding, I spoke to him one of the very few times outside of him being an active patient of mine, it was by far the most pleasurable and interesting part the entire day for me. He was incredible company.’ Frigga nodded her head solemnly. ‘Can I get you anything, Allmother? Some tea perhaps?’

‘There is no great scheme to poison me with it, is there?’ The Allmother joke darkly. 

‘Only a drop or two of arsenic, you know yourself, it's not as bitter as lemon.’ Cara retorted as she got the tea. 

‘Can you discussed this?’

‘Not the particulars of my file and its contents, but yes, like any other being, I am permitted to discuss things, if just only titbits.’

‘He is taking it all very badly. A lot of people are being very cruel.’

‘A lot of people are very cruel.’ Cara responded. ‘They often do that with female victims also.’

‘Why?’

‘I cannot say for certain because I do not think as they think but from what I see, they do so because they are self-righteous and sanctimonious and they believe that people deserve or ask for mistreatment show their actions or inactions. It takes incredible strength and bravery to stand up to an abuser, to those who have never been abused, they do not understand and many, rather than trying to understand, forming an uneducated assumption based on zero facts or indifference of the highest degree. There are people that believe a prostitute cannot be raped, that a man cannot be physically abused, and that women who dress in particular clothing asking to be assaulted.’

‘Such lines of thought are incredibly terrifying.’ Frigga shook her head. ‘ There is a significant chance she could get away with this.’

‘Yes, she very may well. I have read more than one case were even with significant evidence, the men house walked free. It occurs with female assailants also, and female assailants also get less severe punishments based on their appearance.’

‘If she does…?’

‘Have her removed from Asgard?’ Cara suggested. ‘You cannot exile her, nor can you banish her but we can have her placed on a different realm for other reasons.’

‘I hear your father heard what Tywin said of you.’

‘I have not seen him much since then as he is currently on Vanaheim but what I have been told, it took fourteen men to prevent him and my brother from getting to a site where they could call upon Heimdall to open the Bifrost.’

‘Lord Tywin has handed in his resignation as ambassador and my husband was more than willing accept it. Your aunt has not extended her consent for him to return to Vanaheim to work either.’

‘How tragic.’ Cara scoffed sarcastically. 

‘Indeed.’ Frigga looked at her cup. ‘How…?’ Cara looked at her, slightly confused. ‘Loki refuses to speak much regarding it, and when he does, I know it now to be nothing more than a facade. Looking back, I never even realised my own son was in such a situation. I am his mother and I never even noticed.’

‘He was broken and lost. I don't think even he knew how to deal with it all. You raised him to respect and never raise a hand to a woman but he was also wanted to try to defend himself, so he was incredibly conflicted. He was confused because it was also not an enemy that was harming him, this was supposed to be someone who loved him. She had him convinced that is was love and that he would never feel such a sensation again without her. That she was the only one who could ever love him.’

‘Will he...do you think she has broken him? Will he ever try to love again?’ Frigga pondered aloud. ‘My poor boy.’

‘Hopefully. It is more than likely he will leave some time before he would ever be able to consider such things or more but that's ok. He is young, he has things he wishes to do, he wants to learn if feel good about himself again, that will assist him in finding a more suitable partner.’ Cara smiled reassuringly. ‘He's an incredibly intelligent and handsome man, he will find someone who will respect and deserve him.’

‘I hope so. He is a very sensitive being, you have to be to be a seidr wielder. I was so happy when I saw him with her, I thought he had found someone. I encouraged it.’ Frigga’s guilt increased. 

‘You could not have known, she was good at hiding it.’

‘But he would have felt that to say no to her would have disappointed us.’

Cara could not say anything to confirm or deny that statement since Loki has not mentioned anything on the topic of his mother's approval. ‘It does not do well to dwell on such things, we only enlarge a guilt instead of learning to move on.’ She smiled. ‘If his highness is trying to move on, he does not need his family, his very support structure, being the ones to keep him in that place.’

Frigga nodded. ‘I can see why he confided in you. You are far wiser than many thrice your age.’

‘This profession requires immense maturity and wisdom. It is not a profession for….’

‘The Lucia’s of the realms?’

‘Norns, the idea of her tending to others, for her to have to be the one to care and listen to them, that is a terrifying prospect.’ Cara shuddered. 

‘You are a very interesting being. when did you feel this was your path?’

Cara smiled family, realising just how alike to his mother Loki was.

*

Cara sighed. Three days. For three days she was examined and cross-examined to see if there were any irregularities or faults in her take of events. None could find fault in her work and treatments as well as the way she documented everything, though Lucia and her family tried to imply she had. She had followed the healer’s code to the smallest comma. Lucia’s family tried to imply that she and Loki had schemed together and concocted the entire story, but the motive was non-existent. Loki had not once been in her company since and her continued manner of treating her patients and her attention to detail signified no alteration to her mood with regards them no longer being in contact with the prince. It was dismissed. 

Much to Cara’s anger, Lucia was given a lenient sentence, but it did forbid her from ever returning to Asgard upon her release. Loki was forced to expose his scars and recount her actions, leaving his mother distraught, his brother irate, many shocked and him emotionally drained. If she was honest, the sleeping brew Eir seemed to be taking from the healing cabinet daily was, in her opinion, without a doubt for the Prince, and perhaps his mother after the day Loki was forced to recount everything. There was no way to persuade her otherwise, not that Eir would have told her regardless, nor would she ask. 

More than once, Loki looked at Cara during her time being questioned. She did not falter, even though she knew it was distressing and in many ways, she knew he would construe it as a betrayal. All she thought of was having justice be served, to give him some form of closure. 

Afterwards, as Lucia yowled like a scalded cat and the people gossiped loudly through the hallways of the palace, Cara went to the garden and sat thinking about everything. She was there until after the sunset and night descended on Asgard. 

‘Cara?’ She turned to see her sister standing nearby. ‘Hey.’

‘Hello.’

‘Father is looking everywhere for you.’

‘Okay.’

‘Are you alright?’

‘No, I’m half left.’ Cara joked. 

Sif groaned as her younger sister recycled their father’s cringe-inducing attempt at humour. ‘What’s up, and please don’t say the sky?’

‘I am just thinking.’

‘About today?’

‘Yes.’

‘You were good by the way, not buckling to her family.’

‘I could never call myself a Tyrdottir if I had.’

‘It must not have been easy. I never realised….’ Sif sighed. ‘Thor, the others and I, we all thought her too good for him. He looked to be perpetually miserable, and we said time and again that he was the issue, we never once considered her to be the issue. But, you knew….’ Cara looked at her sister. ‘You warned me subtly and I dismissed you.’

‘It’s done.’

‘How are you about it all?’

‘Angry, sad, happy, annoyed, everything all at once.’

‘Have you spoken to Loki since the verdict was given?’

‘I have not spoken to His Highness since the day it all came out.’

‘Really? I thought you two were close?’

‘So did Lucia and her family.’ 

‘I thought you just hid it for the trial?’

‘No, I was merely his healer, nothing more.’

‘Fair enough. Come on, Rhonda and Father want to have dinner.’

‘Why?’

‘You know as well as I do that it is tradition to thank heroes.’

‘I am a healer, not a hero. I just did my job.’

‘I disagree.’

‘We usually do.’ Cara joked. ‘I just need to go and write my notes for the day. I had an expectant mother I dealt with this morning before the sentencing. I have to update her details.’

‘Your job is so interesting.’ Sif stated sarcastically. 

‘I think so.’

‘I envy you, Cara. You just….you’re so happy in yourself, I wish I had your confidence.’

‘I think you are either fishing for compliments or blind, Sister. You forget, I deal with the men you force to respect you on almost a daily basis. Only a truly confident being would be able to do what you do in combat.’ 

‘We’re not half bad, are we?’ Sif beamed. 

‘Not at all.’ Cara agreed before inhaling deeply. ‘Could you tell Father and Rhonda that I am exhausted from it all and need a night to myself?’

‘Sure.’ Sif nodded. ‘Call if you need anything, alright?’

‘I promise.’ Sif nodded again and left her in peace.

Alone again, Cara continued to contemplate the day that had been.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara returns to the healing rooms to have another patient, one all too willing to discuss Loki.

It was another hour before she returned to the healing rooms. She noted that Henricus, one of the orderlies and porter, was the only one there, telling her that there were no healers or patients in the room at the time. He would call one should an emergency arise. 

On seeing Cara, he decided to go and get something to eat and left the healer to her work. Cara, for her part, was glad to be alone.

Her sentiment did not get to last long as she heard the doors to the healing rooms all but blast open. ‘Hello?’

Cara had never been one to stay too long in the company of her sister’s friends, but she knew their voices as soon as she heard them. She left her office and went to see what was required of her. ‘My Lords, how can I assist you?’

‘Oh thank goodness, Clara.’

‘It’s Cara, not Clara, actually.’ She corrected Volstagg as she walked over to them. ‘Who’s the….How did you manage that?’

‘We had a run in.’ Thor explained with a gasp as he moved his injured arm into her view.

‘With Frost Giants?’

‘No one mentioned Frost Giants,’ Fandral stated all too quickly. 

‘His arm is severely ice burned in the shape of a rather large hand.’ Cara pointed out, earning more sheepish looks from them all. ‘Easy knowing my sister was not in your presence this evening to say you were all foolish enough to go stirring trouble without her there to make you see sense.’ She chastised as she looked at the wound. ‘It is worse than I thought. The grip was a tight one.’

‘It was.’ Thor confirmed. 

‘It will take some time to heal and some covering up as it does so. You will not be able to create craters in the training grounds for at least a week.’

‘What?’ Thor gasped almost childishly. 

‘You are lucky to have your limb, so no grousing.’

‘I thought you were younger than SIf?’

‘I am.’

‘You sound older.’

‘She is older, but mentally, like yourselves, she acts as though she has not yet reached a thousand.’ She scoffed. ‘Right, you three, out.’

‘But….’

‘No buts, out. It is long past visiting times.’

‘Where is everyone?’ Fandral asked curiously as he looked around. 

‘With no inpatients, most everyone in their right mind is most likely in bed.’ 

‘“Most everyone”?’ 

‘I am here, aren’t I?’ She smiled before rising to full height again. ‘I will get what is needed. You can all say your farewells for the evening.’ She ordered before leaving the room to get supplies. 

‘She reminds me of my mother.’ Hogun commented before turning for the door. ‘I fear she may be deadlier than her sister if not obeyed.’

‘I think you to be right.’ Volstagg rose to his feet and did the same. ‘You will be alright, my friend?’

Yes, go. Get some rest.’ Thor ordered before sitting more comfortably on the bed. ‘I will be done in no time.’ 

‘You know where we are in you need us.’ Thor nodded at his friend’s words and waited for the healer to return. 

‘They listened.’ He turned to see Cara walking through the room with her hands full.

‘You thought they would not?’

‘From what I gather from my sister, you are a stubborn lot.’ 

‘I feel like I should be offended.’

‘That is your prerogative.’ She shrugged, taking a scissors and cutting the torn material of his sleeve to allow her access to the limb unimpededly. ‘You are not one dressed for battle.’

‘It was not intended.’ Thor stated, not wishing to say too much on the matter.

‘Well, you’re lucky to have your arm. What did it cost your assailant?’

‘His life.’ Cara pursed her lips. ‘You disapprove?’

‘I am a healer, my duty is to save lives, to kill goes somewhat against those beliefs.’ She explained. 

‘Even to protect your future king?’

‘A life is a life, regardless of if the being is a lowly pauper or a king. Both deserve life.’

Thor looked at her in an assessing manner. ‘Why did you reveal what happened to my brother?’

‘He was being accused of crimes he did not commit, crimes that could very easily have cost him dearly. I was obliged to do what was right, to reveal what she did.’

‘But if it had continued, had he not tried to get rid of her, if he decided to stay, to put up with it, would you have said anything?’

‘No, I could not. I am bound.’

‘You saved him.’

‘He saved him. He was the one to tell her he would do it no more. The kudos is his.’

‘I think you had a significant part to play in it also.’

‘If that is what you choose to think.’ She smiled politely. 

‘Will you report this?’ Thor looked at his arm worriedly.

‘No, unless you have a Jotunn significant other harming you, or you have inadvertently begun a war with the Jotnar.’

‘But you have to file it?’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘Please don’t.’

‘Prince Thor, how many times through the years have you done stupid things and have come here?’ He pondered the answer to that for a moment. ‘None of the foolish things you have done a public knowledge without your saying it because, without your life or the life of others being in danger, we healers say nothing.’

‘You know about our escapades.’

‘Because my sister tells me and not because of idle gossip, therein lies the difference.’

‘Are you close, to Sif I mean?’

‘Not over so. We do not sit talk for hours but we talk on occasion. She tells me a lot of your stories, probably because I don't tell anyone. Lift your arm.’ She worked as she spoke. ‘Are you and your brother close?’

‘I was never one to think we were overly so, I thought we were closer, but with what happened…. he said nothing to me.’

‘He was embarrassed. You forget, your highness, you and the Allfather are a lot like my father. You are all “macho” men. He knows himself before he was in that situation that he is dismissed as being weak and you are prone to masculine bravado, so he more than likely felt that he could not confide in you.’

'Just because I talk as I do does not mean I think other men are weak if they do not act as I do.’

‘Often, how we act and speak imply different to our thoughts. We should always ensure we do not act in a manner that conflicts with how we think and feel.’

‘You are really like your father.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Is it odd, having such a formidable father?’

‘Not much different to yourself I would imagine.’

‘I am male, women have men fearful of their father.’

‘Are you fearful of my father?’

‘Why would I...Did Sif tell you…?’

‘I told you already, she tells me most things. She did, after all, come to me for her “no illegitimate royal babies” potion.’ Thor’s eyes widened. ‘It’s my job and I only care for her happiness.’

‘Is she happy?’ There was a hint of a smile in his features. 

‘Yes, I believe so.’

‘Why are you not at your home tonight, Sif said….’

‘I didn’t want to go. She tried to convince me to but I am in little mood after today.’

‘I thought you would be happy with today?’ Thor was confused. 

‘I heard what they said of him, and how betrayed he was. He deserved justice but not at what it cost him to have everything out for everyone to discuss like that, and for such a lenient sentence.’

‘You care about him.’

‘I care about all my patients.’

‘I am glad it was you that he came across that first day.’

‘I am not sure he would share such a sentiment.’ Cara sighed. She tightened the bandage and inspected it. ‘Okay, I will need you to come back tomorrow for a fresh bandage and more ointment.’ She instructed. 

‘Okay.’ He nodded. ‘How long….?’

‘That deep, you are talking five days at the very least with intensive care.’ Thor swore. ‘I would also suggest gauntlets to hide the bandage.’ He frowned. ‘You are something of an open book, I could read it on your face.’ 

‘Thank you.’

‘Any time. That’s why I am here.’ She smiled.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara goes to relax for a while but her choice in spot is similar to another beings.

Cara sat in the gardens, flicking through her book looking for just the perfect sonnet. She could not find the perfect one to fit her current mood.

She was exhausted. Work was difficult at present, for whatever reason the Norns had felt the need to create madness in the realms. It seemed what cases she got were complex and often mind-boggling. So a few hours quiet and reading in the sun was all she wanted. 

Lying against a tree, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sunlight and the gentle breeze.

‘Oh.’ On hearing another voice, her eyes shot open. ‘Hello.’

‘My Prince.’ She bowed her head slightly, though part of her was unsure of how to act, as it had been a few weeks since the end of everything to do with Lucia and this was her first interaction with Loki since the day everything came to light. ‘Is everything alright?’

Loki cleared his throat. ‘Yes, I had just planned….’

Cara looked at his hand and realised he had a book in it. ‘Oh, I have stolen your spot, I assume.’

‘Yes….well, no, it’s not really “mine” per se, just…’ He stopped speaking. 

‘It’s fine. I’ll find somewhere else, you deserve to have some modicum of peace and quiet.’ She smiled. 

‘It’s okay.’ Loki turned and began to walk off before stopping and facing her again. ‘I never thanked you.’

‘You don’t have to.’

‘No, I do. I...I never even told you what happened that day, the day it all came out.’

‘You don’t need to.’

‘But I...’

‘If you wish to tell me, then, by all means, I will listen intently. So long as you are not worried that I will rush off and tell everyone.’

‘One thing I noted being repeated several times through everything, Johann and Eir never stopping saying how you reported everything officially without ever even implying it was me, not once in anything was I suspected of being the being you were referencing.’

‘I respected your wishes.’ 

‘Thank you.’

‘Any time, My Prince.’

Loki looked at her for a moment before biting his lips. ‘May I?’ He indicated to the seat she was sitting on. Immediately, she made room and he sat beside her. ‘I spent that night thinking of everything. How she treated me, how you said I deserved better, how I felt around her compared to when I am around...and I realised you were right. I made my decision. The next morning, she came in and started talking about how she expected me to propose, how she wanted it done which, I should mention everything was against what my position would allow, you know how it is, you are of the same area of the court.’

‘She wanted flamboyant and everyone forced to watch I assume? And I guess she had the ring chosen too, something extravagant and gaudy.’

‘She wanted my mother’s wedding ring.’

Cara looked at him with uncertainty. ‘The one she is wearing at present, what with her still being wed to the Allfather?’

‘The very one.’ Loki confirmed. ‘It has jewels not native to this realm, or many others, sapphires they are called, very rare.’ He inhaled deeply. ‘I was told to tell my mother, tell her, not ask, that if she loved me, that she would want me to be happy and that giving me that ring was how to make me happy, somehow.’

‘Norns.’ Cara shook her head. ‘Not half prone to being manipulative, is she?’

‘It was my limit.’ Loki confessed. ‘My mother loves that ring. My father went to Midgard for the rock for it, that’s where it comes from. He had it made specifically for her and apparently, by all accounts, made an absolute blundering fool of himself proposing to her. She smiles every time she looks at it. It’s not the most valuable ring in the realms, not by a long shot, but she loves it.’

‘That is beautiful. No one could ever, with any respect for her, make such a…..”request” as that.’

‘No.’ He toyed with his fingers and fidgeted a lot. ‘I told her no, that there was not going to be a proposal either, or an engagement, none of it. She did not take it well.’

Cara took his hand and looked him in the eye. ‘I think that is something of an understatement.’ She stated solemnly, causing them both to laugh. ‘You did the right thing, you were incredibly brave to fight her on that. You can be happy now.’

‘I have started doing things of late, things I used always like. It has made me so much happier in myself again.’

‘Good, you deserve such.’ She smiled. 

‘I must confess, however, that I miss speaking with you of different literature and other matters.’

‘You do not have to be injured to seek my company for such things. In fact, I would much rather you were not injured and sought my company.’ She stated. 

‘What sonnet would suit today?’

‘Forty-Nine.’ She stated without thought. Loki took only a moment to consider it before nodding, acknowledging the poignancy in it, all things considered. ‘What about you, have any stuck out with you of late?’

‘One-forty-seven.’ He smiled slightly. 

Cara frowned as she recalled the one in question, when she recited it to herself, she nodded slightly and gave a small smile ‘You are moving on with life, that’s good. I hope you find what you are longing for.’

‘How do you do that? How do you genuinely care for others as you do? So many pretend to care but you, you do and you can see it.’

‘Someone is happy is of a mindset that they would like others to be happy. What would I gain from wishing ill on others?’

‘I wish I was more like you, minus the dress of course.’

Cara snorted slightly before erupting in laughter at his words. ‘Sorry, that’s just too funny, it’s brilliant.’

Her laughter startled Loki for a moment. ‘I...You thought that that was funny?’

Cara ceased laughing. ‘Was it not meant to be?’

‘I...It’s just...’

‘You’re more used to people laughing at you?’

‘Well, yes.’ Loki confessed. ‘Especially now.’

Cara took his hand again, having realised he craved the positive contact and rubbed it kindly. ‘No one deserves that, especially you.’

‘You are too kind to me.’

‘I have to be because you are not being kind enough to yourself. You need to change that. Love yourself, love who you are. It must be hard not to for you are an incredible being.’

‘I fear you are a terrible liar, kind though.' Loki looked at her hand on his. ‘This feels so different, every time you have touched me, you are so different to how…’

‘That is because I would never willingly harm you. I genuinely care for your happiness and wellbeing.’

Loki swallowed. ‘I have to go.’ He rose to his feet and scarpered off without any further explanation, leaving Cara utterly baffled. 

*

Loki watched as everyone danced around the room jovially. It had been almost half a year since Lucia was forced to face justice for her actions and lies. In that time, he recovered a lot of his self-worth, mostly due to Cara advice. 

He saw her often but only allowed himself in her company when he knew he would not embarrass himself, which was infrequently. 

It was at a festive event when finally he worked up the courage to talk to her again. Cara was sitting next to her sister and Thor when he approached. He could see she was more than a little bored. He walked over and gave a polite smile. ‘Mind if I join you?’

‘No, please.’ Cara all but jumped out of her chair to make room for him. 

‘I am getting the feeling that Cara would converse with Hela herself rather than stay here listening to us any longer.’ Sif scoffed. 

‘I would like to speak with the Goddess of Death, I would imagine she would be highly fascinating to converse with.’ Cara stated nonchalantly, Thor and Sif looking at her as though she had said something utterly mad. ‘Oh go back to arguing as to which of you is the bigger fool, such topics are wasted on you both.’ She ordered with a smile. ‘Do you think we will be honoured in Valhalla for having suffered them in this life?’ She asked Loki, the kind smile she always seemed to wear in his presence was bestowed on him to him once more. 

‘I hope so, it can be the only thing to stop me shoving an apple in his mouth whole some days in hope of silencing him, if only for a moment.’ Loki responded. 

‘I am not a pig.’ Thor growled, rising to his feet and leaving to go to speak with his other friends, Sif in tow. 

Cara leant towards Loki to be sure they were not overheard. ‘I would dispute that, he can be an incredible bore.’ 

Loki, who had been taking a drink from the chalice he had brought to the table with him, was left coughing and spluttering as he laughed, mid drink, at her comment. It took several minutes for him to breathe right again afterwards. ‘Sorry.’

‘It should be me apologising to you.’ Cara rubbed his back, having clapped it a few times in his coughing. ‘I should not have said it.’

‘I am glad you did, even if my body tried to clock out because of it. That was brilliant.’

‘Well, so long as you forgive me.’ Cara blushed slightly. 

‘There is nothing you could do to make me feel the need to forgive you.’ Loki had barely finished saying the words before he became very interested in his own hands. Do...Would you care to dance?’

Cara was slightly taken back by his asking such a question. ‘Yes.’

‘Really?’ He gave a nervous smile as he rose to his feet and extended his hand to her, she took it and the pair walked onto the dance floor, ignoring anyone that may have been looking at them.

‘I promise I am better now.’

Loki could only laugh, recalling the only other time he had danced with her. They were a lot younger then and Odin had forced him and Thor to dance with Tyr’s daughters, but Cara, not long a teenager, was nervous and scared and fell over Loki’s feet and her own, more than once. The only reason she did not fall flat on her face in front of a room full of both Aesir and foreign gentry was because Loki caught her. That was the one and only time he had danced with her. ‘We will see.’ 

They were flawless. Loki had always been graceful in every manner, dancing was no different. Cara had not allowed herself to dance publicly again until she was certain she would not embarrass herself again but she rarely danced. Neither paid any attention to anyone who may or may not have been paying them any heed but they had been noticed, by their family and by many others. For Loki and Cara, they only danced their dance, looking at one another the entire time they did so.

Even after the song ended, the pair continued to look at one another, neither saying anything to the other. It took several moments before Loki noticed Thor in his peripheral vision, looking at him as though it was some incredible new discovery before him. Loki’s reaction was to focus on Cara once more before taking her and in his and raising it to his lips, giving it a faint kiss while looking into her eyes. ‘You are incredible.’

Cara blushed, realising it was a significant step in being more positive. ‘All I needed to do to do better this time was not fall.’

Loki chuckled slightly. ‘Cara…’ He bit his bottom lip and looked her in the eye. ‘Can...If…’ He sighed and looked at the ground. ‘Nevermind.’

‘Talk to me, Loki.’ She pleaded. 

‘I can’t.’

‘Please.’ But he just walked away and out of the ballroom. 

Disappointed, Cara walked back to her seat and said nothing to anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sonnet 49 (Cara's choice)   
> Against that time (if ever that time come)  
> When I shall see thee frown on my defects;  
> Whenas thy love hath cast his utmost sum,  
> Called to that audit by advised respects;  
> Against that time when thou shalt strangely pass,  
> And scarcely greet me with that sun, thine eye;  
> When love, converted from the thing it was,  
> Shall reasons find of settled gravity;  
> Against that time do I ensconce me here  
> Within the knowledge of mine own desert,  
> And this my hand against myself uprear  
> To guard the lawful reasons on thy part:  
>   To leave poor me, thou hast the strength of laws,  
>   Since why to love I can allege no cause.
> 
> Sonnet 147 (Loki's)  
> My love is as a fever, longing still  
> For that which longer nurseth the disease,  
> Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,  
> Th' uncertain sickly appetite to please.  
> My reason, the physician to my love,  
> Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,  
> Hath left me, and I desp'rate now approve  
> Desire is death, which physic did except.  
> Past cure I am, now reason is past care,  
> And frantic mad with evermore unrest,  
> My thoughts and my discourse as madmen’s are,  
> At random from the truth vainly expressed;  
>   For I have sworn thee fair and thought thee bright,  
>   Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the dance, Cara and Loki do not speak again for a time, until Loki's trust in her is tested via his brother's stupidity.

For a week, Loki hid in his rooms after the dance. He had become almost obsessive with thinking of the few minutes he had spent dancing with Cara. How they had maintained eye contact throughout. He had adored every moment of it. He thought of their conversations, of their simple moments of talking and realised he loved them, he loved spending time around Cara. 

Cara though, had her days keep her busy, spending long portions of them wondering what it was that Loki had been trying to ask before he ceased thinking it a good idea and fleeing the room rather than stay and continue talking. Part of her was wondering if it was her that had been the problem. If he felt that, after everything, it was not the best idea to associate with her. As much as it hurt her, she knew that if that were to be his choice, she could only accept it. But she hoped not as she found herself loving the conversations they had and she found herself hoping to continue having. 

It was still something they had not discussed a month later when Thor was rushed into the healing wounds after he and his friends went on a ride and had somehow had ended up in the middle of a Bilgesnipe fight with Thor having one of their large antlers gore his side. 

Loki had not been with them but as he had been in the city when they rode through it with the injured older prince all but slumped over his horse, so he joined them in hopes of getting his brother seen to as quickly as possible. 

As Eir, Amie and two other healers worked on cleaning and healing the wound, Cara went to speak with her sister. ‘Sif, what happened?’ Sif remained silent. ‘You have to tell me.’

‘You’ll just tell everyone.’

Cara’s jaw clenched. 'I am not allowed tell people, Sif, just tell me how he ended up speared by a Bilgesnipe antler.’ Sif bit the inside of her cheeks. ‘Yes, I know what their antlers look like, we’re not stupid in these healing rooms. I have spent the last two centuries studying these things. Just tell me what happened.’ She said nothing. Cara looked to the Warrior’s Three next but none of them would meet her gaze. She shook her head and looked at Loki. ‘There is no point to even asking you.’

‘Can you blame him?’ Sif asked. ‘Of all of us, he is top of the list as to who cannot trust you.’

‘Actually, I was referring to the fact that he clearly was not with you.’ Cara explained. 

‘How do you ascertain that?’ Volstagg asked. 

‘He is not dressed in armour, like you lot, he is in a tunic.’ She pointed out. 

‘They went baiting Bilgesnipe.’ Loki explained. ‘They do it every so often, they lure them out with ammonia.’

‘That explained the smell.’ Cara nodded. ‘Thank you.’ She looked around at the others again, who were all glaring at Loki, clear looks of betrayal on their face. ‘Was it male or female?’ They looked at her confused. ‘Was the Bilgesnipe male or female?’ 

‘Does it matter?’ Sif asked. 

‘Female ones secrete a toxin onto their antlers that does not allow wounds to heal, so yes, it matters considerably. If we don’t give him the antidote, he will not heal, if we give it to him and he does not need it, that causes severe issues also.’

The warriors all looked at one another for a moment. ‘We honestly don’t know.’ 

‘Bright green or a forest colour green?’ Loki questioned. They gave him the same baffled look they had given Cara a moment before. ‘Was it a lighter or darker green?’

‘Darker.' Hogun stated firmly, the others nodded in agreement.

‘Male, fine. I better tell Eir. Why not just tell me from the start and stop wasting my time.’ She stated in exasperation before going back inside to relay the information. 

‘Why did you not just tell her?’ Loki growled. 

‘You of all Aesir should know why.’ Sif retorted. 

‘That was different.’ Loki dismissed. ‘And she only told Eir then too. You are foolish if you think her telling people is more harmful than helping Thor.’

‘Just because you are trying to lift her dress skirt does not mean you should betray us to her.’

‘There is no betrayal. Having Thor healed is the only thing that should matter. You cannot be busy fumbling around with whatever pathetic attempt of intimacy you two have if he is not alive to do it with.’

‘So you do want to lift her skirts?’

‘What would even give you such an idea?’ Loki scoffed. 

‘We saw you two dance at the ball, the whole of Asgard saw it.’

‘It was a room full of people and the ballroom floor was in the middle of it. We were not exactly hiding in some corner.’ Loki pointed out. ‘I have even been forced to dance with you on occasion, it is somewhat expected of people in our position.’

‘Yet you do not deny Sif’s statement.’ Fandral pointed out. 

‘I would not dignify such a statement with a response.’

‘Stay away from my sister.’ Sif threatened, going into Loki’s face. 

‘I do not have any plans to bother her in such a manner, but even if I did, I would expect the same courtesy shown to me as you have been given, which is minding my own business and acknowledging that my sibling is a full grown adult who, should they wish to get involved in relationships, not chase away their chases to be happy with whomever they see fit to do so with.’ He looked her in the eye as he spoke the next sentence. ‘Even when you find their choice in partner to be severely lacking.’

Sif’s nostrils flared. ‘No wonder Lucia…’

‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence.’ The group turned to see Cara behind them, standing behind them, her face one of utter disbelief and irate anger at what she had just heard her sister say. 

‘Cara..’

‘How could you ever say such a thing?’

‘I...He….’

‘What, the two of you have been exchanging insults for over half a millennium on your opinions of one another, but you never let it get too personal, then after everything, which I know you know the details of, you choose to say such a thing, what the hell is wrong with you? How would you like it if you had been assaulted in such a manner only for people to say your assailant was right to do so?’ She shook her head. ‘I dare you to go in there and tell Thor what you just said and see what he thinks.’

‘And you will tell him if I don’t?’ 

‘If it prevents you from ever saying such things again, I would.’ She shook her head again. ‘I...there are no words, Sif. You have no right.’ She looked at Loki. ‘He is asleep at present, via a potion. He will wake in about an hour or so. Because the wound is not life-threatening, there is no need to alert the Allfather and Allmother as to the actual cause, but I would suggest a solid story as to why he is wounded as he is. I would personally go with a drunken challenge to a duel. His armour, I can dispose of because it bears too many claw, scale and tooth marks, so he will need a tunic and a pair of pants.’

‘Thank you.’ Loki gave a slight nod. 

‘Now, I better go and send out some messenger pigeons to tell people everywhere about this, would Heimdall leave them through the Bifrost? I have a few people on other realms to tell as well.’

To their own dismay, the warriors could not prevent themselves laughing slightly as Sif clenched her jaw. 

‘You may have to wait for another to be in need of using it first, I’m afraid.’ Loki chuckled. 

‘How am I supposed to gossip under such conditions?’ Cara scoffed. ‘Well, that’s my plans for the evening gone.’ She looked at her sister with anger once more before walking off. 

‘I bet you loved that.’ Sif growled at Loki. 

‘After everything she has done for me, no, not in the slightest.’ Loki confessed. ‘Now we, and I mean we, were in the city. I was in the market square, you all were simply toying around. There is a tavern just outside the city walls, the Iron Gates, we went there, the barkeep owes me a favour, he will collaborate our story. Thor declared himself to be the best because let’s face it, he is prone to such. You,’ He pointed to Sif. ‘Playfully challenged him to put his money where his mouth is, shenanigans ensued and as they say, it was all fun and games until he got hurt. Thor will agree and no one will ever see fit to think you would ever hurt you beloved Thor maliciously and we don’t all suffer as a result of this.’

‘Why include yourself in this though?’ Fandral asked. ‘You are risking a reprimanding for nothing.’ 

‘You lot never just toy around the city, that is something I am prone to doing and I was seen coming through it with you.’

‘But you could get blamed if this goes awry.’ Volstagg stated. 

‘My brother has just been impaled on a Bilgesnipe antler. How does that not constitute awry to you?’ Loki questioned. ‘Right, I will go and tell Cara the story so she can have Thor know the version of events we are going with on his waking up. Sif, stop scowling and get Thor’s clothes, something smart or as smart as a full grown man baiting and getting in the way of a Bilgesnipe can be, anyway and something similar for yourself, and get them back here and I can make it look like he was wearing them instead. You three….’ The warriors looked at him astutely. ‘Have new armour made for him immediately. It will take some time to do and for the love of the Norns, make sure this armour is designed to actually protect him. I don’t want to be the Allfather at all but if I have to become such, I do not want it to be because my moronic brother got struck in the midsection baiting wild animals, it is embarrassing for both him and I.’

‘Good to see you have your priorities straight.’ Volstagg laughed before he and the other warriors did as requested. 

Loki looked around at Sif who was still standing there, looking at him. ‘Yes?’

‘You don’t want the throne?’

‘Do you honestly believe everyone wants the same things in life?’ Loki scoffed. ‘I don’t want the throne, I want to have my own life.’

‘But you…’

‘You have no idea about anything to do with me, so don’t speak about any of it.’ Loki warned. ‘I had a bad time, I have come out of that stronger and better. Cara taught me to think about what I want and how to achieve what I want.’

‘That was how our father raised us.’ Sif acknowledged. ‘I...I’m sorry. You’re right, I don’t know anything about...what happened. And Cara was right, as much as you and I do not like each other, our comments have never been so….’

‘Malicious.’

‘I was going to say personal.’

‘Malicious is more accurate.’

‘I am sorry.’

‘I notice you waited until we are alone to say that.’

‘Why Cara?’

‘You are reading too much into this.’

‘You cannot look anyone in the eye and say nothing happened between you at that ball.’

Loki looked her directly in the eye as he spoke. ‘Nothing happened between us at the ball.’

‘You are a natural born liar. I know what I saw.’

‘Like how you saw Lucia to be too good for me and how I was a miserable git?’ Sif could not look him in the eye. ‘And on that statement, just know that I am not going to risk my being hurt like that again.’

Sif gave him an insulted look. ‘Cara would never…’ 

‘You are a very conflicting individual Sif, one minute you are saying to not go near your sister, the next you are trying to imply that she is a better prospective partner than others.’

‘I don’t want anyone, much less you, anywhere near my sister, but to dare suggest she could ever….’

‘Cara would slit her own throat before intentionally hurting another.’

Yes.’ Sif acknowledged. ‘I just….I am still trying to understand this.’

‘There is nothing to understand. There is nothing between Cara and I. She is merely someone who have immense gratitude to for the obvious reasons.’

‘Fine, but if you hurt her…’

‘Just get the clothes.’ Loki growled.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is healing from his wound in the Healing Rooms, meaning Loki and Cara are in close proximity once more.

The story was repeated so often, even Loki was sure he would pass an investigation under the influence of truth serum were one forced on him, his mind automatically repeated that chain of events. 

As soon as Thor woke, he was given the story of supposed events by Cara, who already gave the other healers the same sequence of events. As a result, no one questioned them. There were a few comments regarding their drunken antics and Sif being dangerous, as well as Loki being reprimanded for convincing them to leave the palace in the first place, but other than that, there were no repercussions. 

Cara said nothing, she merely dealt with Thor being in the healing rooms. 

‘She’s not here.’ Loki ignored Thor’s comment as he continued to look around the room. ‘I said….’

‘I heard you.’

‘Why do you even come here?’ Thor asked curiously. ‘We both know you hate it.’

‘My idiot brother nearly ended up skewered, that is why I am here.’ Loki growled. ‘I don’t want you dead. I do not want to be Allfather.’

‘And this has nothing to do with Sif’s sister?’

‘No.’

‘Then why do you stare at her when she is here and look around for her constantly when she is not? You look both in awe and in fear of her.’

‘I do not fear her.’

‘Then what is the issue?’

‘There is no issue.’

‘You’re lying.’

‘You’re wrong.’

‘Loki please do not take…’ Thor ceased speaking as the topic of their conversation entered the room. ‘Healer Cara.’

‘Your Highness.’ She smiled. When she saw Loki, her smile grew ever so slightly. ‘My Prince.’

As with any time Cara called him that, Loki felt his stomach jolt. ‘Lady Cara.’

‘I hope the day has you both well.’

‘All the better for seeing you, right Loki?’ Thor beamed. 

‘Yes.’ Loki gave his brother a warning glare. 

‘I see.’ Cara eyed the older prince carefully. ‘Has Eir given you anything to ease your pains today?’

‘Yes.’ Thor confirmed. 

‘I see. We may need to half it. My Prince, if I may be so bold as to ask you to leave for a minute.’

Loki had to cough to cover his laugh at Cara’s implication that Thor was overmedicated. ‘I better leave.’

‘Goodbye, brother.’ Thor growled. When Loki left, he took a moment to look at Cara who was trying with difficulty not to do the same. ‘Is everything alright?’

‘I am going to need you to strip down to your underwear for me.’ She explained, looking at the different objects she had readied. 

‘What?’ Thor looked at her worriedly. ‘My…’

‘Yes, your underwear. Or if you do not wear any, I can give you a cloth to place over yourself. Usually, it is all the way to naked, but seeing as you are bedding my sister, I feel there should be some modicum of a barrier, don’t you?’

‘What are…?’

‘You need a wash.’

‘I...You are going to wash me?’

‘Yes, so please get undressed. The sooner this is done, the sooner we can both get on with our day.’

The bored, disinterested look to her face was the only reason he did as she requested. He watched as she gently began at his neck and slowly worked her way down his body, changing the water along the way. ‘Is this peculiar for you?’ He asked curiously. 

‘Not particularly. I do this with whatever patients require it. Why do you ask?’

‘Because of Sif.’

‘I had to help wash my own father when he was wounded before, trust me, this is not going to phase me.’

‘Does it feel odd seeing men in this manner?’

‘If the men are unconscious, I have to wash their genitalia for them, including under the foreskin. This is my duty, I need to look after my patients. I do not see this as anything of note. I have to compartmentalise. I dare say that it would be odd if I were to find a partner in one of the men that I have had to attend to in such a manner. But on the bright side, I would never be under any false pretences as to their equipment.’ she joked causing Thor to laugh before wincing in pain from his wound. ‘Sorry.’

‘You are far funnier than I thought you were.’

‘I am hilarious.’ She winked. ‘Right, you can clean certain areas yourself,’ She handed him a fresh cloth. ‘You are conscious and able and I am the wrong Tyrdottir.’

‘Can I ask what is going on between you and Sif?’ Thor inquired, having noted over the past two days that Sif and Cara were very awkward in each others company when Sif came to visit him. 

‘If she has not told you, I will not but she and Loki have argued again and though she apologised, it was still wrong.’

‘I really wish they would try more.’

'It must be very hard for you in the middle.’ Cara sympathised. 

‘And for you also.’ She gave him a perplexed look at that. ‘Well, with the situation with you and my brother.’

‘To the best of my knowledge, there is no situation between him and I. I see him on occasion, we tend to have very pleasant conversations, then we part ways. Can you even call that a comradery?’

‘But the manner in which you speak, how you joke and are with him, it is very personal.’

‘I just made a joke with regards a future potential partner and their manhood with you, would you call such dissimilar?’

‘So you are this way with everyone?’

‘Those I am comfortable with, yes.’ She smiled. ‘Please put on a tunic now.’ She asked before going to get rid of the bowls of warm soapy water. ‘After you dry yourself with this.’ she handed him a towel. Thor looked at her somewhat offended. ‘I highly doubt you would wish for me to do it for you?’

‘No.’

‘Then what is with the “slapped face” look?’

‘Do you….are you attracted to men?’ Cara just looked at him in confusion. ‘It’s just….you seem utterly indifferent to me.’

‘So, because I said for you to dry yourself and get a tunic on you, I am in no way attracted to the opposite sex by your logic?’ Cara asked before erupted into laughter. ‘Norn’s, that is hilarious.’ She had to force herself to breathe properly. ‘No, I am very much attracted to men, though personally, as much as I can acknowledge that to many, my sister included, you have a highly desirable physique, it does little for me. Which, of course, can only be seen as a good thing because of the fact that I do not want to be in competition with my sister for the same men’s affections.’

Still somewhat startled Thor continued to look at her. ‘So what do you find attractive?’

‘A sharp mind that can challenge or agree intellectually with my own.’

‘That is nothing to do with physical appearance though.’ Thor pointed off. 

‘To me, physical attractiveness is not what I look for.’

‘So, how can you say my physique is not one you find attractive? What if you find what you desire in a partner and he looks as I do? Would you not be conflicted then if you do not find such physiques attractive?’

Cara had to pause at that. ‘A valid point. Perhaps I will one day be able to answer that for you, or perhaps not. Only the Norns can say.’ She acknowledged. 'Would you like me to call your brother back in?’

 

‘If he is there, I suspect he may not be.’ 

‘You do not give him give him enough credit, he cares deeply about you. Look how he ensured you would not be reprimanded for what you did, he shouldered the vast majority of the blame and came up with the story to cover for you all.’

‘’If he cares so greatly for me and does such to assist me, then why did he not feel as though he could not tell me what she was doing?’

‘You cannot ask yourself that, or him for that matter. That is something that he would not answer, for the simple reason that he felt he could not. He was made to feel alone and she also went out of her way to compare you both constantly too, as a way to put him down, so that means, to Loki, you were something incredibly negative. Though it is clear he is working through it all.’

‘I should have seen it, he is my little brother, I swore to protect him as a youth but I have failed him. I could not even do that for fourteen hundred years. I have been so absorbed in my own life. 

‘A person who is good at manipulation will know how to hide their actions, will hide how they treat their victim in front of others so that they are not revealed. You did not see it because of her extrovert and cheerful external persona and Loki’s more sedate and naturally quieter one.’ Cara explained. ‘And it is natural to put ourselves first, we all do it.’

‘How are you so knowledgeable of this?’

‘I spent two centuries learning all about this to be a healer, plus I took the electives that would assist me in getting to be one. It is my job to know, though more often, it is the men that are the perpetrators and the women the victims, both genders can be guilty of being either.’

‘I never realised….’

‘You and your brother are the men they choose to do this to. Men taught to respect women, to not raise a hand to a woman, they are their prime targets.’

‘I would never be…’

‘Everyone says they would not be the one to be caught in such a situation, that they would not stand for it, and many would walk after the first incident, it’s true but they prey on insecurities. They find your weakness and they pick at it like little wounds until the fester and you are left broken in their wake.’

‘Loki does not have….’

‘Loki is Aesir, he has aspects of himself he is not happy with, the same as all of the rest of us.’

‘I don’t….’

‘Everyone does.’ Cara corrected. 

‘Even you?’

‘Even me.’ She confirmed. ‘I will see if he is still there.’

When Cara went outside, Loki was reading nearby. 

‘I always had to force myself to try and finish that.’

Loki looked up in shock. ‘Really?’

‘No, that was a barefaced lie, I love it.’ She confessed with a smile. 

‘It’s not particularly long.’

‘It does not have to be War and Peace to be a good book though.’

‘Good point.’ He acknowledged. ‘Is everything okay with my idiot brother?’

‘Yes, he’s fine. I just assumed you did not want to see your brother getting washed.’

‘That is possibly the understatement of the century.’ Loki confessed. ‘Is that not weird for you?’

‘No, to me, it is just something that needs doing, same as you sharpening your weapons or cleaning your boots.’

‘I rather clean my boots by hand and brush.’ 

‘But to clean them is essential, same as this.’

‘I rather wash a pig than him though.’

‘I wash my patients, regardless of age, gender, standing in society, it needs to be done no matter what. Though some are easier than others.’

‘And Thor?’

‘Prince Thor was a task I had to perform for the betterment of his health, nothing more.’ She assured him. ‘My sister and I do not share the same interest in that area.’

Loki smiled and returned to the room. His gaze on Cara the entire time.

‘You’re too obvious.’ Thor commented. 

‘You’re talking nonsense.’ Loki growled, his eyes still firmly on Cara. 

‘Loki, I was talking to you for the bones of the last two hours, including that interruption, the most of which I have yet to see you cease looking for or at her, plus the fact that you have yet to ask me how I even am. Cease the pretences Loki, it is not me you are here to see.’

‘I don’t…’

‘You’re blushing.’

‘Shut up.’

‘I am suspicious that the feelings you have are mutual.’

‘What would you know?’

‘Well, if she is anything like her sister.’

‘Cara is far superior to Sif.’

‘Perhaps in your opinion.’ Thor smirked. ‘That would be something of note, if we both ended up being with a Tyrdottir.’  
.  
‘Not happening.’

‘I am not as certain.’


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor heals and is allowed leave the healing rooms, sadly that reduces the time Loki can spend observing Cara, but when Tyr invites the majority of Asgard to his home for a party in his wife's honour, Loki cannot refuse the chance to see more of her again, but is she even there?

If Loki was honest, he was never more disappointed to see his brother up and about again because it meant he could no longer find a simple reason to be around Cara was decreased also. 

He felt as though he was being cursed regarding not seeing her as frequently as he had become accustomed to while Thor was recovering, until the Norns saw fit to shine their fortunes on him once more by making it that Tyr was celebrating his wife’s three thousandth Name’s Day at his home and everyone that was anyone in Asgard was invited, including his close friend, Odin and his family. 

He used the opportunity as a chance to see Cara’s home in more detail and interest than he had paid it before in hopes to understand her more. On their arrival, Sif and Thor rushed off to spend time alone together but Loki merely stood and observed his environs. 

He was informed that Cara was not there. Her father smiling proudly as he informed them all that Eir had brought her to a highly esteemed event for only the most capable of healers, and ensuring it was known that Cara was youngest ever healer to be brought. 

‘Well deserved.’ Odin stated. Frigga nodded in agreement. ‘She is a credit to you, Tyr. Both of your daughters are, and young Lucas, of course.’

‘I was fortunate with them, my friend. Lucas and Sif were at an age where they could have reacted so badly when Cisa passed away, they accepted it and mourned her in a healthy manner. And though Cara was so young, I feel like the experience of losing her mother, something she could not have fully understood at such a young age, it turned her into the woman she is now. It instilled in her the need to tend to others.’ 

Loki sat listening and saying nothing. There was nothing for him to say. He knew Tyr’s first wife, Cisa had died years ago but nothing else. It was clearly longer ago than he realised if Cara was not even old enough to recall her. 

The day of the feast arrived and Loki, if he were honest, had to admit that Cara, from what he had gathered from her childhood home, was truly a product of her environs. Her demeanour and the manner in which she was to him, it seemed very much in keeping with the home life she was raised with. It fascinated him that with his observations in court, as well as his experiences with Lucia, that there were truly good people in the realm. It gave him hope. Tyr, for a General and a large built man, never raised his voice and though he was known to have killed thousands of men in battle, there was none of the aggression he had heard of in the stories shown in his home. 

Loki was sauntering through the reading room of Tyr’s home, noting many of his own favourite titles as he did so. It was not as grand as the palace library but it was clear that it was a home of avid readers and that the books there was the result of constant collecting, clearly for longer than the current two generations that filled the home. It was when he noted a hound on a rug, eyeing him suspiciously, did he realise he had not been as alone as he had assumed he was in the large room. In the corner, there was a large reading chair and in it an occupant who smiled warmly at him. 'Hello.’

‘I...You...Hello.’

‘You seem somewhat startled by my being here, what with it being my family home.’ Cara laughed, rising from the chair. 

‘I...Your father said you were on Alfheim.’

‘I was.’

‘And that you would miss the celebration.’

‘I may have fibbed.’ Her smile turned sly.

‘I...What?’

‘I lied to him.’ Cara confessed, looking embarrassed. ‘I wanted to surprise him.’

‘So Eir did not bring you to some healing event?’

‘It was the Congress of Healers, and yes, I was there with her, but I fibbed as to what day it ended so to surprise my father, and if I am completely honest, on a selfish level so I could avoid hosting duties.’

‘I thought you were okay with others, you never seem too ill-at-ease.’

‘I enjoy others, I just am not too fond of people coming to me when I am not working, especially when I am eating, and them insisting on telling me, in minute detail, their ailments.’ Loki winced. ‘Yes, eating food and hearing a soldier describe his foot fungus is not conducive to a pleasant meal.’ 

‘No, most certainly not.’ Loki concurred, grimacing at the thought. ‘How are you?’

‘Very well, thank you. And you, My Prince?’

Loki felt a slight surge of joy at her manner of referencing him. ‘All the better now that you are here.’

Cara’s eyes widened as she blushed. ‘My, that is some statement to make.’ 

Loki seemed to realise that the words he spoke were the ones that he had been thinking in his head. ‘Well, I mean…’

Cara simply laughed. ‘I am pulling your coattails.’ She dismissed. ‘How have Sif and that brother of yours been, not getting into more trouble, I hope.’

‘They are as insufferable as ever, both acting as though nothing is between them so horrifically while the rest of the realm rolls their eyes but thankfully, no more Bilgesnipe or other such events.’

‘You have my sympathies for being forced to endure them, and without the comforts of home too.’

‘Another reason for your lack of announcing yourself, I assume?’ Cara’s face revealed her answer. ‘A smart decision.’

‘Could you not think of something fitting?’

‘No, as you are probably aware, your father is my Godfather.’

‘That, I knew.’ 

‘So I was obliged to be here for everything.’

‘You poor being.’

‘If I can confess, I rather enjoyed it, your home is wonderful.’

‘Yes, I often miss it when I am gone.’

‘So, how much of this room have you read?’

‘Only half, sadly.’ She sighed, sitting back down.

Loki looked around. ‘That is some feat.’

‘I have only read a hundred books or so in the past decade. I am not here enough and with all that I am forced to study for work, my personal reading has taken a significant blow. 

‘You should be ashamed.’ He reprimanded with a smile. 

‘I know, terrible.’

‘What is today's reading?’ She showed him the book on her lap. ‘I have never heard of it.’ He confessed. ‘Do such things interest you?’

‘I like to understand things, even things and situations I cannot understand, so it is interesting.’

‘I do enjoy learning something new.’ He confessed. 

Cara made room for him on the chair beside her. Loki immediately sat down, the pair getting comfortable and discussing the topics of the book as they read, both relishing the company of the other.


	13. Chapter 13

‘Can I be so bold as to ask you something personal?’

It had been two hours since Loki discovered Cara hiding. They had spoken almost non-stop since about books and other such things. ‘Yes, of course.’

‘Your mother…’

‘What of her?’

‘What…?’

‘She died, obviously. Years ago, she lost a baby halfway through a pregnancy, she felt incredibly guilty as she had been travelling a lot and felt that she had caused it to die, so she dismissed her healer and refused to tend to herself. She got an infection, no one knew until it was too late.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I don’t even remember her.’ Cara confessed sadly. ‘I think I do from time to time, but I don’t know if they are memories or just dreams.’

‘That is very difficult.’

‘I am jealous of Sif and Lucas, but mostly Sif as she is the oldest, so she recalls her the most.’

‘Understandable.’

‘Every so often, she gets bothersome and says things that annoy me, like how Mother would feel about something I do as though she is an authority on it, and always in a condescending older sibling way, you know?’

‘I cannot pretend to understand fully that particular situation, but I assume to know from an outside perspective, but it is not fair for her to throw something like that at you.’

‘She is not like that much these days. I mean, she is too old for that at almost seventeen hundred.’

‘Wait, stop, Sif is nearly….wow, and people call me a liar.’

‘What age did she say she was?’

‘Almost fourteen hundred.’

‘Nope, that’s a lie, she is nearly seventeen. Lucas is only fifty years younger than her and I am scraping fifteen soon.’ 

‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘You asked. And it serves her right for her comments about Lucia.’

‘She apologised for that.’ 

‘Try putting toothpaste back in the tube after you push it all out.’

‘What in the realms has toothpaste got to do with this?’

‘My father says it. It is to make you think about what you are saying. Once you say something, you can say sorry a thousand times and atone but the words can never be unsaid.’

‘As you cannot put the toothpaste back, now I understand.’

‘Exactly.’ Cara beamed. ‘I suppose I better go get ready, please excuse me, My Prince.’

Loki bit his lips together and eyed her cautiously. ‘Cara?’ She looked at him with interest. ‘Why do you call me “My Prince”?’ 

‘Do you wish for me to stop?’

‘No, I am just curious. You call Thor “Your Highness” but you call me that.’

‘I feel it suits you more.’ She shrugged. ‘Does it bother you?’

‘Not in the slightest.’ he looked at her again, paying full attention to the colouring of the pupils of her eyes, noting the different shades. ‘Cara?’

‘Mmmh?’

‘May I…?’

‘May you what?’ 

‘Kiss you?’ His voice was a whisper as he gently leant forward, hoping for her consent. Smiling slightly, she nodded and leant forward also, both moving towards one another before taking the final step and pressing their lips together. 

There was a moment of uncertainty before both of them felt more at ease with the situation and kissed with more passion. Both relishing in the enthusiasm of the other. After several minutes, they pulled apart, looking at one another almost warily to see how they would react. 

When Cara didn't seem ready to scream and flee, Loki gave a small smile. ‘You are quite good at that.’ 

‘You’re not too bad yourself.’ She blushed back. 

‘Really?’ 

‘Really.’ She confirmed laughing slightly at the smug face he gave at her saying that. ‘I don’t want to go and get ready.’ She confessed. ‘I will we could just hide here.’

‘Well, your father does not know you’re here, you can remain hidden if you wish, I won’t tell him.’

‘That’s terribly kind of you but if you failed to notice, I said I wish we could hide and he knows you are here and hiding by myself does not have the same appeal.’

‘You would rather be with me?’

‘Yes.’

Loki’s features filled with pride as Cara continued to explain her want to be in his presence. Every time she reiterated such sentiments, he felt bolder and more worthy of them. ‘If I am honest, my eagerness towards this evening’s event has risen exponentially at the thought of you being there.’ She blushed further. ‘I would be honoured, Lady Cara, if I could escort you to dinner tonight and I ask for the great honour of sitting beside you for the duration of it?’

‘I would love that, My Prince.’

Loki smiled again at her calling him such a name. ‘We had best get ready.’ Loki suggested, not too willing to leave her out of sight for fear she would decide everything they had just done was a mistake and decide that she was not interested in him after all. But with a final kiss to the back of her hand, they parted ways to prepare for the feast and festivities. 

Cara was never one to be overly “dolled-up” for events. She always ensured she was presentable and represented her family well but she never took too much time to be overly studious of fashions and trends but as she considered her evening, she found herself more worried about her attire for the evening than she ever had before. She paid attention to small details and even though it took her far longer than usual, Cara put more effort into her preparation for the evening. 

She knew her choice was a good one when Loki stood open-mouthed looking at her when he met her to go into her father’s dining hall, stating more than once how realm stoppingly exquisite she looked. 

‘I must commend you for the choice in dress colour.’ Loki smiled. 

Cara blushed slightly. ‘I thought you would approve, alright.’ She looked down at the green dress she was wearing. 

When she turned up to the meal, she left her family startled on more than one level. She explained her fib which only caused her father and stepmother to become more elated at the surprise of her being there and her appearance causing both to show their approval quite vocally. They also noted her arriving with Loki, something that was noted by everyone present. 

They went along the table to their seats, Loki holding out her chair for her as they sat. The pair sat, smiling and talking with one another quietly as their families watched curiously. 

‘Did you know anything about this?’ Lucas asked Sif and Thor, who were seated by him and his wife. 

‘I knew Loki was sniffing around her but she never said anything.’ Sif growled. 

‘I must confess, I was aware that Loki had interest in Cara, he has shown such in my presence and indeed she has made slight nuances that would suggest she was in some way interested but I never saw anything to indicate that they had been so involved as this.’ Thor admitted. 

‘Well, they are well suited with their lying and backhandedness, if nothing else.’ Sif commented. 

‘I could say it is a trait of both of my sisters if you think her such, considering you say nothing of your relationship with Thor. It is probably from you she learnt it. Though, at least they are not even hiding it, so that makes them more honest than you.’ Lucas countered nonchalantly. Sif glared at her brother. ‘You don’t honestly think you two have anyone fooled into thinking you two are just friends, do you?’ Lucas laughed. ‘You are nowhere near as subtle as you think you are, or quiet for that matter.’ He chuckled as the pair of warriors seemed to become very interested in their plates beside him. 

‘Did you know about this?’ Odin asked his wife, who simply shook her head as she watched her younger son interacting with the young healer. ‘Tyr?’

‘My Cara tells nothing to anyone unless she wishes to. It took me a year to find out it was healing she was studying, all she stated for the longest time was that she was going to Alfheim and studying there for a bit. I paid the school and was told little else until she came home and started the apprenticeship part of her studies here in Asgard.’ The warrior, turned diplomat explained. 

‘Well, this is a wonderful development.’ Frigga beamed. 

‘Yes. A far better match.’ Odin agreed, watching the pair talk animatedly of some matter between themselves, noting how Cara was clearly giving Loki her full and undivided attention. 

When the festivities turned to talking and then to music and dancing, the pair continued to speak as though no other was there, most around them glancing at them curiously from time to time. 

When Loki asked her to dance, Cara accepted, their eyes only on one another as they walked onto the dance floor. Their dancing was as fluid and flowing as it had been the previous time, though there was something more to it this time, something no one watching them would ever be able to deny. Something personal and almost private. 

Again, when they ceased, Loki kissed her hand but this time, he did not let go of it or flee the room, instead, guiding them back to the seats they had previously occupied for a time before they decided to go for a walk together. 

‘Allfather, I feel as though my daughters have stolen not one but both princes.’ Tyr chuckled as they watched the pair leave the hall.

‘I fear as though my sons were very willing and actively part of the entire situation, if not the instigators.’ Odin retorted with the same jovial attitude. ‘Though, I feel I should ask, are they at risk of a father’s wrath?’

‘My daughters are strong women, they do not need me to threaten men for them. I have little reason to feel the need to defend their honour. Before I would ever find out of a man slighting them, I would hear of their slaying him where he stands. And with everything we have learnt of regarding Prince Loki, it lets me know I do not need to worry as to him hurting her. As a father, I could not ask for better.’

There was a slightly awkward silence for a moment in reference to what occurred between Loki and Lucia before anyone spoke again. ‘Nor do we have to concern ourselves with him repeating such a horrific experience again either now, thank the Norns.’ Frigga stated. 

As they walked in the gardens, Loki and Cara said little, instead, they merely took the time to appreciate the quiet and beauty around them in one another’s company. 

‘Will your father be angered?’ Loki asked. 

‘Why ever would he be?’

‘I never asked for permission to court you, instead I walked into his home and boldly acted as I have.’

‘My father would be the first to tell you that he does not own either myself or my sister and the only one to give consent to such courting would be me.’ She explained. ‘He raised us to be strong and independent and would expect any man to show interest in us to respect that.’

‘He takes such pride in you both. What did he think of Machiavelli?’

‘He enjoyed it, as I knew he would.’ She smiled. ‘I love trying to find new books for him.’

‘And your stepmother, is she an avid reader?’

‘No, books are not her thing. She is more into sewing and that, so I find challenges for her when I can too. She is so talented with some form of fabric and a needle.’ She smiled fondly. 

‘Do you mind that he remarried?’

‘He did nothing, from what I can find, to warrant any negative remark against my mother. He was a good and loyal husband to her. Why should he not have happiness again?’

‘It was a political match, I thought?’

‘Both of his marriages were. Do you not think that such marriage can have happiness?’

‘I never really thought too much of it.’ He confessed. 

‘They are happy. Rhonda could not have any children of her own, she caught the pox as a child, so it was something that she was happy about, my father having children. I was so young, I was practically hers to raise. She was there for everything I can recall. I doubt she is too heartbroken about the boring and difficult newborn stage.’

‘Not to mention, the whole pregnancy and childbirth situation.’ 

‘Maybe she was onto something.’ Cara laughed. ‘When you think of what it entails, I would not blame her.’

‘Not that I will ever understand it fully but I have heard it to be very painful.’

‘From my experience with assisting in the delivery of eight babies in my time as a healer, I can confirm that it does not seem to be an overly enjoyable experience, though not one woman seemed to regret it and two of the babies were to the same woman, so it cannot be so bad if she did it again willingly.’

‘Do you think you would want that someday?’

‘You mean, do I want my own children?’ Loki nodded. ‘I am not sure, I have a lot of time yet to think about it. I have a few things I wish to do before I ever consider such things.’ Loki gave a nod in acknowledgement that he thought it a fair answer. ‘What about you, do you want any dark-haired seidr-wielding mischief makers someday?’ 

‘I am expected to have them.’

‘I know, but that is not what I asked. Do you want them? That is an entirely different question.’

Loki shrugged. ‘I am not sure. I guess I am a lot like you, I have things I want to do first. But perhaps in the future….’ he found himself pausing and toying with his fingers. ‘I suppose if I could not even…’

Cara took his hand and held it in her own. ‘You didn’t want that, though. When you do, it will be different, wait and see.’ She smiled reassuringly. 

Loki looked at her and bit his lips together before leaning forward and waiting to see what she would do. He was elated when, a moment later, he felt her lips against his.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their kissing at the party, Cara realises that not everything can be as she would like it, leaving her with some things to think about.

‘Healer Cara?’ Cara was busy ensuring her Healer’s Kit was full when she turned to see Eir looking at her. ‘A moment, please.’

Cara placed everything she was holding down and followed Eir into her office. ‘Have I don’t something wrong?’

‘No, not at all.’ Eir did not look at her as she answered. ‘I just need to speak to you regarding a particular matter.’ 

‘Yes?’

‘Prince Loki?’

‘What of him?’

‘I think you are forgetting that your father invited the majority of Asgard and Vanaheim to the party in his home.’

‘No, I am forgetting nothing. I am fully aware of the sheer numbers that occupied my childhood home for it.’

You sat with Prince Loki.’

‘I did.’ Cara confirmed. ‘I also danced with him and spoke with him in great length regarding Midgardian literature.’ 

‘Is that all?’

‘Can I ask if there is something more to this conversation?’ Cara asked, unsure what Eir could be implying. 

‘When did this begin?’

‘When did what begin?’

‘This relationship between yourself and the prince.’ 

‘At my father’s, on that day. I bumped into Loki in the library and it just happened.’

‘So nothing before?’ 

‘No.’ 

Eir nodded her head. ‘People will talk, you know? Accuse you of fabricating lies to punish Lucia for being with the prince. How you both concocted a plan to get rid of her.’

Cara frowned. ‘They “will” talk or they are already talking?’ She asked. Eir’s pursed lips told her the answer to her question. ‘We spoke a few times since everything happened, then of course, when Prince Thor was here with his injury, we spoke more. We enjoyed speaking with one another as we share similar interests, as a result, it just happened.’ She explained. ‘Does this affect my job?’

‘No.’ Eir’s tone did not convince her. ‘It will, in many ways, however, cause tension.’

‘How so?’

‘Prince Loki is a prince.’

‘I had gathered, it is, in fact, in the title. I was told this the day I met him when I was a mere three hundred years old. I know him most of my life since I can remember actually. My father is his Godfather,’ Cara stated, noting Eir’s facial expressions. ‘Is this to do with my family’s closeness to the House of Odin also? Is that part of this? My name and title never mattered before, whyever would it matter now?’

Eir gave her an empathetic look. ‘Because before, you were not rubbing noses in it. Now, this courtship being permitted is a stark reminder to them all of what you were born to and that will cause tension.’

‘So my career or my relationships outside of it, that is what you are saying?’ Cara asked.

‘I would never ask such a thing of you or any of my Healers, Cara. So long as you do not neglect your duties while here in the healing rooms, it is none of my business who you or any other healer calls their partner. If you are scheduled to be here and you are here, there is no issue, if you fail to be here, then there are concerns on my behalf, as I know you know and respect. Your personal life has altered but you are still early for every shift and stay after to ensure everything is in order and often cover for those who cannot come, and do not think I did not see your assistance the other day with that training accident guard, I saw you go outside the door for a moment and come back in. Am I right in saying you had something cancelled?’

‘I was supposed to meet Loki for dinner but I was needed here.’ She nodded. ‘I needed to get a guard to tell him.’ 

Eir gave her a small proud smile. ‘I am not going to ask you to sacrifice a potential happiness with someone that clearly makes you happy.’ Her smile fell and she became serious again. ‘It will hamper your chances of rising in ranks as a healer, I should warn you. I feel I need to be honest and say that. You can never entertain the idea of being Head Healer if you remain in a relationship with His Highness.’ Cara’s face told of her shock at that. ‘The Head Healer has to lead all tendings of the royal family. You will be unable to do so if you continue this relationship. As it stands, you can no longer be involved in any treatment and care of Prince Loki.’

‘I understand.’ Cara nodded, unable to disguise her feelings on the revelation. 

‘I am sorry, Cara. I just felt I needed to tell you.’

‘No, I understand completely, thank you for your honesty. It allows me to know what it is I am doing and allows me to make informed decisions.’ Cara gave a small smile. 

‘Until then, you need to finish readying your kit and come with me.’

‘What is it?’

‘The Allfather has fallen into an Odinsleep, you recall the last one fro during your training?’

‘But you said I….’

‘Until such time as it is officially recognised as a courtship, you are a healer first and foremost.’ Eir explained. ‘With nothing officiated, the Allfather is not seen as anything other than your king.’

Cara said nothing more as she walked swiftly out of the office and back to her station to ready her kit. She noted Amie standing nearby waiting with her own one, watching her studiously. Thinking of what Eir had said, she pursed her lips and continued to ready herself. 

A few minutes later, Eir walked out of her office and without saying anything to either healer, she headed towards the door. When Cara began to follow after her, Amie paused. ‘You cannot be serious?’

‘Amie.’ Eir warned. 

‘How can this even be allowed?’ The other healer demanded. 

‘The Allmother ordered all available healers, we have five of us here today in total, so all five will be involved.’ Eir explained.

Cara felt herself becoming silently enraged at the sheer manner that Amie was speaking regarding her, yet not even involving her in the conversation. ‘It is fine, Eir. I will remain here for fear it causes an issue.’ She stated, turning to put her kit back on the table. 

‘The Allmother ordered all available healers.’ Eir reiterated. 

‘But it is clear that such requests from the Queen and Allmother are not as important as ensuring to put me in my place. I am sure the Allfather would understand, were he conscious to give us his thoughts.’ She stared Amie down. ‘I will wait here. I suppose it is for the best, it would not do to have the healing rooms unmanned at this hour of the day. It is almost time for the cooks and maids to prepare for dinner.’

‘I suppose not,' Eir conceded. ‘If the Allmother disagrees with such sentiments, I will call on you.’

‘Of course.’ Cara smiled. 

The two healers left and Cara sighed to herself. Amie was never overly fond of her, she always took issue with Cara being born to wealth and standing, and that was not acceptable to the other healer. Anything Cara ever achieved, Amie accused her of having never truly earned it, as well as having more than a few comments regarding her running along back to her life of balls and high society living throughout all of her training, but Cara never let that get her down, she used it to spur herself on. She replayed Eir’s words again regarding how continuing to court with Loki would affect her ability to rise the ranks, which forced her to have to think of what were her priorities in all of this, a chance to excel in the career she always wanted, to perhaps the top of her field, or to accept a smaller role but have a chance of happiness with a man that made her feel so incredibly happy. In the whole of her life, Cara never felt so conflicted. 

*

Loki stood with his brother as Frigga sat on the bed next to her husband, speaking quietly with him as they waited for Eir to return with the rest of the available healers, the two that had already arrived ensuring he was comfortable as they waited for the others. He knew that Cara was working so he looked forward to seeing her. 

When Eir entered the room with only one other healer, he frowned. He also noticed the tension between the two healers as soon as they entered the room, both of them looking at him specifically as they did so. He was something of a suspicious being naturally, but even Thor and Frigga noted the looks Loki received from both healers on their arrival, as well as the difference between the looks they gave. Both his mother and brother looked to him for some manner of explanation but all he could do is shrug as he genuinely had no idea what is going on. 

The healers worked for a time on the stricken king and for the entirety of it, his family remained a short distance away, watching intently, though every so often, Loki’s attention would go to the door, expecting it to open and for Cara to enter. 

When everything that could be done for the Allfather was done and he lay resting within his golden shield, that assisted protecting and healing him, the healers readied themselves to leave once more. 

‘I will return soon to check on his Majesty.’ Eir promised with a smile as she readied to leave. 

‘Thank you.’ Frigga’s tone and demeanour did not match the grateful words she used. 

‘Of course.’ Eir bowed slightly, immediately noting the coldness in the Queen’s interaction. ‘I will also bring the literature you requested of me.’

‘That would be great, thank you.’ Again, the Allmother sounded anything but pleased. ‘Oh, and Eir?’

‘Yes, Allmother?’ The healer turned towards the Queen again, having turned to usher her healers from the room. 

‘The next time I say “all available healers”, I mean all, not leaving one to twiddle their thumbs in the healing rooms idly, am I clear?’

Eir gave a momentary glance to Amie, who was very much interested in the floor. ‘Of course, Allmother.’ Eir bowed. 

‘The life and care of the Allfather supersedes any other protocol for your healers unless there is another actual emergency, is that understood?’ Frigga walked forward, almost as though she was a cat prowling, her eyes to Eir and the healer she noticed could not meet her eye. 

‘Of course, Allmother.’

‘When you return later, bring all your available healing staff, and I mean all.’ She ordered with a regal manner that only the Allmother could ever hope to possess and that left no room for question or misinterpretation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.....it is called Maelstrom!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What occurs after Cara is kept from the Allfather's treatment

Cara’s way of dealing with irritation was to focus on a task, and because she felt that a mundane but meticulous task would help her, she decided to focus on the cleaning of the Healing Rooms. By the time the other healers returned, she had scrubbed the healing room floors on her hands and knees and it was clear to see. All the supplies were refilled and all of the linen was neatly stored also. 

Eir pursed her lips as she looked around the now immaculate room. If she was a betting woman, Eir would wager the floor of her healing rooms were more hygienic than the kitchens, the mess hall, the dining room and the royal family’s private quarters. If anything, she imagined it to be something akin to the Allfather’s protective shield. ‘Cara, a moment, please.’

Cara clenched her jaw but did as instructed and followed the older healer. When they entered Eir’s office and she closed the door, she indicated for Cara to sit, but the younger woman remained standing, looking at her in a manner that told Eir that she was clearly seething. ‘Thank you, the rooms have never looked so well.’

‘Yet, I am unfit to be here in most’s eyes. I could never possibly be capable of such tasks, I must have paid someone to do them for me?’

‘Healer Amie is of the old stock.’

‘Been a classist wagon is not being of “old stock”. You are of the “old stock” and do not act as she does. I do not expect to be given praise for no good reason, I wish to earn it based on merit and hard work.’ Cara snarled. Eir said nothing. ‘I am here every day, before her I might add, working my ass off, the same as every other healer here. I scrubbed and scrubbed at the beginning, the same as the rest of the apprentices. I studied and applied the theory I was taught as all others did. I could literally sit in my father's home and play the piano all day if all I wanted in life was to have it easy but I want to be here. I want to help others as best I can and I am being punished for actually wanting to do something with my life other than sitting around waiting for a man to marry.’

‘You are in an unenviable position.’ Eir stated, seeing that being allowed to voice her anger was actually assisting Cara. ‘If you sat around all day and played piano, you would be labelled as lazy and useless by the exact same people will label you as privileged and accuse you of being in want of being deemed a “saviour” for using what you have to help others.’

‘I am no fool, I am aware I was born to a family of name and wealth but I cannot help that. The same as no one can help what they are born into. I am not defined by my father's title, that is his, he earned that by putting his life on the line for King and realm. I have always wanted to earn the title of healer by putting myself out and dealing with whatever came my way, no shying away, no using my father's name an influence to ensure I do not have to do anything unpleasant that I wish not to do. Have I ever shied from what you have asked of me no matter how mundane or gruesome?’

‘Not once.’ Eir nodded in agreement. ‘You are always the first to roll up your sleeves and do what needs doing.’ She walked over to Cara. ‘The day you applied to train with us, it was I that read your application. At first, I thought is a hoax. Why would someone of immense wealth want to work a long, tedious and extremely difficult job but I decided to see what you had to say, so I decided to interview you myself. Your scores from your pre-course in Alfheim were perfect and within two sentences, I realise just how much you wanted this. I knew the first day I've found the future head Healer to the Aesir palace.’

Cara swallowed. ‘But not now.’

Eir sighed. ‘If you continue on this path, then no.’

‘And you think I should not?’

‘I think you'd be in a very difficult position.’

‘May I ask, what is your greatest regret?’ Eir frowned. ‘We all go through life deciding what we think is the right path for ourselves but to do so, we often have to choose one that does not permit us to do something which we would like to do. No one gets through life without regrets, what is yours?’

‘I always wished I had married. Children were never something I wished myself, as much as I adore them, but a partner, someone to be there for me and for me to be there for them, that is the one thing that should I have had my time over, I would choose differently. I thought to get ahead, I needed to sacrifice that. I was incredibly wrong, I never realised I could have both if I just made small sacrifices along the way. I only realised that when it was too late.’ She explained. ‘Is that how you see this? A moment where you may look back upon with regret?’

‘Perhaps, I guess only time will tell.’

‘Get yourself changed, you smell incredibly like disinfectant and get yourself something to eat. The Allmother has made it explicitly clear, all available heaters are to be there this evening.’ Cara frowned. ‘Your absence was noted by the Allmother, and she was not best pleased.’

‘How? The Allmother could not possibly know my work schedule.’

‘Is Prince Loki aware of it? Cara nodded. ‘Then, that is how she knows.’

Cara said nothing more as she turned to do as she was instructed and ready herself for the afternoon and to return to the Allfather with the other healers later in the day.

The tension was palpable as she walked past Amie but Cara kept her head held high. She knew by the other healer’s face that she could not fault Cara’s work in cleaning the rooms. 

Cara had just finished pinning her hair up again when there was a knock on her door. Confused as to who it could possibly be, she opened the door. Oh, Hello.’

‘You are working today, correct?’

Cara indicated to her uniform. ‘There is no such thing as a half day in this job, you are either working or you are not. I just needed to get changed now because my other uniform apparently makes me smell like cleaning products.’

‘Then why did you not come to assist with my Father?’

Cara bit the inside of your cheek and she recalled Eir’s words once more. ‘I’m afraid I was needed elsewhere.’

‘What could possibly be more important than my father, your king? It cannot possibly have been too important if your greatest issue afterwards was smelling like cleaning agents.’ Loki asked. ‘Have I….Are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?’

Cara gave him the reassuring smile, knowing that for all of their work to build his confidence, he was still worrying over little things. ‘No, nothing of the sort.’ She gently caressed his cheek as she knew him to like when in need of reassurance. ‘I just had to deal with other things but I am just about ready go back to work now and I will be there to assist with whatever is needed for him this evening.’

Loki looked at her, noting that she seemed to be avoiding something. ‘Am I right in saying that you are not working tomorrow?’

‘I am not scheduled in, no. I am off for the next two days.’

‘Come for a ride with me, please.’

‘I have no horse.’

‘I will have one ready for you.’

‘What time?’

His face lit up when he realised how enthusiastic she was. ‘Eight, in the morning.’

‘So early?’

‘It’s a bit of a journey. So dress accordingly.’

‘Then I guess I will see you at eight so.’ She confirmed. ‘Where?’

‘Here will be fine if that suits you?’

‘Here at eight so.’ She nodded. ‘Do not keep me waiting.’ She smiled and he bowed slightly. 

‘I never dream of it.’ Loki sore, his smile growing as she leant forward and kissed him which he reciprocated happily. ‘Until then.’

‘Will you be present in your father's chambers later?’

‘More than likely. Mother will want us both to be there.’

‘Then I may see you then.’

‘I hope I will.’


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Cara have a day out of the palace together, with interesting results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though Cara and Loki are dating with over a month, this is the first time they have a date outside of the palace.

Cara stood waiting, dressed as Loki had suggested, like one going for a country ride. The clock beside her bed ticking, telling her that Loki was due in 10 minutes time. In the month since her father’s gathering at his home, they had spent time together, just the two of them, but this caused her to pace anxiously. When there was a knock on her door, she expected it to be Alfred telling her that Loki was cancelling their day together, but when she opened it, she was startled to see Loki looking at her. ‘You are early.’

‘I promised the lady I would not keep her waiting.’ Cara bit her lips together bashfully. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then, please, let us not waste any more time in this palace. Let us go.’ He extended his arm to her, elated to see her take it immediately. 

He watched as Cara mounted her horse with such ease that it was clear she was well used to riding horses. ‘He’s a fine animal.’ She commented, rubbing her horse’s neck. ‘Is it a brother or son to yours?’

‘A son.’ Loki beamed, delighted by her ability to note the likeness in the horses. ‘One of his first.’

‘I take it he has sired many more since if this is the result?’

‘He has indeed.’ Loki clapped his horse’s neck. ‘We will be having lunch out today also, a small picnic if that is alright?’

‘I suppose it will have to suffice.’ She joked, unable to stop herself smiling at how he had remembered her likes and dislikes from their countless conversations and was able to ascertain that she would like such an event. ‘That would be wonderful, thank you.’

Loki gave her an equally radiant smile as he turned his horse to the yard exit, Cara urged hers to his one’s side before the pair before they started a trot to the edge of the city and into the green forest lands that surrounded it. 

They rode for over a significant time before Loki pulled on his horse’s reins and dismounted. ‘This is somewhere I have been wanting to bring you.’ He explained as he held her horse still while she dismounted. 

‘If this is what I think it is, I have heard of it and have wanted to come here for the longest time.’ She looked around, her ears picking up noises that made her more suspicious as to their whereabouts. 

‘Let me see if your suspicions are correct.’ Loki urged her forward, a sly grin on his face. 

As the water cascaded down over the falls and crashed to the ground below, Loki watched as Cara stood in awe at them. ‘They are divine.’

‘So you have never seen these before?’

‘No, I only heard my father and siblings talk about it.’ 

‘I thought someone as well read as you would have seen it long before now.’

‘I always planned to but never got a chance.’ she stated, looking at the water flowing past them and towards the city. ‘Asgard’s life source.’

‘Without it, this would be nothing more than a barren rock, floating through space, but with it, we get to call this our home.’ Loki agreed. 

‘Amazing.’

Loki watched Cara take in her surrounds, adoring that he was the one to show her something she had always wanted to see. ‘I love it here.’

Cara turned and smiled at him. ‘Thank you for this.’ She walked over to him and looked into his eyes. ‘It is so beautiful.’ 

‘Not as beautiful as you.’ Cara blushed at his words and leant up to kiss him. It was only a moment before he reciprocated the action. After a moment he pulled back. ‘I...We better go have something to eat soon.’

‘It is hardly lunchtime yet, is it?’

‘It is almost noon.’ Loki informed her. ‘I wish to have a meal with you later also and I know you promised to meet your father this evening when he is at the palace.’

‘Thank you.’

Loki’s brows knitted together. ‘What for?’

‘Listening to me enough to know that.’ Cara bit her lips together. ‘For always listening to me so that you knew how to make this such a wonderful day.’

‘It is my pleasure. If I am to be honest, I love this place so much that I wanted to come here myself also. I am being slightly selfish for that.’ He confessed. 

‘Knowing that we like the same things….’ Cara gave a small smile.

‘Lucia…’ Loki’s tone showed his thoughts on even saying that name. ‘I had not come here in so long because the time I brought her here, she scoffed at it. After everything, it was one of the first places I came back to. The day after everything, I spent it all here, just me, thinking to myself.'

‘Do not allow that woman occupy your thoughts any longer.’ Cara insisted. ‘Do not allow her to encroach on your happiness.’ 

‘You’re right.’

‘Of course, I am.’ She beamed. ‘Now, what have you thought of for lunch?’

Loki was grateful for her manner in getting his mind off Lucia. ‘Some nice light foods that are easy on the stomach when riding. But I made sure your favourites are included.’

‘And what, pray tell, are my favourites, My Prince?’

‘Are you wishing to test how much attention I have been paying during our meals together?’ Loki smirked knowingly. 

‘Perhaps I am. I must confess, I am curious, am I so easy to predict?’

‘I am just very astute.’ Loki winked, causing her to laugh slightly. 

‘We shall have to see.’

Unsurprisingly, Loki had done his research and had chosen foods that he had noted that she had liked, something she was unable to deny the moment he used his seidr to magic their food onto a blanket for them. Sitting in a secluded part of the forest, the pair ate their food like any normal couple, no royal protocol, no grandeur befitting their station, just two young beings, enjoying a picnic together. 

After their food, they lay on the blanket, talking intermittently between comfortable silences and kissing. 

More than once, Loki was forced to pull back from Cara and groan internally. 

‘Am I doing something wrong?’ Cara asked, noticing his actions. 

‘No…’ He cleared his throat before speaking again hoping she would not notice how it jumped an octave. ‘It’s just...do you recall how I said that with….I mean, before, how I could not get...do what was demanded of me?’ Cara frowned but nodded. ‘I do not have that issue now.’ 

She thought over his words for a moment before her eyes flitted downward to Loki’s crotch, causing her to see very clearly what he had been implying. ‘Oh.’ 

‘Sorry.’ He shifted. 

‘Whatever for?’

‘It…’

‘It is completely natural.’ Cara dismissed. ‘I fear you forget what I do for a living.’

‘Do you often have to deal with such things?’

‘Not overly often, thankfully, but I must know about them regardless.’

‘How am I able to now, but I was not able to before?’

‘Before, when you were alone and not expected to do anything, did this happen?’ she pointed to his crotch. 

‘Sometimes.’

‘The issue was never medical but psychological, so with no pressure on you, there was no reason for your body not to react naturally.’ She explained. Loki simply staring at her. ‘Do I make you feel as though you are under pressure to do anything?’ 

‘No, not at all.’ Loki stated, swallowing hard. 

‘Do you feel as though you would want to do something more personal with me, when the time is right when you feel you are ready?’

Loki inhaled a shaky breath and thought about what she asked, very carefully. ‘Yes.’

‘Then your brain senses that it is not being pressured into anything and your body reacts accordingly in a natural manner.’ She smiled reassuringly, hoping to comfort his worries and concerns. 

‘Sorry.’

‘Again, why are you apologising?’

‘I don’t want you thinking I want to pressure…’

Cara silenced him by biting her bottom lip before gently taking his hand and putting it to her breast, something that shocked him in itself but when he felt what she wanted him to feel within it, he swallowed when he felt the hardened skin within. ‘That is what happens when women feel that way.’ She explained. ‘I will not apologise for that. After all, I am attracted to you in every way. I would have thought that was already obvious.’ She stated unashamedly. 

‘Do you want to…?’

‘I am not the one to have someone try to poison me with an aphrodisiac so I will not push this. I am willing to wait as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable to do anything. If and when such things become something you want and are ready or, then you will see my willingness. Until then, I will never push it.’

‘But if I said I wanted to…?’

‘Then we would when it felt right.’

Loki thought over what she said, but also how she said it. It was casual with no uncertain undertones, she meant it but she also stated it in a non-confrontational manner. She wanted to ensure she was making it clear that she did not want to pressure him. She knew that he was still thinking from time to time of how Lucia had treated him and had not wanted him to think for one moment that she was similar. ‘I want to.’ He declared. 

‘Then we will talk about it.’

‘You like being incredibly prepared for everything, don’t you?’

‘With something like that, I do not want it to be some quick fumble you will regret, you have put such thought into it, it was something that meant so much to you. I do not want you to regret your decision if you feel it is right to do it with me.’ 

‘Do you not hold it in high regard?’

‘If I am honest, not really. I very much want to do it and I look forward to it, but I fear I am too well versed in the literature regarding it that I feel some of the appeal of doing it is lost on me. I also have heard more times than I can count that the first time is awkward and odd, which makes me wonder if it is mostly two beings just fumbling around.’

‘But you do wish to?’

‘Very much so.’ 

Loki leant over and kissed her again, his hand automatically finding its way back to her breast and touching the mound under her dress, loving the feel of it in his hand.

Cara’s reaction was to gasp and grip his shoulder, her body reacting positively to his touch. The more he did it, the more hungry they both seemed to become for more. Before long, they were panting, their pupils wide and their bodies screaming for more still. 

Loki pulled back, having kissed her passionately as his body unconsciously ground against hers, the slight bulge in his pants now painfully begging him for more contact with the object of his desire. 

Cara’s breasts were almost sore inside the bodice of her dress, the material scratching against her skin. Her thighs and ass hurt from lifting it up to make contact with his body, her very being seemingly aware he was so close to making her feel even better. ‘We should stop.’ She stated, not knowing how else to cool the fire within her. 

‘If you want to.’ Loki felt as though he would never be able to get his body to cease blood flow to his groin. 

‘Well, this is hardly the place for such things, you are a prince, after all.’

‘I am fairly certain my being a prince does not impede my ability to function based on the location of such things.’ Loki laughed before looking her in the eye again. ‘Cara?’

‘Yes?’

‘I….I love you.’ She stared at him, completely shocked at his declaration, thinking he would not utter such words again for a considerable time after what Lucia had done to him. ‘I don’t expect you to say it back or anything, I just wanted to tell you.’

‘I love you, Loki.’ She smiled back, hoping to show him it was not some automatic response but a genuine returning of his feelings. ‘How could I not, you are a wonderful and incredible being. I am never as happy as when I am in your company, be it that we are merely talking or like this.’

His reaction was to kiss her again with more passion than before and before long, they were worse than they had been previously and with their earlier actions renewed, it did not take long for Cara’s skirt was to her waist and Loki’s pants were being pulled down, her hands firmly on his ass. 

‘Do you want to do this?’ Cara asked worriedly, fearful that she was coercing him into something he did not want to do.

‘Yes,’ Loki’s answer was swift and loud. ‘Yes, I do. Do you?’ 

‘Yes,’ Cara’s response was more of a gasp.

She had barely said the word when Loki pulled himself free of his underwear and she helped get his pants down enough to release him from them. Slowly, she guided him to where he needed to go, gasping as he made contact with her more than ready body before he began to push into her. They both ensured the other was not in pain as new sensations assaulted them. When Loki finally was fully seated within her, they paused for a moment.

‘You want this?’ Cara checked again. Loki’s response was to kiss her as their fingers intertwined and he began to slowly move his body in a manner that felt natural. Both soon becoming overwhelmed with pleasure in the quiet forest, with only the distant sound of the waterfalls as a backdrop.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Loki get called upon to do different tasks.

Cara bit her lips together as her father spoke to her about the going-ons in his home since she had been there last. Her day in the forests with Loki was something she had not expected and was very much focusing on that and not her father's words. 

When they had both became sated from their actions, she apologised to him for not being more controlled in her behaviour and stopping it from going too fast, but with assurances that he had very much wanted it, she allowed herself to calm down and enjoy it all. Loki could not help himself, he smiled dopily as he wrapped his arm around her, elated to have had his wish of caring for the woman he would do it first with granted. It had a few moments where both were unsure of themselves, where they felt they had not done something right or fumbled, but neither made mention of it. As they lay staring at the sky, they watched the realm around them continue to move. 

Sitting in one of the many rooms that allowed the people of Asgard to converse and meet while in the palace, Cara wanted to hear what her father was saying but her mind kept flitting elsewhere. Tyr was too busy speaking to notice, but Rhonda and Sif seemed to realise the always listening and vigilant healer was not as there in the room with them as her presence would imply. 

‘How is Prince Loki?’ Rhonda asked when Tyr had finished speaking about the Svartalfheim debate that he had been involved in.

‘Fine.’ She stated, her voice higher than she had expected it to be. Sif and Rhonda looked at one another immediately, even Tyr paused. ‘I saw him today and he was fine.’ Cara expanded, relieved her voice was not still high pitched. 

‘Good.’ Her father beamed. ‘That boy would be an utter mess were it not for you.’ He stated proudly. 

‘I dare say he has an even bigger skip in his step these days.’ Rhonda commented lowly in a manner that Tyr could not hear and specifically to Cara, though Sif heard her and seemed to think the same thing that was implied. 

Cara said nothing in return and willed herself to give no indication as to what had transpired that very day. She looked at Sif who clearly seemed bothered by it all.

‘Just as long as my daughters are happy, I hope you are both careful.’ Tyr stated. 

‘Father, please, not again.’ Sif grimaced, having heard her father state time and again about the precautions they should take until they were ready to be mothers.

‘I say it only for your good, Sif.’ It was clear from Tyr’s face, he did not want to think of his two little girls as women with partners. ‘Cara, I mean it, do not risk anything until you are ready. You are young yet.’

‘Yes, Father.’

‘Wait, she only gets a momentary request and I had to endure a twenty-minute lecture on the attitudes of men. There is no justice there.’ Sif exclaimed. 

‘If your sister, a qualified healer, is not able to ascertain how children are created, the talk I need to have with her will not be regarding biological processes but asking her to reconsider her career.’ Tyr pointed out. Sif could not argue. ‘Now, about yourself and Thor.’

‘I think Cara should tell us more about what she and Loki did today.’ Sif turned to her sister, trying to divert the conversation.

‘I think you should be honest for a change Sif, it’s getting embarrassing.’ Cara smiled, bringing the cup of tea to her mouth and smirking, elated that the conversation was no longer on herself and Loki. 

*

‘Cara?’

‘Yes?’ Cara smiled at Eir as she entered the healing rooms. 

‘May I speak with you in my office, please.’

Worried, Cara did as she was requested, noting the other healers looking at her as she did. ‘Yes, Eir?’

‘Two things, you took a contraceptive potion from the cabinet and did not mark it correctly, you put your name down twice instead of the woman it is for in the recipients' side.’

‘It’s not an error.’ Cara explained. 

‘So the...oh, I see, my apologies.’ Eir nodded slightly, realising her error. ‘I assumed an error when I should have known better. If I am honest, such a reason did not come to me when it should have been a possibility.’ 

‘It’s fine. And the other thing?’

Eir was about to speak when she looked at Cara again. ‘You seem to think you are in some manner of trouble.’

‘The manner in which you called me to your office gave me such an impression, if I am honest.’

‘When have I ever had to reprimand you for anything?’

‘The day will come.’ 

‘Well, today is not it. There is a group of Light Elves coming to Asgard for a few weeks, as I assume you know via Prince Loki.’ Cara looked at her confused. ‘He said nothing to you?’

‘He is on an excursion the past week or so, I have only corresponded with him via a note he sent two days ago saying he will be another week or more.’ 

‘I see.’ Eir frowned. ‘And you are not worried?’

‘He is with my sister, I doubt he would do something untoward with her there.’

‘That is true.’

‘So these Light Elves?’

‘Oh yes, I lost my train of thought. They are arriving this week. As you know, we are very much always working with them, so I was hoping, after the congressional meeting we were at, you would assist me with them.’

‘Well, I am free bar what I am working.’ Cara smiled. 

‘I knew I could depend on you. Healer Amie refuses to assist.’ 

Cara pursed her lips, utterly unsurprised by such a statement. Amie, as she noticed long before, was a tad fearful of any work outside of her required hours, something that impeded her advancement and caused her great bitterness when she saw younger healers surpass her in rank. ‘I will be there.’

‘You would be here regardless, wouldn’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Regarding the potion…’

‘I have been using it for two hundred years to simply to make life easier to predict certain aspects of our gender, most young women do these days, one less hassle.’ She stated, hoping that Eir would not see through her half-truth. She had been using the potion in such a manner for the past two hundred years it was true, but now, she wanted to use it for its true purpose. 

‘I wish we had been as quick to think of it back in my day.’ Eir commented. ‘It also has other uses for you now. I dare say you are not ready for such career pauses as children.’

‘With all due respect, Eir. I am not even officially being courted by His Highness, such things would be completely unacceptable.’

‘I am very distantly related into the family, through marriages, not biologically, and all I can say is this role has a lot of protocol, but from what I observe, high birth status is ninety per cent protocol and tradition, half of which makes little sense.’

‘I suppose it does not when you are on the outside looking in.’ Cara acknowledged. ‘To me, it is simply the life I have always known and as a result, accept.’

‘So, how long has it been, a month or so since you and Prince Loki have started this?’

‘Two months.’ Cara answered. ‘Not long off three.’

‘And it is not yet officiated?’

‘No, it can only be so after a minimum of six months, as anything shorter than that is seen as a folly. No high-status family would risk the embarrassment of declaring a courtship and removing particular suitors from the equation for a simple tryst. It would be madness in the eyes of many.’

‘So many rules.’ Eir shook her head. ‘I thought being a Healer had restrictions, it appears you became one to have an easier, less restrictive life.’

Cara could not help laughing. ‘Perhaps.’

‘Well, now that all of that is sorted, I will give you the dates you need and you can ready yourself as required. It will be a mixture of work times and seeing them on our own time. I…’ Cara gave her a knowing smile. ‘Of course, I forgot for a moment, you are well versed in such things.’

‘Yes, I know what is required.’ Cara nodded. ‘Please, just let me know where to be and when and I will be there. I am sure my father and the rest of my family will no doubt be making appearances also. The poor Ljosalfar will be sick of seeing my face by the end of this.’

Eir laughed. ‘Perhaps so. I guess it is times like this that being a diplomats daughter has its advantages.’

‘How so?’

‘Of all of those that will have to be involved in this, you are the only one that will know how to carry yourself properly.’ Eir pointed out. 

*

Cara was tired from juggling her work schedule and assisting Eir in playing host to those visiting from Alfheim. She stifled a yawn as she walked through the corridor thinking of what she needed to do for the evening for herself. When she got to her rooms, she frowned when she saw someone standing by her door. ‘Is everything alright, Alfred?’

‘Healer Cara.’ He bowed slightly. ‘I was asked to retrieve you.’

Cara felt somewhat uneasy at his words. ‘I...Is everyone okay?’

Alfred, figuring out her worry, shook his head. ‘There is nothing wrong. I apologise, I should have realised what this would look like, all things considered.’

Cara nodded slightly. Loki was assisting quell a rebellious group, hurting the future king of Asgard, the second prince or their friends would be a great tactic to dishearten and affect the Aesir and Vanir armies and their morale, as well as a great boost for those against them. So naturally, being a general’s daughter and being well read on war tactics, she worried accordingly. 

‘No, I was merely asked to retrieve you.’

‘Where am I asked to go?’

‘His Highness’ rooms.’ 

Cara’s head tilted slightly. ‘I….He’s back?’

‘They all are, with a few hours or so I believe. His Highness was in the Healing Rooms for a time being seen to before….’ Alfred had barely informed her of Loki being in the healing rooms before she turned to leave, her tiredness forgotten. 

Cara could have walked past the Allfather, Hela and a hundred bilgesnipe and she would not have noticed as she focused on making her way to Loki’s rooms. When she got there, she did not wait for Alfred and rushed in against all protocol. The front rooms were empty of anyone so she walked to the room to his bedroom door and knocked. For a moment, she thought there was no one there. But after a moment, there was a sound from within. 

Cautiously, Loki opened the door, startled to see who was on the other side. ‘Cara?’

‘No, the Allmother, of course, it is me. What….what happened?’ 

Loki rolled his eyes. ‘Thor decided to go having a bravado competition with his merry fools. Their horses got flighty and guess who had Lux gallop pasts, blowing them to the side.’

Cara walked the few steps to him and checked him, noticing it was just one bruise visible on his face. ‘Where else?’

‘My arm and shoulder.’ He answered, leaning into her hand, which had risen to the uninjured part of his face. He put his hand against hers and turned his head slightly, gently pressing his lips to her palm. ‘I missed you.’

‘As I did you.’ She assured him, closing what little distance was still separating them and leaning up to kiss him. As soon as their lips touched, their kisses became hungrier and within minutes, Loki had pulled her through the doorway into his rooms, their hands frantically gripping to one another as they felt the need to be with one another again, after unwanted time apart.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is given the offer of a lifetime, but does not know what to do. Sif hears something in the Healing Rooms that angers her, and Cara is left in turmoil.

Cara and Loki sat across from the Light Elves, listening to them speak of some matter that made little sense to Cara, but which Loki knew in detail, seeing as it was related in some way to the studying of seidr, but she listened intently, loving the look of excitement on Loki’s face at discussing something of a significant passion of his. She smiled when he looked at her, genuine excitement on his face. She excused herself for a moment and headed to the bathroom. 

‘So, Prince Loki,’ He turned to the Light Elf. ‘A healer?’

‘Yes.’ Loki nodded. 

‘When I first heard, I thought it a mistake, but seeing as her father is the great Tyr…’

Loki gave a small grin. ‘Yes, we were fortunate that such allowed this to be.’

‘She has changed you, you are not the boy that came to Alfheim to try and learn some seidr years ago, you are far stronger now, and it is clear to see that she is a part of that.’

Loki smiled fondly. ‘More than likely.’

‘Regarding the Sanctum.’ Loki frowned, having not mentioned the Ljosalfar Sanctum at all during their time talking, the Sanctum was their most sacred temple of learning, only the most gifted seidr wielders from any realm could go there to study. Frigga had gone there, but she was one of three “outsiders” (non-Ljosalfar) to be welcomed there in a generation. ‘I have heard much of your abilities, and though you applied before, you were not ready then, but now….’ 

Loki swallowed, shocked at what he was hearing before turning to the side and seeing Cara looking on shocked. ‘I don’t…’

‘The Sanctum of Alfheim wishes to extend an invitation for you, Prince Loki, to study with them. From what I gather, the Master wishes to learn from you also.’

‘What?’ Loki frowned, barely able to compute what he was hearing. ‘I don’t….I can’t possibly…’

‘Loki!’ He turned to look at Cara. ‘I know this is sudden but this is everything you ever wanted.’ She reminded him. Loki had mentioned the Ljosalfar Sanctum to her a few times and that he dreamt for so long of studying there. ‘You have to do this.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Whyever not?’ 

‘I will let you discuss this. We will require an answer before we leave at the end of the week though.’ The Light Elf rose, bowed and left. 

As soon as he left, Cara walked over and sat beside Loki. ‘You have to take this opportunity. It is everything you ever wanted, why can you not take it?’

‘You.’

‘Me what? Wait, you won’t take it because of me? Are you insane?’ She demanded. ‘I am not a reason to pass this up.’

‘But…’

‘There is no “but” Loki, this is your dream.’ Cara stated.

‘You don’t want me?’

Cara was readying to argue him again when his words seeped into her brain, ‘Wait, you think I am telling you to go because I do not want you?’ The look on his face showed that he did indeed think such a thing. ‘No, I love you, with all of my heart.’

‘Then why….’

‘Because you have always dreamt of this and this is everything you ever wanted and to not strive for it when you have earned the right to study there is not something I can stand by and say nothing about. I want you to achieve everything you are capable of. I want you to do whatever makes you happiest.’ 

‘But we….’

‘Loki, this is your dream, it cannot be dependant on anyone but you and you cannot give it up for anyone.’

‘But I don’t want to lose you.’

‘Lose….You won’t lose me.’ She dismissed. ‘I will be here when you finish, I will come to visit you, you will come here and visit and we will write and when you are done and you return home, we will be stronger than ever and I will still love you.’ She swore. ‘Think of it Loki, the Sanctum, they want you, they want to learn from you, this….this is incredible. You should be elated. I am so proud of you.’ 

Loki, however, did not feel that way. All he saw was losing Cara. ‘I...I need to think about this.’

Cara, seeing his conflict, smiled comfortingly. ‘Of course. Take some time to process it and I will see you in a while. I love you.’ She kissed him and left to give him the space he needed. 

Loki sat and thought about everything. 

*

Sif sat in the Healing Rooms waiting to get a bandage changed. She had almost been bested in training, but while the warrior’s sword glanced her arm, she used the hilt of hers to strike him in the genitals and get him to the floor. She ended up with a cut to the arm, he ended up getting surgery to remove a testicle. She would feel guilty, but as he had four children and did not pay towards any of them, she made a private note to take the other one as soon as she had the chance also. 

While sitting there, waiting for the Healer that was cleaning her wound to return with the bandages, she paid little heed to much around her. She knew that Cara was off today, and as much as she did not like her little sister being around him, she knew she was with Loki. 

It was clear that things had progressed between Cara and Loki and that angered Sif. Even with everything with Lucia and seeing that Loki was not as bad as she had thought, she worried that he was not a good fit for her sensible sister. Also, as the eldest, she felt she had a duty to protect Lucas and Cara, so the idea of a man that she was not even officially courting being intimate with her little sister annoyed her somewhat. She knew it was similar to herself and Thor, but they had been together secretly for over a century, there was a foundation of trust there. Cara and Loki had nowhere near the background she and Thor had. 

‘Why would you even risk it?’ Sif glanced to the side, noting two young apprentices talking. 

‘Well, would you rather be working here for the rest of your life or a princess?’ That comment made her pay closer heed to their words. 

‘So, if Healer Cara is officially courted by Prince Loki, she is...what exactly?’

‘She…’ The young healer turned slightly and her eyes widened to see not just anyone sitting nearby, but the subject of their conversation’s very own sister. ‘I…’

‘What, what occurs if my sister continues this courtship?’ Sif demanded. The two women said nothing. ‘If one of you do not give me an answer…’

‘Healer Cara cannot be considered for any position of significance especially the Head Healer one as the Head Healer is assigned to the Royal Family and if she is being courted by Prince Loki, it is seen as a conflict in interest.’ The first stated fearfully. 

Sif’s face fell as she realised what the apprentice was stating before anger filled her. ‘I...she is blocked from progression...because of Loki?’ She reiterated. The apprentice nodded. Forgetting her bandage change, she stormed out of the rooms. 

*

Loki wandered the gardens, thinking of everything that Cara had said. It was true, it was his dream but the happiness he was experiencing was too incredible to risk also. He never felt so conflicted. He thought about how she said that they would make it work, that she would wait for him, but he thought of all the stories he had read through the years, the odds were very much against them, he did not know what to think. 

The first he knew of Sif being in the gardens as well was when she was in his face, shoving him backwards. ‘What in the Norns is wrong with you?’ He growled. 

‘I told you to stay away from her.’ Sif snarled. 

Loki’s brows furrowed. ‘Are you after taking a hit to the head, you mad woman, why is this an issue now after a few months?’

‘You went and ruined my sister’s life.’ 

‘What?’ Loki became genuinely worried. ‘What’s happened?’

‘You, you happened and now Cara’s whole life plan is obliterated.’

‘What...How…?’ Loki’s eyes widened. ‘Is she pregnant?’

‘If she is, I will castrate you where you stand.’ Sif hissed, appalled by the mere thought. 

‘Then what in the realms are you blathering on about?’ 

‘Cara’s career.’

‘What about it? How in the world's am I affecting that?’

‘Because of you, she will never be able to progress.’

Loki looked at her baffled. ‘How is...what?’

‘Because you are sleeping with my sister, she cannot become Head Healer, everything she ever worked for is being destroyed for you.’ 

‘What...no.’

‘You are royal, meaning she cannot be given one of the top jobs because of you. All her years of study to be the best, gone, for you.’ 

Loki realised what it was that Sif was saying and stared in shock as he processed her words. 

*

When Cara did not hear back from Loki, she began to become concerned. She genuinely thought that when he had time to think about it, he would see that he had to avail of the opportunity. Yes, it would be hard and she knew it would be lonely without him, but for his betterment, she was willing to endure it. 

When she could take no more, she decided to check on Loki. As she came to his rooms, she noticed Alfred instructing another servant to carry a travelling case into the room. Seeing this, she smiled sadly. She would miss Loki, but it was an incredible opportunity for him. She walked in after the servants to see Loki boxing some of his more important books. ‘Alfred, I will need…’ He paused when he saw Cara there. Swallowing hard, he looked to his hand servant. ‘Leave us, please.’ The hand servant bowed slightly and ushered the other servant out in front of him. ‘I didn’t expect…’

‘Do you need a hand with anything?’ Cara offered, as much as she tried, she could not fully mask her sadness, knowing she would not see him again for a time, but she wanted to help, she wanted to make sure he had everything. 

‘No. I have most everything.’

‘Good.’ She gave her best attempt at a smile. ‘This will be hard, Loki. But this will be worth it, a few years there, with your incredible talent, you will do so well.’

‘Cara.’ She looked at him expectantly. ‘I…’ He walked over to her. ‘I need you to not wait for me.’

Cara, who had been focusing on the good of the situation over the bad realised the words he spoke. ‘I...what?’

‘We can’t do this. I don’t want to spend my time in Alfheim focusing on someone I will not see for months at a minimum, it’s not fair. It’ll be too hard, we need to end this.’

‘I...But…’

‘We shouldn’t do it to ourselves, Cara. We will be lonely when we don’t need to be. Why inflict suffering on ourselves. Maybe when I return we will see things the same, maybe when I am gone we will find…’ 

Cara’s eyes filled with tears at his words. ‘Of course, I...It was stupid.’ She shook her head. ‘I mean, you went through so much and you shouldn’t feel burdened down now after it all. I wouldn’t want to...yeah, no. I get it.’ She inhaled deeply to steady herself. 

Loki swallowed, seeing how his words caused her to falter physically as though she had been struck by something. ‘I...I was going to tell you when I was finished packing, I just...I am going to leave today.’ She stared at him wide-eyed. ‘I don’t think I can wait around.’

‘No, of course not.’ Her voice cracked. 

‘Thank you, for everything. You are an incredible being. You’ll go far. You’ll probably be the assistant head healer when I get back.’ He chuckled. 

She nodded, tears blurring her vision as she attempted to smile but it came as more of a pained grimace. ‘I...I hope you are happy there. You deserve it, Loki.’ She looked at him as she said those words. ‘Excuse me.’ She turned and left the room, running through the hallways until she got to her rooms. When she closed the door, she slumped against it and sobbed, feeling as though her heart was being torn from her chest. 

In his rooms, Loki walked out of his bedchambers, his own eyes filled with tears and waved his hand, the duplicate of himself he had speak with Cara fizzling away to nothing. He had to use it to interact with her, if he had tried, he would have never gotten the words out. He thought of her love for her job. He loved her too much to stand between her and her dream, the same as she was urging him to follow his.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara has to deal with her world being turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set 2 months after Loki leaves for Alfheim.

Cara sat staring at the food in front of her. She had not eaten or slept well in quite some time. It was two months since Loki’s departure and in that time, she seemed to just go through everything as though on autopilot. 

‘Cara?’ She looked up from the plate and looked at Eir, standing over her, her hands in front of her, indicating she had not entered the food hall to eat. ‘May I sit here for a moment?’

‘Yes.’ 

Eir sat across from her, watching as Cara toyed with her food. ‘You did not turn up for your health assessment.’

‘If I am not dead or dying, I would think that an indication as to how my health is.’ She stated. ‘I had one six months ago, from what I recall, they are supposed to be annual.’

‘They usually are, yes, but when I see one of my healers looking as though she is ill, I am somewhat obliged to look after her health.’

‘I am fine.’

‘Physically, perhaps you are, though I am still trying to fathom how you are not after losing more weight, you eat hardly anything. But mentally, you are not the girl that entered my Healing Rooms day after day with the same bright smile and initiative that would have seen you outshine even myself on occasion.’

‘I…’ Cara could not say anything to argue that. 

‘Talk to me, Cara. I know you are upset regarding Prince Loki, but this is more than that, surely?’

‘I miss him, I am upset by how it all ended, I will not deny that, to be so happy and for it to be taken away when I thought everything…I have been thinking.’

‘Yes?’

‘I need...Can I be so brazen as to ask for tomorrow off?’

‘Of course, whatever you need.’

‘Thank you.’ She rose from the table and left. 

*

Cara requested a horse readied for her. To her shock, it was Loki’s horse’s son that she was given. Thanking the stable hand, she mounted and brought the horse out of the city and along the trail that she had gone a few times over her time with Loki. When she got to the waterfall, she stood staring at it for a time, thinking to herself, she tied the horse so it could not wander and walked to the water’s edge, looking at the water lapping against the shoreside. Without even thinking, Cara removed her shoes and walked into the water, fully clothed. She walked in until it was to her waist, the biting cold of the water barely registering with her. After a time, she just allowed herself to fall back into it, being momentarily submerged before coming to the surface again. 

‘Cara?’ She turned to see Thor at the side of the water, looking at her as though she was mad. ‘What…are you doing?’ He asked cautiously. 

‘Relaxing.’

‘That water is barely above freezing.’

‘It doesn’t feel like it.’ 

‘Your lips look almost blue.’

‘Perhaps I am part Frost Giant and don’t know it.’ She laughed. 

‘Are you alright?’

‘No, I am half left.’ She joked. 

Thor had no idea what to say or do as he watched Sif’s younger sister walk out of the water, her dress clinging to her. He watched as she walked over to the horse and untied its reins so she could mount once more. ‘Is that not heavy?’ He implied to her sodden dress.

‘Not really.’ She shrugged, turning the horse and leaving without another word to Thor. 

*

Cara walked into the healing rooms, her dress drier than it had been earlier, but still damp. She knocked on Eir’s door and waited for permission to enter. When Eir opened the door, her eyes widened to see the ragged appearance of her always pristine healer. ‘Cara…’

‘If you are free, may I speak with you?’ 

‘Of course.’ Eir made room for her to walk in, noting there was a difference in Cara’s face as she did so. ‘Cara is there a reason you are half wet and…’ Eir put her hand to Cara’s skin. ‘Norns, you are freezing.’

‘I took a walk in the lake.’ 

Eir stared at Cara is disbelief. ‘What?’

‘I….I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me, Eir. For allowing me to study here, for giving me a chance when other healers would have told me to go home and play the Lord’s daughter.’

‘Cara?’

‘I will write one up, but I am asking you to accept my resignation.’

‘What?’

‘My love for this is gone.’ She admitted. ‘I don’t want to be here anymore, and if I don’t want to be here, then I will not give patients the correct care, and if I do that, I will miss something and that could cost someone their life and I cannot risk doing that, it is not fair to them.’

‘So you do care?’

‘I care for their lives, but I do not care about this...I...I have no idea how or why, but the love and passion I had for this has waned, and I think it best if I go now before I hurt someone.’

Eir pursed her lips and took into account Cara’s features, which were far more animated than they had been since Loki had left. ‘You are an incredible healer and a wonderful person, Cara. I am sorry to see you leave.’

‘Thank you, for everything.’ She smiled again. 

‘That is the first smile I have seen since he left.’

‘I found sense in my actions today, even if it does not seem like that to others.’ Cara explained, confusing the Head Healer more. 

*

Tyr, Rhonda, Lucas, his wife and Sif all looked at Cara startled. ‘What?’ Only Lucas could find his voice. 

‘I didn’t stutter. I am leaving Asgard.’

‘Why?’ Sif demanded. 

‘Because I want to, what other explanation is even required. I am not happy, I have not been since…’

‘He left.’ Sif answered angrily.

‘Loki leaving has no impact on me and my career.’ Cara countered. ‘I am not happy at work at present and I want to take time to figure out why before I hurt someone.’ 

Lucas stood forward, between his sisters as he so often found himself doing. ‘That’s reasonable.’

‘Reasona...she was walking around in the lake yesterday fully clothed and submerging herself, how in the Norns in that reasonable? Thor said she was like one not in full control of her mind making jokes.’

‘I needed to wake myself up. I realised why I could not bring myself to put my effort into my work anymore.’

‘So, that’s it. Two hundred years of training, thrown out?’

‘What does it matter to you, Sif? My life is not your concern.’

‘You wanted to be Head Healer in the palace, then a short fling with Loki and you are casting that all away.’

‘When did I ever say I wanted to be Head Healer?’ Cara asked, confused. ‘I don’t want that.’

‘What?’ 

‘I never wanted that. To have to be responsible for the Allfather, are you insane? That is not the sort of pressure I wanted.’

‘But… you always said you wanted to rise as a healer.’

‘Yes, I do, but not to Palace Head Healer, I considered being the Head Army Healer maybe, not the Palace one. That’s entirely different.’

‘Since when?’

‘Since when is it your business, Sif?’ Lucas interjected. ‘This is Cara’s life, what is it to do with us? As long as she is happy.’

‘She has changed everything she wanted.’

‘No, I have not. But if I had, what of it?’ Cara challenged. ‘If I decide to do such a thing, if I decide to have seventeen different paths what does it matter? I am not destitute, I can earn money, so it is not like I am being forced to sell myself, so what does it matter to you?’ Much to the startling of the rest of the house, Cara was in Sif’s face. 

‘What has he done to you?’ Sif asked, looking at her sister. 

‘Listen to yourself.’ Cara scoffed. ‘No one has done anything to me. No, that is a lie, he has done something. He has made me reassess, and upon that reassessment, I have decided that I need to take some time for me, so I am going to do that. I am going to Vanaheim, I am going to see if I can get my love for everything I have worked for back and get back to where I want to be and that is what I want to do, so I am going to do that. Why does this matter to you so much?’

‘Because….’

‘Why Sif? I don’t get involved in your life, I don’t tell you what to do. I am me, Cara Tyrdottir, and I can only be me and I want to be happy, so I will make me happy, it is my duty to make me happy, I am the only one with the power to do that for me.’ 

Tyr had been silently listening until that point, trying to process how his daughter who clearly loved her vocation had become unhappy in it, but on hearing reference to her overall happiness and lack thereof, he inserted himself to the conversation. ‘You’re not happy?’

‘Not right now, no.’

‘And Loki is part of that?’ 

Cara bit her lips together, ‘Well, it is hardly assisting things, but overall, this is not about that, that is not something I can help.’

‘Why did he…?’ Lucas asked. 

‘I don’t know.’ Cara confessed. ‘He thought it best with his going, I think.’ She paused for a moment. ‘Excuse me.’ She left the room. 

Tyr and Rhonda looked at each other in concern before walking after Cara, worried for her. 

‘Are you going to tell her?’ Sif looked at her brother.

‘Tell her what?’ 

‘That you told Loki he ruined her career, so he did what he thought was right for her when all it did was crush the two of them to the extent our sister has given up her dream career and from what I hear, he is not faring much better on Alfheim.’

‘How…?’

‘You literally had your little attack in the middle of the gardens, also, after everything Lucia did to him, how could you shove him? He could have had you done for that if he wanted.’ Sif swallowed. ‘Stop interfering in her life, you started this, don’t add to it.’

‘I did not…’

‘You had him convinced the best thing to do was break up with her.’ Lucas stated slowly. ‘She is heartbroken and she is hurting and you started it.’ 

‘He didn’t have to…’

‘You convinced him that he ruined her career, he did it because he wanted her to be happy, he loved her enough to put her above himself.’ Lucas retorted. ‘That is what you do when you love people.’ He declared, leaving her to think over his words. 

*  
Sif walked into her sister’s old room, there, in the middle of it, she stood looking around. ‘When are you leaving?’

‘First thing.’

‘Cara...I need to tell you something.’

‘Right?’

‘Please don’t hate me.’

‘Did you do something with the explicit intention to hurt me?’

‘No.’

‘Then, I cannot hate you.’

‘The day Loki left, I saw him in the gardens. I didn’t know about the offer for him to go to the Sanctum. I had been in the Healing Rooms, I heard two apprentices discussing you, and more specifically, how being with Loki meant you would never be able to apply for Head Healer.’ Cara frowned at her sister. ‘I thought that you wanted that.’

‘What did you do?’ Cara asked worriedly.

‘I told Loki that being with him was causing you to not be able to…’ Sif tried to explain.

‘You planted the idea that he was holding me back?’

‘Yes.’

‘You are why he…’ Cara swallowed, remembering the pain she felt at his words. 

‘I never realised…I thought I was looking out for everything you were working for. I am so sorry.’

Cara inhaled deeply, her breath shaking slightly. ‘You have a part in this, but you are not the only player, Loki should have spoken to me.’ She stated. ‘I...Did you really hate that it was him that much?’

‘I just wanted you to be everything you wanted to be.’

‘But I was doing that, I was happy.’ Cara declared. 'Why do you hate him so much?'

‘He took your…’ Sif could not bring herself to say the word.

Cara looked at her sister. ‘No, he didn’t.’

‘What?’

‘I was with Gerard of Alfheim for a time, did you think we were talking about chess all day every day?’

‘But….you…’

‘Had I been intimate with Loki, yes, of course, what has that to do with anything, you are on Thor more than his pants are. I never made comment.’ 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘So am I, I am sorry I had you thinking you needed to rear me at my age. I clearly did something to make you think the responsibility was yours, that was my fault.’ Sif swallowed. ‘I cannot blame you for the manner he reacted, that is all him, but you had no right saying anything you did to him without ever asking me first. What if my priority had been Head Healer then I met him and I changed my priorities, what then? That does not give you the right to interfere then either, it is my choice to make. Not yours, Loki’s, anyone’s but mine.’ She stated. ‘I really hope you gain a lot of insight before Thor makes you official, Sif, I really do, because you need it.’ As she left the room.

‘Where…?’ Sif asked, following after her. 

‘I cannot stay here. I need to go.’

‘Cara…’

‘Please, for once, respect my choice.’ Cara did not shout or raise her voice in any manner, she kept it low and calm, Sif doing as she requested, and said no more.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost a century has passed. When Sif has reason to call Cara back to Asgard, are hearts mended, or do the wounds still bleed?

Chapter 

‘So, I am going to put this here and the next time you take it off, it will be all better.’ Cara smiled as she tied the bandage. 

‘Will it hurt?’

‘Not at all.’ Her voice was kind, taking into account the young child being so scared after her ordeal. 

‘You’re the bestest nurse ever.’

‘Oh, thank you. You go ahead now and go play with your friends again, okay. And beware of those plants, alright?’

‘Yes, Healer Cara.’ 

Cara gave a small smile as she watched the child skip back to her friends.

‘Healer Cara?’ 

Cara turned and smiled brightly. ‘Hello, Edvard.’ 

‘I was hoping to catch you. Are you free this evening?’

‘For you, of course.’ She smiled. ‘The usual time?’ 

‘Yes. My mother will of course, insist that you eat with us.’

‘Well, I can hardly say no with the food she makes. I would love to.’ 

‘Until then.’ He beamed before looking over her shoulder and frowning slightly. 

Cara, seeing his actions, turned slightly to see her sister and Thor standing not too far away, looking at them. ‘I will see you all then, Edvard.’ She stated before turning and making her way to the pair. ‘I am surprised to see you here.’

‘You’re working again?’ Sif looked at her sister’s healing bag, a gift from their father to her on her getting accepted to train at the palace. 

‘Yes, a break from everything was all I needed. I am back doing what I love.’

‘That is good news.’ Thor beamed. 

‘So, to what do I owe this visit?’ She asked, looking between them. 

‘I...we are officially engaged.’ Sif stated anxiously. ‘Or we will be, tonight. I didn’t want to you to find out from anyone else.’

‘Congratulations to both of you, for finally taking your heads out of your asses. It only took just shy of two centuries.’ She smiled.

‘Are you coming home for it?’

‘Well, you gave me a few hours notice and I have just been asked to be somewhere this evening that I cannot miss.’ She explained. ‘I can join you tomorrow, but no sooner.’

‘Cara…’ Sif felt hurt by her sister’s actions. 

‘Of course.’ Sif looked to Thor who looked directly back at her. ‘We did literally tell her four hours before, we had right to give her more notice, Sif. If she is busy, she is busy.’ Thor stated. Cara gave him a grateful look. ‘We will see you tomorrow then.’

‘Bright and early.’ Cara promised, before turning and leaving. 

Sif looked like she wanted to argue more, but Thor pulled her away giving her a slight shake of his head. ‘Remember what she said before, leave her live her life.’ He reminded her quietly. 

‘But this…’

‘Will be hard for her. She has not returned to Asgard in almost a century, she has been avoiding it, so we need to respect that. Besides, I think it is fair to say she has other plans for this evening.’

‘You mean that man?’

‘He asked her to his home, where his mother would be cooking dinner. I do not think anyone should risk thwarting her happiness a second time.’ He stated politically. 

‘No.’ Sif conceded, turning and looking after her sister again, who she could see was glancing back with uncertainty at them. 

*

Cara regretted coming the moment she set foot in the great dining hall of the palace. In the years since she left, her father and Rhonda had come to visit every so often, but she had not returned, so there was the slight issue of everyone looking at her, but that was not the reason. The reason was Loki, which in itself was hard, but the way he held another woman around the waist, the smiling he did, that made her want to run and never return. In almost a hundred years, her love for him had not waned. She had hoped when he was done, she could show him that she had meant what she said, but seeing him smiling and laughing with another woman, it crushed her. She forced herself to stand near her family, not looking anywhere that would arouse suspicion as she did so. 

From time to time, she felt people looking at her, but she did not pay attention to them, she simply looked ahead and smiled as required. She spoke very little through everything, but Lucas said nothing, merely gave his younger sister the support he knew from the moment she lay eyes on Loki and the beautiful Amelia, daughter of an Alfheim general. He watched sadly as his sister had her heart broken a second time, and it seemed to hurt no less than before. 

As soon as the meal was done and the speeches were made, Cara bolted from the table with a speed that startled everyone. They watched as she all but ran out the door with barely an “excuse me”. 

She barely got to an outside terrace when she gasped for air, unable to hold herself together any longer. She felt her insides scrunch and tighten as her mind forced her to see Loki and Amelia again and again and feel the pain of his words once more. 

‘Cara?’ She barely registered her father’s voice. ‘Cara, I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.’

‘Why does it hurt so much?’

‘Because you ran before and did not face it ending, and tonight, it was forced in front of you and you were not ready to deal with it.’

‘I thought...if he…’

‘I know.’

‘I feel so foolish.’

‘Love makes us foolish, Sweetheart, there is nothing we can do about it but move on.’ She nodded slightly. ‘Thor let slip you were working as a Healer again?’

‘Yes.’ She whispered. 

‘Did you find your passion once more?’ 

‘Yes.’

‘Good, I am glad you are doing what makes you happy.’

Cara merely nodded. 

*  
Loki thought about how Cara looked after the meal finished. She looked entirely different. Her general appearance was the same, she was recognisable by her facial features, but there was something completely different in her face and her actions at dinner, her lack of eye contact, how she would not speak to anyone, he was concerned for her. He decided to talk to her the next day. 

Walking to the Healing Rooms, he planned his words carefully, thinking over and over of the best way to broach the conversation with her. When he entered, he saw a girl he knew to be an apprentice by her clothing. ‘Hello, is Healer Cara here?’

‘Who?’

Loki frowned. ‘Healer Cara?’

The girl shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, there is no one by that name here.’

‘She...really?’ The girl shook her head and excused herself.

‘Prince Loki.’ He noticed Eir standing nearby. ‘I think you have some out-of-date information.’

‘It would appear so.’

‘Two months after your departure for the Sanctum, Cara tendered her resignation from her post here in the palace.’ His eyes widened. ‘She has not, from what I gather, set foot on Asgard in almost the century.’

‘No….she wouldn’t have. She wanted to be…Why?’

‘I am sorry to say, I cannot answer that for you, all I can tell you is she has not been a practising healer in the most of that time, on this or any other realm.’

‘But she loved…’

‘I fear Cara lost the will to love most everything for a time.’ She gave a slight bow and walked off, leaving Loki reeling from her revelation. 

He walked the hallways thinking over everything. He felt incredibly heartbroken after he left the palace, Cara’s clear heartache was as blatant as his own, but he genuinely thought what he was doing was preserving her lifelong dream, so he forced himself to do it. But hearing now she cast it all aside, that she did not even stay on Asgard...why had Thor never told him that?

He was walking a time before he came to a balcony looking over the terraces. There, he saw a lone figure, standing looking out over Asgard. It did not take him long to ascertain as to who it was he was looking at. 

‘You need to talk to her.’ He turned to see Lucas nearby. 

‘What?’

‘Cara. You need to talk to her.’

‘And say what? It has been almost a century. We have not spoken in so long.’ 

‘The day she decided to leave Asgard, she went to the falls, the ones I know you used to go to very often with her.’ Loki swallowed, knowing Lucas could never even begin to fathom the significance of the falls to their relationship. ‘She was there for hours, and she decided to leave, to give up everything. It was after that she told us her plan to leave Asgard, and Sif admitted to her conversation with you the day you decided to leave. It was also then that she revealed she never once considered the position of Head Healer, that she never wanted that.’ Loki stood open-mouthed. ‘Her preferred position would never have affected her relationship with you.’

‘But Sif…’

‘Was wrong. You should have spoken to Cara yourself openly.’ Lucas stated. ‘I suggest you do so now.’

Loki said nothing, instead watching Cara for a while longer. 

As rain began to fall, something Asgard was not prone to having happen, he watched as she remained standing outside, not moving. Worried, he forced himself to go down to the terrace. When he walked up behind her, Cara remained stoic still. ‘Cara?’ She looked at him, her face filled with sadness. ‘It’s raining.’

‘I gathered, what with the water falling from the sky.’

‘You should get inside.’

‘You should get back to your partner.’ She retorted, her voice void of emotion. 

‘Did you not bring your partner with you?’

Cara scoffed. ‘Who is my partner? My cat?’

‘You have a cat? No, I mean, Thor and Sif saw you with someone yesterday.’

Cara shook her head unable to think of who they could be talking about. ‘No.’ 

‘Something about his mother cooking?’ Loki recalled Thor’s warning to him that Cara had someone new.

Cara frowned for a moment before her eyes filled with realisation. ‘Oh, Edvard? I don’t think it would be appropriate to bring him, to be honest. I think his poor pregnant wife would have something to say about that.’ Loki stared at her. ‘I was arranging to go to their home because his wife is in the final trimester of pregnancy and she needed to see how she was doing. His mother thanks me for making time for that outside of my usual schedule by making me dinner because I go in the evening.’ 

‘He...You’re not…’

‘I have not even looked at anyone. I said that to you before, I would rather be alone than with someone I cannot give myself fully to.’ She reminded him. 

Loki tried to process her words. ‘You left the Healing Rooms.’

‘I was at risk of hurting people. I didn’t want to be a healer anymore, not here. It hurt too much.’

‘But…’

‘What are you waiting for me to say, Loki?

Loki looked at her properly, with no facade for their siblings’ special occasion. ‘I thought you were…’

‘Were what?’

‘Like me. That someone was...hurting you. You are acting so different.’

It took her a moment to understand his meaning. ‘I just cannot play a happy sister, I can’t. I should let you get back to your partner now.’

‘I...she is not my partner.’ 

‘So the arm around her, the laughing and the smiling, that was for my benefit?’

‘I did not want everyone to think I was…’

‘Single and happy?’

‘I am not happy.’

‘And why is that?’

‘Because I ended this to make sure you got where you wanted in your career, and you threw it all away.’

‘No, you never even knew what I wanted, you took my sister’s less than accurate assumption of what I wanted and never even spoke to me about it, then you went and crushed me and left. Now you are back and seem somewhat shocked I was less than joyous at you having done all of that.’

‘I did it for you.’

‘You should have have just spoken to me. I was willing to wait for you. I told you that. I actually spoke to you about it all.’ She retorted. ‘What is it I am doing that has people convinced I cannot think or speak for myself? Sif and you both seem to be under the impression I am incapable of such.’ 

‘No, I never…’ 

‘Loki, you did.’ She corrected. ‘I know you wanted to protect me but you didn’t. You hurt me all the more because you never spoke to me about it.’ Her eyes showed her sadness.

‘I never intended for it to be like that.’ 

'And yet it happened. We cannot change that.'

‘I know.’ He conceded. 

She looked at him, noticing that he was saddened also. ‘Why Loki? We...I need to go.’

‘No…’

‘Yes, I do.’ She insisted sternly. Cara looked him up and down. ‘You look well. I hope the Sanctum is everything you wanted, Loki. I really do.’

‘It is incredible.’ 

‘Good.’ She smiled sadly. ‘I better leave you to get on with your evening. Goodbye Loki.’

‘Cara….’

‘I...Please, I really have to go.’ 

Loki could only stand there and watch as she left. 

*  
Lucas found Cara rushing through the halls. ‘Cara?’

‘I should not have come back.’ 

‘You had to, it’s Sif’s engagement.’ 

‘But doing this is too hard. Seeing him…’ She forced herself to breathe deeply. ‘I need to go.’

‘Running away will solve nothing for you, Cara.’

‘It solves being here and looking at all of this.’ She argued. 

‘And what when the wedding comes?’ Lucas challenged. ‘What will you do then? You are her sister, you will have to be her bridesmaid, Loki is Thor’s brother, he will have to be his groomsman. You will have to depart the hall together, you will have to sit and dine next to one another, you will have to organise together, how will you fair with that?’

‘No one could possibly think that that is a good idea.’ Cara shook her head. ‘I will be more prepared then.’

‘How?’

‘I just will.’

‘No Cara, you won’t, not when you are hiding from it. Where is my sister, where is the girl that risked everything to keep Loki safe, to protect him, where is she?’

‘I am still me.’

‘Cara, you stood in front of the Allfather and Allmother and stated clearly that you would accept if Loki never spoke to you again, so long as he was safe. You stood in front of a full court and declared what happened so to keep him safe, now you cannot even sit at a table with him without bolting from the room. No, you are not the same person, do not lie to me and more importantly, do not lie to yourself.’ She walked off, causing her brother to sigh and shake his head. 

Cara scarpered back to Vanaheim the next morning with only a goodbye to her parents and siblings in the rooms they were staying in within the palace. None of them could convince her to stay any longer as she insisted she had to get back to her patients. She promised to return for the wedding, but if anyone was truly honest, they suspected that Cara would attempt to not be involved in the matter and would either arrive the day of it or even try to skip it. Cara stood at the Bifrost, ready to go, looking back at the city sadly before walking through it and back to Vanaheim.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara feels the need to leave Vanaheim, what occurs when she finds herself on Alfheim?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ilhelenor is a made up word, I found a site that makes up Elvish names including for towns, so there you go, we'll take this then.

Cara sat with her paperwork in front of her, having to fill in everything from her busy day helping Edvard’s wife birth their beautiful little girl. She was happy to be back working as a healer but ever since returning from Asgard, she felt too stationary remaining on Vanaheim. An itch had crawled under her skin and with it, the need to move. 

She spoke with her aunt on a trip to the Vanir palace, something she did every few weeks, just to have someone close by to speak with. At first, her aunt was apprehensive, knowing that part of the reason Cara was okay in Vanaheim was having family there also, but so too did she know her niece needed to find herself as a being. Tyr and Rhonda had long informed her of Cara’s relationship with Loki and Lucas has informed her of its abrupt and harsh end, added to how lost and broken Cara looked on their first few meetings in Vanaheim, her aunt knew that the only way for Cara to grow was to allow herself the chance to do so. So with a promise that the gateway to Vanaheim would always be open to her, Cara went further afield. 

Svartalfheim was long abandoned, so there was little point in going there, Jotunheim, though they were not at war with Vanaheim, her father was Odin’s general and second-in-command at the time of his war with them so she knew better than to go there. Nidavellir was filled with monstrously large dwarves, she would be of little use there, she was not big enough to even assist them. Helheim was the land of the dead, who did not need aid for the obvious reason. Midgard, she found was too hard to be on. War amongst themselves, creating famine to one another and their utter lack of respect for the realm and all lives in it meant she spent all of a week there before rushing off it again, saddened for the beings that fought for what was right, but were forced to endure the terrible actions of others, that scared her. Defeated, she knew one other realm would be better than others but she had actively been avoiding it. 

Arriving on Alfheim, she made it her mission to not go near Ilhelenor, their main city and the location of their Sanctum, that plan lasted all of about two days. The city was the main way to get anywhere in Alfheim, all roads led there, so to get to anywhere, she had to go through it. While there, she realised there was a need for more healers in Alfheim, so she stayed in the city for a small time, cautious not to go too close to the Sanctum for fear of seeing Loki. Part of her decided that this would assist her in getting over her heartache, being closer to him but not actually seeing him. 

The day came, however, that she was requested at the Sanctum, she went, as was her duty, but there was not a Norn she did not pray to that she would not see Loki. she was rushed there, she dealt with the stricken man and left again, as fast as she could. Her heart pounded in her chest the entire time. She could feel Loki was close in her gut, the same feeling she got when he was close before, but not the same dread as the times he was injured, that she was grateful for. 

While at the Sanctum, she did not see Loki, but he most definitely saw her. Standing at a window above the courtyard, he watched her leave. He had been studying when there was a pang in his gut like nothing he experienced before, he felt nauseous and sore at once and rushed from the room for fear he would be ill in the room. He stood to get air back into his lungs when he looked down into the courtyard and frowned. He knew that healers bag. He knew that figure. When she turned and spoke with one of the Sanctum Leaders, his whole body froze. Part of him wanted to rush down and speak with her, but he could not move. As quickly as she had been there, Cara turned and left again. 

‘Prince Loki, are you alright?’ Loki turned slightly to see Genevieve, the Master Light Elf that Cara had been speaking with was beside him. ‘You look ill, will I call back the Healer?’

‘No.’ He shook his head.

‘No you are not alright or no I should not call her back?’

‘Both.’ He answered honestly. 

Since the palace, since Cara’s heartache revealed itself to be now mixed with anger at his not speaking to her, since his ridiculous attempt to bring another woman to his brother’s engagement so to not seem pathetic, he felt worse and worse. His seidr was suffering as a result, something the Masters had noticed immediately upon his return from Asgard. He put himself into literary study and forewent using his seidr publicly for a time so to see if it would improve, but he knew himself, his longing to be close to Cara again was affecting him. “Seidr wielders are sensitive beings” his mother always stated that to him, he was seeing just how much so now. 

‘Is it that Healer is the issue?’ Genevieve questioned. 

‘Her name is Cara.’

‘Okay.’

‘To come here, I...I thought it best to not have her wait for me, to push her away, I thought it was the best thing to do. I was wrong. Upon my last going home, I saw how much so.’

‘I see.’ Genevieve nodded slightly. ‘A healer is probably a good match for a seidr wielder, both sensitive and of the same cloth.’ Loki looked at her, wondering why she would say such a thing. ‘She is in the city, working with the Healers Practise there. Do what you will with that information.’ Was all she added before walking off again. 

For days, Loki contemplated his options. There was only one clear one, he had to speak with her. He had to set things right. What was going to be deemed right, he was uncertain of, but he had to do something. 

It was later that week when the Sanctum permitted its students to leave the confines of it, that he made his way through the streets of Ilhelenor. He had no idea where the Healers Practice was, but as the city was well planned, it would not take long to find it, or so he hoped. 

It did not. It was located in the professions quarter, amongst the legal and other care professional’s buildings. A large building, with a design on the outside that left none wondering what it was. He walked in, forcing himself to breathe and went to the dest, where a young elf looked at him curiously. ‘So sorry to disturb you, but is Healer Cara here by any chance?’

‘I take it you do not have an appointment?’

‘No.’

‘I gathered. No, she is not here at present.’

‘Will she be back soon?’

‘I am not allowed tell anyone anything like that, it is against her privacy.’

‘Of course, I do not want to be a bother. May I make an appointment to meet her this day week?’

‘She never works this day.’

‘Oh.’ Loki did not know what to do. The Sanctum had strict rules regarding going to and from it, and any found to break such rules without proper reason were dismissed from the Sanctum. This would not be deemed worthy. ‘Very well.’

‘There are Healers here now if you really need to see one.’ It was clear the elf did not think him in need of seeing a healer, merely that he was trying to see Cara, which in itself was true. In his tunic and pants, the uniform of the students of the Sanctum, all she knew was he was a non-Elf student there, not that he was indeed the second in line to the throne of Asgard, though that was the point of the Sanctum. There was an elf from the lowliest of backgrounds sleeping in the room next to him, they ate together, read together, trained together, they were equals in the Sanctum, the only thing that mattered was a being's seidr training. They even had a Jotnar there, and in the Sanctum, the war between the realms did not matter.

‘No, it is fine. Hopefully, I will not be in need of their services.’ He joked with a smile. 

‘Hopefully not.’ The elf agreed. 

‘I am sorry to have bothered you.’

‘Will I tell her you were looking for her?’

‘No, hopefully I will see her around.’ Loki stated sadly before leaving. 

He sat, looking at the fountain from his seat beside it, thinking to himself as what to do with himself. He needed to try and talk to her. 

*  
Cara walked around the city quietly, thinking to herself. She had assisted her sister as best she could with her wedding. It was deemed handy to have her on Alfheim, and as such, she had been used to acquire anything needed for the royal nuptials. For this reason, Cara was half wishing she was able to work more, so she would not be as involved, but Elvish laws stated Healers could not work more than five days in seven, so instead, armed with this knowledge, her family used her to do what was required, much to her chagrin.

She walked through the streets on her way to the fountain, one of her favourite places to read, as it reminded her of Asgard, though she would not admit to herself it reminded her of the falls. She was there for a time before she decided it was best to try and get something to eat. Rising, she walked through the elves that surrounding it, apologising for disturbing them as she went. When one moved their leg as she was trying to get passed them and tripped on them, she almost fell onto the lap of one sitting on a chair by the fountain. When he looked at her, his rich green eyes piercing into her own, Cara did not need to see his face to know it as no elf she was looking at. ‘Oh.’

*

Loki was startled to find someone falling into his lap, when he realised who it was, he decided to figure out which Norns his mind had silently been praying to, and get down on his knees and thank them. ‘Cara.’

‘Damn it.’ She leant back. ‘Sorry.’ Was all she said before rushing off. Loki was after her in a heartbeat. ‘Please, no.’

‘Cara, please, I only wish to talk to you.’

‘But I do not want to talk to you.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because when I wanted to talk, you would not, you shut me out.’

‘I am sorry. I am so incredibly sorry for how much and how deeply I hurt you. To do that was the greatest wrong I have ever committed. We do not hurt those we love, yet I did that to you. I thought I was doing the right thing but not once did I speak to you about it and I cost myself the most incredible thing to happen to me and there has not been one single night that goes by that I have not fallen asleep thinking about you and since returning from Asgard that I do not feel even worse knowing I hurt us like this. That you are still hurting because of me. I would endure Lucia’s treatment a hundred thousand years rather than hurt you.’

Cara stood looking at him, not expecting him to lay himself bear like that. ‘A hundred years, a century, and not once did you speak to me.’

‘Letters work both ways.’ He responded. Cara gave a face of reluctant agreement. ‘I was hurting, and I did not want to cost you everything.’

‘It almost did, my love was gone. I was so scared I would never want to be a Healer again.’

‘You are, though, aren’t you?’

‘Yes.’ 

‘Here?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why here?’

‘Well, my options were limited, I mean, a few of the realms are not conducive to my being a healer there, what with one having no beings, one being occupied by giant beings, one being filled with ice beings that are still angry over a war where my father did assist yours in slaughtering half of them, so you know, I understand their dislike on that level. Then the one with dead beings, I would be somewhat useless there. I tried Midgard…’ She shook her head. ‘I love their literature, their food and their lands, but….the darkness…’

‘It has a sun?’

‘Not that darkness, the darkness in their minds. How are the same beings that write such beautiful things also so evil?’ She asked sadly. 

Loki looked at her sympathetically. ‘I don’t know.’

‘I...I lasted a week, I had to get away from there. Vanaheim was exhausted to me and I did not want to go home, leaving…’

‘Here.’ She nodded. ‘Were you in the Sanctum a few days ago?’ Again, she nodded. ‘I saw you.’

‘Is that why you are here?’

‘Yes.’ She said nothing in response. ‘I had to speak with you, apologise to you. Make this some bit right.’ 

‘I can’t see how.’

‘We...I just, I would like to speak to you again, be around you again. Even if you never see me as you did before. There was more to us than just that. My time speaking with you...I miss it, more than I miss anything else. You...you are so eloquent and intelligent.’ 

‘Are you trying to say I was not great at other things?’ She asked with a smile. 

Loki’s face fell. ‘No, that...that was incredible...I just…’ Seeing her smirking, he stopped speaking. ‘I miss you, Cara, more than I have missed anyone else.’

‘We are part of families because we are born into them, we love them as a result. When we add people to our lives, we are adding them because of other reasons, I think that bond can often be stronger, there is no blood tie to keep us loyal.’ 

Loki walked over to her. ‘Please, please forgive me. I know I have caused you so much hurt. What I did, I did out of love for you, wanting you to be everything you can be. I failed to ask you what you wanted, I assumed Sif knew, but she never asked you either and to not have spoken to you is wrong, but I want to try and make it up to you if I can?’

Cara thought for a moment. ‘I was going to get something to eat now, perhaps, if you do not assume to know what I want and order before asking me, you could come along?’ 

The smile on her face gave Loki hope. ‘I promise to ask what you think first.’ 

Cara smiled, putting her hand in his and allowing their fingers to intertwine. ‘I want to hear everything interesting about the Sanctum, it’s been a hundred years, so we better start now. You are allowed out this day every week, correct, it will still take us a few days to get through it all. What time are you supposed to be back?’

‘Midnight.’ Loki looked at her, smiling uncontrollably. 

‘That gives us plenty of time to begin.’ The way she looked at him gave him so much hope, he swore to himself he would fix it all, one step at a time, and if she permitted, he would make her his permanently. If she would wait a hundred years for him and had been willing to wait longer, he could wait for a thousand if needed for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, it is over sadly. You can decide for yourselves how they end up, lovers or friends.


End file.
